# My sweet baby hates strangeres :(



## dooneygirl09 (Mar 9, 2012)

How can I get Vegas to warm up to strangers? I know its my fault for not socializing her very well as a pup, but I dont know why I didnt. It seems like I took her out as much as i took Tank out and he LOVES everyone. I cant go anywhere without her barking through the window at the drive thru lady! She wouldnt ever bite, she usually just cowers and runs away. But I would like her to be more friendly to people. Id like to take her to pet smart without her barking the whole time! Some people shes ok with, if I approach them with her, but other times she just HATES EVERYONE! Any suggestions? Ive considered doing puppy classes, since I plan on taking Europe, but anything I can do at home?



I feel sooo stupid, I spelled strangers wrong in the title


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## xchairity_casex (Oct 8, 2011)

although she isnt biteing people now if pushed she could potentially bite someone fearful dogs are very prone to become biters becuase people see this cute little dog and thinks "omg!! how cute i wanna pet them!!!" while this fearful dog is saying "im not comfortable with you get away from me"
the fact that she is barking at peopleis a sign shes already warning people to "stay away" if someone were to appraoch her and try to forcfully pet her i have no doubts she could bite them.

and with somedogs even being socielized early on they can still turn out fearful as adults it happens dont beat yourself up or feel bad.

i dont think i would start with a class right away as that could do more harm then good for her right now that situation could be too stressful for her and could push ehr over the top.

begin at home with a close freind whos got a good bit of time to help you for a few days/weeks
give them some yummy treats,put vegas on a lead and have your freind sit down and talk to you without looking at or talking to vegas and keep vegas there with the lead but ignore her ignore her barking,growling, anything ignore it all and just sit there if she barks for two hours let her bark and keep talking once vegas relaxes and stops barking yoru freind can get up and leave and come back t do the same thing again the next day and again and again and again the second vegas appraoches your freind have her hold a treat out in her hand WITHOUT looking or talking to vegas and give it to her.
dont pet her,dont talk to her let her get ehr own rewards from your freind by approaching her.

do this as often as you and your freind are able once vegas seems comfortable with that freind find another freind to do the same then another then another get as many peolpe involved at once that you can.

nervous dogs want people to not look at them or talk to them or even acknowledge them vegas needs to feel comfortable appraoching people she is comfortable with and she will only feel comfortable with them if she is ignored by them.

never yell at vegas or jerk her lead or drag her out from behind your legs to greet someone let her be the best thing you can do is to ignore her if she hides behind you step to the side so shes no longer behind you if she keeps moving behind you keep side stepping away while ignoreing.
as long as she feels you will protect her she will not step out of her comfort zone to meet new people she needs to be taught that its ok to do so.


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## Maxy24 (Mar 5, 2011)

My dog is fearful of strangers too and has been since we adopted him at ten weeks old, up close socialization was impossible because he was already terrified. The biggest mistake we made was trying to push him. Kneeling down, having the person try to encourage him, using treat to try and lure him out, even handing him off to the stranger. By doing this he learned that strangers approaching were going to try and touch him and he had to defend himself, that's why his fear turned into aggression (well that and maturity). For the last year or so we've been very strict with strangers about leaving him alone. People who come over are told to ignore him. He can come and sniff without fearing for his safety. He is put on leash at the start of the person's visit and I walk him out of the room if he barks and I wait until he calms down enough to follow a sit command or make eye contact with me, then we go back out. Once he calms down enough around the person to not jump at their every move and not to bark anymore I will take him off leash. But you need to know your dog, I know when my dog is no longer at risk for biting, if you are not confident of this keep him on leash or get a muzzle. It takes me MUCH longer to let him off around kids, I've only done it once after the kid was here for many hours because until then he still became upset when the child ran or walked at him and it was a well behaved six year old who knew the dog was fearful. Know your dog.

Out in public when people approach or walk near us I reward him for looking at them, I use "look at that" where the dog gets treat for looking at strangers so they begin to become excited when they show up because they predict good things. It doesn't make them want attention from the strangers but it changes their emotions from dread to excitement which cuts down on fearful reactions or at least delays them significantly. If people approached and asked to pet I'd give them treats the whole time for sitting next to me calmly as I told the person they could not pet him. Eventually, when strangers simply approaching no longer bothered him I would only give treats when people did something that might bother him like making eye contact with him, smiling at him, talking to him, offering a hand, kneeling etc. He has gone from a dog who went psycho when someone said hi to me from across the street to a dog who simply moves away from people kneeling, baby talking, and reaching at him. You need to choose your words towards strangers carefully. When he was really nervous around strangers and would go off at anything I would tell people" no you can't pet him, he's not friendly", people don't want to get bit. I still tell this to children's parents because I don't trust kids not to try and touch him. Once he was fine with people talking to me and approaching us it was time to have the strangers do a little more. So I'd say "no, he's really scared of strangers" this kept people from reaching/kneeling but they would look at him, smile at him, or even talk to him so I could reward him for handling those things. Once he was fine with that I'd start saying "no he's really shy" and people seem to think they need to try and win his trust so they will kneel and hold out a hand but because I did say no they won't actually right out touch him. So he gets used to people kneeling and reaching. So you need to learn how to handle people, if they start to make the dog nervous tell them, no, he's really scared and if they ignore you just walk away from them because it's important that the dog not become afraid enough to react, you want him to think he's safe, so never push him past what he's learned to be comfortable with.

