# If your dog had an online dating profile...



## OnyxDog (Jun 15, 2011)

...what would it say? This is just a goofy way for me to get to know the dogs of DFC!


Here is one for Treasure:









Screen name: Mamasgrrrl07
Age: 5 years
Breed: Dachshund
Hair color: Red Dapple/Piebald
Eye Color: Blue
Body Type: Average
Status: Spayed

Hey boys! My name is Treasure. I am a fiery little redhead dachshund with a passion for blankets. If there is a blanket on the floor or couch, you can almost always find me under it. I just loooove being warm. So if you are looking for a cuddle under a nice, warm blanket... I'm your gal! Some of my other interests include: trick training, staring out open windows, long walks by the canal, playing with kong toys, eating raw meat, and rolling in worms! I also love puppies, and will adopt any little abandoned pup I see! I have three adopted chihuahua children, that have all found great homes! So, if you like blankets, worms, and puppies... and think you can keep up with me... send me a message!


----------



## xellil (Apr 4, 2011)

That was hilarious! She'll be getting calls ASAP. Lots of blanket lovers out there 

Here's Snorkels. I have to think about Rebel.

Screen name: None
Age: 14 years
Breed: Dachshund
Hair color: Red. Bald on tummy. Sometimes have a little pee on the rear.
Eye Color: Black.
Body Type: Average. Somewhat lumpy.
Status: Spayed. Too old for babies so I hope you don't want kids.

You must have food. You must be willing to give it to me all the time. I don't care what breed you are - mixed breeds welcome. If you don't have food, don't call. You also must be rich, as I am paying for my vet's swimming pool.

Me? I have a cute little wiggle in my walk and a sexy bark. My presence is all you need. I am the queen of the world.


----------



## OnyxDog (Jun 15, 2011)

Very cute! I was hoping to see Snorkels here, and you didn't disappoint!


----------



## Deaf Dogs (Apr 10, 2012)

OMG how fun is this!

Here's Mouse:

Screen name: Sniffurbutt123
Age: 3.5
Breed: Dachshund
Hair color: Double Dapple
Eye Color: Blue
Body Type: short but svelt
Status: intact (and soon to be horny)

Looking for someone to snuggle up against (the last one didn't work out, so I ignore him now). You must have access to alot of food, of any kind, I'm not picky. You must like rough play and take my biting without complaint. You must be proficient in sign language, as I dont hear, but be patient if I dont see what you're saying, as my eyes aren't great either. I like long sniffs through soft grass, especially if a rodent might have passed through sometime in the last week. I like chasing balls and doing tricks. I'd like a man without balls, though, cuz I dont want to be tied down with babies, but wouldn't mind a little slap and tickle during "my time of the year". The last one wasn't any good for that either, even though I did everything in my power to get him to "help a girl out" So I just ignore him. If you want lots of snuggles, and can take rough play, and dont mind following my rules, than I'm your girl!


----------



## Kat (Jul 12, 2011)

This is such a cute idea  Ill have to do Rubys later, dont have the brain power to think too much right now :tongue:


----------



## chowder (Sep 7, 2008)

I don't know if I can keep up with all of these, but I'll do Rocky first.

Screen name: Rocket J. Squirrel
Age: 4 years
Breed: Chow - with a touch of mystery 
Hair color: Cream with biscuits ears (sounds classier then white and brown)
Eye Color: Black.
Body Type: tall and lean
Status: available for play but not serious commitments 

Hi, I'm known as Rocky to my friends and I hope you'll be one of them! I may appear aloof and serious at first, but once I get to know you, I'm all snuggles and can be actually be quite goofy. Give me a chance and I may end up in your lap! I'm not into jogging or much outdoor activity unless it's swimming, but I'm always up for a good round of wrestling in an air conditioned living room. Then we can curl up and watch a movie and have snacks!


----------



## KittyKat (Feb 11, 2011)

Screen name: Lickity Split
Age: 1.5 years
Breed: Whippet
Hair color: Brindle
Eye Color: Brown
Body Type: Lean mean running machine
Status: Single and looking

I'm looking for a fast man to keep up with my speedy lifestyle, but also enjoys time on the slow side of life. I love meat and I don't mind sharing mine with the right kinda guy either - but you have to have the same diet as me - I'm an all natural, refined kinda gal. I love playing around on the beachfront and meeting all sorts of new people. I'm generally social - but I do like my alone time with my blankets. A good cuddle puts me in a good mood after a long day of ball chasing. I'm in love with my ball, and would love someone who enjoys chasing as much as I do. I'm pretty laid back and if you've got some groove, give me a howl.