Tucker was also helped a lot by going to the park. It's almost a dog park, but not officially. Tucker LOVES dogs and is more tolerant of people when dogs are involved. He won't be bothered by people reaching at him if there is a dog involved, he'll just move away and go back to their dog. He is just full of so many good emotions that he can't be afraid. So it's helped him be more comfortable with strangers. I've been taking him there for a little less than a year and he has made SO MUCH progress. Yesterday for the first time someone actually pet him, he was sniffing their dog and she said hi and I said oh he's really shy and she just reached down and pet him anyway at which point my heart stopped. Tucker turned his head sniffed her hand and then just continued sniffing her dog. My jaw nearly touched the ground, he didn't even move away from her hand. Now I don't really think that's something that should have happened as it could have ended badly but it shows how much has changed for him. He actually ran up to someone and put his paws on their knee to say hi, she offered him her hand and he sniffed it and didn't pull away. He's making huge progress. We had a few people over for St Patricks day, last year he went nutso and actually tried to bite one of the people who came. That same person came this time too. He barked once when they opened the door and then actually appeared happy to see them, wagging, sniffing, loose body. He would jump a little when they first payed attention and would back away if they offered a hand but in like 20 minutes he was asking for attention and after dinner he was sitting in the lap of the person he tried to bite last year. He hasn't had such a good reaction ever.


What's really important is letting the dog set the pace and making sure the strangers don't push him to the point of a reaction. Use the treats to change his emotional response to people and to interrupt any inklings of fear. If someone approached and I saw he was getting the look that he was going to react (staring at their face, stiff, tight lips) I'd put the treat right in front of him so he would be distracted and then we'd quickly move away. If you are too late and a reaction already happens just move away and remember what caused it for next time. I would stop going to the pet store, it sounds like way to much. Maybe hang out outside of the door so you can mark and reward him for looking at the people as they exit/enter just stand far enough away so that they don't startle him. Never try to make him meet someone, if he wants to move away let him, never encourage him to meet someone, this makes him loose trust in you, if someone is making him nervous encourage him to move away, you want him to know that he is never going to be trapped or forced otherwise he can never feel safe. Treats won't work if the dog still feels he's in danger. 

If you know he might have a reaction (like at the driventhrough) have treats ready and start giving them as soon as she appears or he can hear her so that you can prevent a reaction and keep him happier. When I'm on a walk and he sees strangers he start wagging and looks at me "mom look, strangers! That means cookies right?" which is SO much better than before when he saw them and had a meltdown trying to scare them off of the face of the earth. He is excited to see them because they are good for him. That sort of emotional change is what will allow the dog to progress further with the people, the longer you can stave off the fear the better.

I've probably written too much but I'm very impressed with how this has been working for our dog, his reactions are so much better because he feels safe and because we've altered his emotions. Good luck, fearful dogs can be so frustrating, I know I started to resent Tucker because I couldn't do all the things I wanted to do with him. That's why i'm glad I found the dog park, it gives us something he enjoys and something I can do with him that makes me happy too.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

You've been given some excellent advice here already. Do what Maxy and Charity suggest. It's a lot of work and takes time, patience and sticking up for your dog at times, but, it is does work.


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## OnyxDog (Jun 15, 2011)

MollyWoppy said:


> You've been given some excellent advice here already. Do what Maxy and Charity suggest. It's a lot of work and takes time, patience and sticking up for your dog at times, but, it is does work.


I completely agree. If you do what's already been advised, you should be well on your way to having a well-adjusted dog. It really is a lot of work, but so WORTH IT!!


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## xellil (Apr 4, 2011)

yes, and places like pet stores tend to have people in there who think every dog is going to love being approached. 

I quit taking Snorkels to pet stores, or i carry her in my arms. She's never going to be comfortable being approached by total strangers. She has pretty much quit biting at people except if they come up to an open car window OR they reach out a hand to pat her on the head but I see no reason to stress her out by forcing her to accept strangers.

If people knew how to approach her, i would take her.


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## IslandPaws4Raw (Sep 7, 2011)

dooneygirl09 said:


> How can I get Vegas to warm up to strangers?


I have come to the realization, rather late in life, that dogs just like people are not all social butterflies. Personally I don't like people fawning all over me either....I like my personal space. I wish I had stuck up more in the past with some of my little dogs. They especially seem to be a target for strangers "Oh! Look at the cute wittle doggie!" And they proceed to maul your dog without invitation. Bleck!

Kai is reserved with strange people, she will go up and sniff, but she doesn't want them to touch her until she has met them a few times and judges them worthy. She will bark at them, but then she barks at everyone....she has a lot to say 
So I make sure she is comfortable with a situation before I allow contact. I let them know straight off the bat that she can be admired from afar.......