Screen name: Foodie
Age: 3 months
Breed: Whippet
Hair color: Brindle
Eye Color: Brown
Body Type: Lean
Status: Looking for friends (with food)

[Profile removed due to underage poster]
I like meat! MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT! I like to run towards meat, that's the bestest!! I like kitchens, they have food! I want someone to give me more meat or poop!! I like poop too! Maybe someone to chew on, I like that too! I like bouncing! Bounce bounce bounce!
[Profile removed due to underage poster]


----------



## bridget246 (Oct 26, 2011)

Screen name: Bridget Bridget
Age: 1 year
Breed: GSD
Hair color: Brown/tan
Eye Color: Brown
Body Type: Superdog
Status: Single and not looking. 

Hello, my name is Bridget. Don't worry about contacting me. Just leave your scent on a tree outside and I will find it. You have to understand that I am a very busy dog and I just can't get back to all of you. Have a good day. Oh and by the way. It is not okay for to try anything on a first date. If your intact before you tried it you will be fixed after that attempt. 

Screen name: Carlos is handsome
Breed: Boxer mix with the best of both of course
Hair color: Natural brown tan
Eye color: I like to match so that is brown too.
Body Type: Slim as I stay active
Status: Always looking. Being fixed isn't going to stop me from having fun.

My name is Carlos. If your a female dog or human *The rest of this post has been edited*


----------



## chowder (Sep 7, 2008)

Screen name: Shady Monster
Age: 6 years
Breed: Rotten Weiler 
Hair color: Brown with a little black
Eye Color: Black.
Body Type: Muscular (or chunky, depending on who you ask)
Status: in a relationship with my best friend Rocky

I'm Shade, but you can call me Shady, or Monster, or Brown, just don't call me late for supper! I was rescued from a yard and all I want now is a little loving from all I meet. I may look tough, and I have a really loud bark, but I'm a big cuddle bunny and love to snuggle people. I get really scared of things like thunder and paper and anybody who talks loud or looks at me wrong, so everyone just come and give me hugs and treats and I'll be your best friend!


----------



## Caty M (Aug 13, 2010)

Screen name: Princess
Age: One year
Breed: Italian greyhound
Hair color: Blonde all the way!!!
Eye Color: Brown
Body Type: Tall and skinny, like a model :wink:
Status: Single, unfixed and looking!

My name is Tess.. and looking for someone to cuddle, preferably for at least twelve hours a day. Must be at least as fast as me (there must be at least three of you out there!..) and have a very soft and warm bed. Blankets a must. I require about a pound a day of either Chilean sea bass, grass fed filet mignon or the finest aged green chicken so you have to have a decent paying job! 

FOODIE the whippet is a possible match.. in a few months! :biggrin:


----------



## Celt (Dec 27, 2010)

Screen name: Your Highness
Age: Almost 4 yr
Breed: Italian Greyhound
Hair color: Red with white Irish markings
Eye Colorark Brown
Body Type: Elegantly slim 
Status: Searching for a Companion
First of all, you need to know that I am descended from royalty, as such only those of similar backgrounds need to apply. We will take our time getting to know one another. I do not believe in immediate friendship. I like snuggling under blankets, flinging and pouncing on soft toys. I adore running and jumping. I believe that I should be the focus of any relationship. It is my right to be coddled and catered to. I am not shy about speaking up when I feel that I am being shortchanged. IF you would like the chance to work slowly into a great friendship, contact me.


----------



## Caty M (Aug 13, 2010)

Maybe Tess has just found a contender.. LOL. They look a lot alike!


----------



## mischiefgrrl (Oct 28, 2010)

I LOVE this thread!

While we had two 20 year old girl visitors this week, Tanis was in heaven. I came home to find him laying across BOTH of their laps with the biggest grin on his face. Of course I called him a whore.

Here goes:









Screen name: SexyRedBoy4U
Age: 5 1/2 years
Breed: Australian Shepherd
Hair color: Red Merle
Eye Color: Brown
Body Type: Svelte 
Status: In a relationship - but open minded

If you throw a ball, I'll wonder why you'd throw a perfectly good ball away. I'm a lover, not a player. Hug me, rub my belly, give me a treat and I'll be yours forever. I love long moonlit walks, pooping on trees and snuggling in front of the tv. Turn offs: claws, howling wind, rain storms, people who think little dachshunds are cuter than me (As if!)


----------



## OnyxDog (Jun 15, 2011)

These are excellent! Keep them coming! I will try to post one of the boys when I get a chance!


----------



## malluver1005 (Nov 15, 2009)

Screen name: xxhandsome_man_8105xx
Age: almost 7
Breed: Alaskan Malamute
Hair color: White, black and grey 
Eye Color: soft almond brown
Body Type: tall and hairy, but very lean and muscular if you feel me!
Status: single and fixed, but I don't care.