I had this idiot woman approach us in the airport on the way home this weekend. She came barreling over to Kai, who was sitting on the chair beside me, wanting to pet her.........Mind you we were all exhausted, Kai is anticipating the flight that she hates, so she's growling at the woman......and the dodo head is still coming at her with her hand!!!!
I'm like what is this stupid woman thinking???? "I'm going to stick my hand in the cute face that's growling at me!!???" I said "Umm! Not a good idea!!!" and she finally withdrew her hand.

I am absolutely fine with her reservedness. I completely understand that it is a part of her genetic makeup. That was the first time that she had growled at someone, and I made the person back off, so hopefully it won't turn into an issue. If it does we will work on that, but she doesn't need to love everybody.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

God, Kai sounds so similar to Mol, reserved with strangers. But once she knows them, she adores them.


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## catahoulamom (Sep 23, 2010)

I'd just like to reiterate that you've already gotten wonderful advice from everyone above, Maxy24 basically gave you a step-by-step of how to control/work with her, I'd follow that advice to a T. 

I also have a dog that isn't a "people's dog" or even a "dog's dog". He likes some people, he likes some dogs... but he doesn't like ANY strangers approaching him. He's fine when I take him out in public, until someone comes up and says "OMG WHAT KIND OF DOG IS THAT CAN I PET HIM?", then as soon as they make eye contact or try to pet him he will back up and growl, and if they don't immediately take the hint he will start barking. I don't think he will ever change his opinion on strangers, and I'm perfectly fine with that, because I can manage his behavior and it won't turn into aggression as long as I am there to manage my dog and verbally warn the person that my dog is not okay with being pet. I recently ordered a "DOG IN TRAINING - PLEASE DO NOT PET" vest for him to wear in public, so I can still take him out to different places without being bum-rushed by people wanting to pet him.


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## dooneygirl09 (Mar 9, 2012)

This is all excellent advice. Whenever Vegas and I go out, she will ALWAYS bark at people through the window. Bank tellers, drive throughs, anybody. If we meet a stranger (which isnt very often, i believe I need more socialization than she does, im pretty much scared of everyone! which is odd because when i was younger i was such a people person) Anyways, she doesnt like the vet, barks at him, his assistant, begs me to take her off the table. If someone approaches her, she will tuck ears, sometimes growl, but i insist people not touch her often. If shes in the cart at Pet Smart, she will bark. bark bark bark! But it was so odd, the other day my fiances cousin was outside her house. We walked her by there, and she just ran up to Julie, tail wagging, like she was meeting my sister for the first time in a week. She didnt mind her at all! But when she noticed the kids behind her, she barked at them! hwell: shes pretty easy to read, but sometimes she amazes me. We dont have many 'friends' we can try to introdue her to. She adores my family already, and hubbys family isnt dog lovers like me, so im kind lost lol. sorry for all the horrible grammar and such, when I write a book i just dont worry about it lol


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## Scarlett_O' (May 19, 2011)

MollyWoppy said:


> God, Kai sounds so similar to Mol, reserved with strangers. But once she knows them, she adores them.


That is their natural instinct though, that's how my BCs are(well most, Kee is anything but reserved!LOL)
(I love their aditue towards strangers though, as it just mirrors my own!:tongue: :lol


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

Yeah, I agree, the herding breeds can be like that. Our vet has a blue heeler and thats what he told me when Mol was a wee pup, you can't change the genetics, (he thought I was pulling my dick trying too hard to socialise Mol), all you can do is manage it. So true.


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## taem (Oct 29, 2011)

I'm socializing like mad right now because my pup too is very wary of strangers. When I got her at 9.5 weeks she tried to run like mad from everyone, now she just sits and stares. She's getting better and better, today at 11.5 weeks she walked up to an old Aussie gent who knelt down to greet her and stood up to try to sniff his face.

At first what I had to do was not try to socialize the dog per se, I just walked up to strangers and let her sit there apart as I talked to them. At first she lunged and pulled frantically at the harness trying to get away from the scary stranger, I just let her, making sure she was in a wide mesh harness. Next stage was sitting on the ground so she could sit on the other side of me, feeling a bit safer, while I talked to the stranger while handing puppy treats and stroking her. And then remaining standing and letting her sit between my feet.

Right at the start, when she was at her most frightened, I was recommended a doggie shirt that sort of hugs the dog tight and allegedly provides a sense of comfort for nervous dogs. I never used it but if she hadn't been able to pass the hump I might have given it a try.

Obviously my puppy is at an easy socialization stage right now though. And my puppy doesn't bark, which makes things easier. I know this chihuahua, he will bark until he passes out, and that can't be good for that dog, so he never gets to meet anybody.



dooneygirl09 said:


> I feel sooo stupid, I spelled strangers wrong in the title


No it's cool, it makes you sound european and europeans sound smart!


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## Luvmypibble (Apr 4, 2012)

my pit has a thing with strangers as well and he has always been this way from day one...we took him out and about but he still barks even at people he knows for sometime.I KNOW he has a thing about men..He will not go near any of them but my husband or my father n law..all others he will bark at and NOT go near... He is my favortie flower...a Pansy cause he is just that... Not sure what to do about him and strangers or men !!! He will NOT bite he runs from them..


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