I'm Aspen. I am a very easy going, laid back kinda guy..but, also very active and playful when you want me to be. I LOVE long morning bike runs on a cold winter day, as you can tell by my hair. If you're ever cold, and I really really like you, you can come snuggle next to me and you'll never be chilly again! You must not be too big...or I will feel a bit uncomfortable with you. But, you must be fairly strong to handle me at playtime because I can be rough! For the ladies interested and who don't mind talking for a while...call me, I love to chit chat


----------



## Celt (Dec 27, 2010)

Screen name: Prince Sugar-n-Spice
Age: Almost 3 years
Breed: Italian Greyhound 
Hair color: Red Fawn, mostly white, pied
Eye Color: Light Brown.
Body Type: A bit on the skinny side. A real runner's build
Status: Single but lookin for a pal

Heelloo, Everyone!!! Aren't you glad to see me? You can look but no touchies, I'm not that type of boy. Well, at least, not until we get to know each other a bit. lol. Let's see, a little about me. Weell, I luuvvv treats. I mean it's amazing that I'm this thin with all the treats I eat. lol. Snuggling is good too especially when you can streeeetch waaay out under a soft blankie. I have a thing for long hair or fancy haircuts. My favorite thing is to RUN, expecially if I can "tigger" someone. I like playing with sticks, squeaky toys (luuuvv squeakies), begging for treats and playing tug. I really hope you'll come and hang out with me. Maybe we'll hit it off and become snugglebuddies.


----------



## sozzle (May 18, 2011)

http://dogfoodchat.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=7361&d=1336451342
Screen Name: Mr Longbottom
Age: 6
Breed: Greyhound
Hair Colour: Black
Eye Colour: Brown
Body Type: lean and lithe
Status: Retired athlete and single

I know I look aloof and a bit posh...well that's because I am. Don't let that put you off, I'm very friendly when you get to know me. I love to run fast so if you are a gal who can keep up then I am interested.
Snoozing undisturbed is a favourite pastime of mine, oh and barking at the postie and cats and anyone else who dares to walk or drive past my house.
Don't expect too much attention from me as I'm more of an introspective, reserved chap.
I love my raw food and will happily help you to eat yours too.
I am very gentlemanly and never hump people or other dogs and I'm not even sizeist as two of my best friends are tiny cavoodle thingies.
I do love other greyhounds and get very excited when I see them but will happily get to know you if you are of a different build.


----------



## lauren43 (Feb 6, 2011)

Screen name: Sir Licksalot
Age: 2 years
Breed: A little bit of everything
Hair color: Black with brown and white accents
Eye Color: Amber brown
Body Type: Bicyclist thin
Status: Actively seeking full-time playmate

Most importantly we can only meet in a fenced yard, I don't like the constraints of leashes. Must love a good game of chase, where I of course have the toy. Don't mind my little lumpy leg, I hear that will be gone soon. Oh yes, its important for you to know I love water, well at least the type you can stand in, if there is a baby swimming pool near by or large water bowl, you will get wet! Also I love my raw food, therefore I do not share.


----------



## OnyxDog (Jun 15, 2011)

I LOVE all of these! Thank you for entertaining me! 











Screen name: Amp the Scamp
Age: 1.5 years
Breed: Long-haired dachshund with a tiny bit of chihuahua
Hair color: brown with some red and black accents
Eye Color: dark brown
Body Type: fit
Status: neutered, but looking

The name's Amp. Amp the Scamp! I am FULL of energy, and love to run and play! If I growl at you during play, don't be frightened! I just love to talk! One of my favorite things to do while playing is ankle-biting! I just love to chew on my big bro's ankles. I also love running around with my favorite toys. I get the zoomies a lot when I pick up my toys! I just love making my big brother chase me around. Don't mind my oddly-shaped tail! My other qualities more than make up for that tiny flaw. Turn offs: sardines, salmon, trout, and duck. If you have a lot of energy, and you want to have fun Fun FUN, give me a shout!


----------



## monkeys23 (Dec 8, 2010)

Screen name: Princess Lily Bug
Age: 5 years
Breed: GSD/Sibe
Hair color: Agouti
Eye Color: Red Brown
Body Type: Lean, mean, running machine.
Status: Spayed

I'm looking for more cute boys to chew and play chase me, chase me with. Must be willing to team fetch and tug and let me run the show. Swimming and running hard are some of my other favorite activities. If we can hunt squirrels together, so much the better! At the end of the day, I love pack snuggles by the fire.


Screen name: fluffeh08
Age: 4 years
Breed: GSD/Sibe/Belgian mix
Hair color: Red Sable
Eye Color: Red Brown
Body Type: Lean, mean, running machine
Status: Spayed

Looking for a hot new playdate! I love to wrestle, run with, and chew on my friends. We can play keep away and tug with toys! I'd be really happy if you could keep up with me! And then we can snuggle and play in the house later.


----------



## monkeys23 (Dec 8, 2010)

Lily's pic









Scout


----------



## RedneckCowgirl (Oct 28, 2011)

Screen name: Luv2swim
Age: 2 years (almost)
Breed: Labrador Retriever
Hair color: Black
Eye Color: Brown
Body Type: Lean and muscular
Status: Intact, but celibate. No pups here!

I'm Moose, and I would love to meet some cute girls to play fetch with and maybe even go swimming (if we ever get some nice weather up here) I love to stay in shape, so I do a LOT of running and weight pulling. I'm not too bright but I sure do look good 



Screen name: DramaQueen
Age: 4 years
Breed: Mutt
Hair color: Blonde
Eye Color: Brown
Body Type: Fit
Status: Spayed

My name is Maddie, and you will never be good enough for me. I only exercise as much as I have to, I much prefer lazy-ing around on the couch or my moms bed all day. I also enjoy sunbathing, but despise any sort of swimming. I'm here to look pretty, not work. I am big blonde and beautiful. Ever heard that song from the musical Hairspray? Well, it is me to a "T"


----------



## Deaf Dogs (Apr 10, 2012)

Here's Oliver:










Age: almost 4 years
Breed: Terrier x
Hair color: Wheaten
Eye Color: Brown
Body Type: Sleek and Muscular
Status: Neutered

I'm looking for someone who'll play with me for hours. I'm always up for a game, of any kind! I LOVE to play games! I dont share food well, so you must bring your own. I like long walks, performing tricks, swimming, hunting, and bird watching (chasing!) Once I decide you're mine, I will protect you with my life, from anything I deem scary.

Do you like ball? do you like wrestling? do you like to play chase? Do you play tug? Will you ignore me trying to kill you when we first meet? Then I'm your match!


----------



## xchairity_casex (Oct 8, 2011)

Screen name: XXXSTUDXXX
Age: 1 year-im a young stud!
Breed: Bull Terrier
Hair color: Red
Eye Color: brown-the best color
Body Type: All muscle baby
Status: Neuterd-but dont worry about that im still a HUNK

Hey there ladies! i am one hunk of beef cake! i am neuterd,but dont let THAT fool you i am ALL MAN!
i can fufill your deepest desiers OH YEH BABY!
i just LOVE showing off my "GUNS" to the other dogs around town they are so jelous becuase im so damn sexy and MANLY!!
better jump on THIS band wagon ladies becuase theres only so much of this hunk to go around 

see how strong i am








and see my manly maness in this one








oh yeh baby and this one


----------



## splitnightsky (Jun 20, 2011)

this looks fun 










Screen name: Scorch the Torch
Age: one year
Breed: Cardigan Welsh Corgi (we like our tails here!)
Hair color: tricolor
Eye Color: gold-brown
Body Type: slim and long
Status: intact but with no sex drive

Don't let the fact that I have no drive deceive you. If you're the right lady, we could definitely make some music together. But until then, I'm looking for a rough and tough playmate who is always willing to wrestle. I go all day and night, so don't worry about my endurance. I'm also a big talker and love to have active conversations. I can be pretty clueless about things, so don't be surprised if I don't even notice when you make a move. If you like big, tough men in mini bodies, I'm sure we'll be best pals (or more if I ever figure it out). Call my mom for info - she loves to set up dates for me.

Likes: playing fetch. playing chase. playing knock-the-other-dog-down. playing chase-the-water from the hose. running. my mom <3
Dislikes: Huskies. people who get too close to my house. being away from my mom.


----------



## smaughunter (Apr 27, 2012)

Screen name: TheDestructor
Age: 6
Breed: Basenji
Hair color: Tricolor
Eye Color: Light brown
Body Type: Slender but athletic
Status: Spayed. Seeking minion(s) to aid in the destruction of the world.

Bow down to me inferiors! If you are large, warm, and willing to do whatever I command without question you may be eligible to join my ranks of minions. My likes include: Sunbathing, sleeping under the blankets, chewing, running, chewing, dominating all life forms, cats and chewing. My dislikes include: Anyone who questions my genius or superiority, Do-gooders, water and cold weather.


----------



## Jordan S. (Feb 2, 2010)

Screen name: chocolate
Age: 11 years
Breed: Unknown
Hair color: Dark Brown
Eye Color: Hazel
Body Type: Lean
Weight: 23 lbs
Status: Neutered

Hi I'm Chocolate. I'm 11 years old but don't let the age fool you, I'm not likely to slow down anytime soon. I'm looking for someone who will let me eat as much as I want, and will take on walks whenever I want. You may not want to, but My eyes have a hypnotic quality to them that will make you give in due to cuteness overload. I'm ok with cats and I only like dogs if they aren't in my face all the time.


----------

