# Feeding my Parent's Dog = Tiresome



## BrownieM (Aug 30, 2010)

I'm almost finished with grad. school and pretty soon here I am going to move out of my parent's house (again - I used to live across the country). Anyway, ever since I started feeding raw, I have been feeding my parents' dog, Henry. My mom knows essentially nothing about the diet, has no desire to read up on it (she told me this) but she DOES enjoy the health benefits that she sees in Henry. 

I would stay with my boyfriend much more frequently if I didn't always feel tied down to feeding my mom's dog (he can't come spend the night with me at my BF's, my mom would have a fit if he didn't sleep at the foot of her bed every night, understandably so.  )

And, I am hoping that we will be getting engaged soon. So, all of this means I really don't know what I am going to do when my mom fully takes care of Henry again. Do I just let her feed him kibble? Do I convince her to feed pre-made raw? She would definitely do it, despite the cost. Or do I start a pointless battle by trying to convince her to read up on a homemade raw diet? (I honestly doubt she'll do it.) She is still concerned about bones, and because she doesn't want to read up on the diet, I am concerned she wouldn't feed the diet correctly. 

Do I just get over it, move in, it's a dog?

What would you do? It is so hard for me to back away because I know what I am feeding him is best. But, I need to be liberated at some point and let my mom take care of her own dog. And it's a shame to think that he would eat an inferior diet after thriving on raw for the past 5 months.

Advice?


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## Northwoods10 (Nov 22, 2010)

I would suggest maybe having your mom sit in and watch you feed him a few times. Actually watching it and witnessing how they eat was a huge relief for me and made me get over some of my fears. 

Obviously she has access to the supplies to feed PMR since you are feeding it there, maybe she would realize it isn't so bad once she sees it happen a few times. You could write down a few basic guidelines for her and tape them to the inside of a cupboard door in the kitchen and obviously she could call you if she had any issues. I think you should mention it to her, that you would love to see him continue on PMR, and you'd appreciate if she took the time to learn from you so you could move on and not worry. I'd have no problem telling my mom that. And from there, thats all you can do. Give it a shot, the rest is up to her!

I hope she realizes its not so bad, and gives it an honest effort.


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## BrownieM (Aug 30, 2010)

Part of the problem is also the "getting of the meat". I meet My Pet Carnivore about 30 minutes from our house once a month. I'm not sure she would do this... I spend a few hours a month bagging meals. I'm not sure she'd do this... I'm the kind of person to devote abnormal amounts of time to something I am passionate about. She's not. I'm also the type of person to do go to whatever extreme is necessary to get things done. She's not, and honestly, most people aren't, ha ha. 

I can just see myself feeling the need to bag food for her and drop it off once a month. Hell. No. , though. I just don't have time. Especially since I want to get another puppy once I move out. 

She did tell me that she would continue feeding him this diet if I spelled out everything. Like, a weekly menu. I guess my concern is that there is so much more you need to know than just what he needs to eat each day. In my opinion, it is important to know why he eats those things, how to troubleshoot, how to determine if he needs more or less bone, more or less organ, muscle meat, etc. I fear that she would revert to kibble for convenience. It would pain me to see this because he has done so well after having bloat/torion now that he is on a raw diet. He's the happiest, healthiest creature that ever lived. :smile:

Maybe if I just spell out - Chicken quarter and 4-6 oz. organ Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Boneless beef, pork or venison Monday, Wednesday, Friday night. Boneless beef, pork, or venison Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday morning and evening. 

Maybe then she'd do it...

I just can't see her slaving away in the kitchen bagging meat like I do...


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## Northwoods10 (Nov 22, 2010)

I understand completely. My husband is a good comparisson to your mom. He loves the benefits, but doesn't have a clue about the jist of it, how to go about it, or what is necessary components of the diet. And wouldn't research it. He just wouldn't. He also wouldn't spend the amount of time I do packaging food. 

So, I know what you're going through. Maybe just have a heart to heart with her and ask her what she ultimately wants to happen. Explain to her the depth of raw feeding and go from there. If she's not willing to do it, she's not willing to do it. 

It is a commitment...and you're right, not everyone is willing to do that.


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## SilverBeat (Jan 16, 2011)

I think you should talk to your mom about what she wants to do. If she wants to keep feeding raw, maybe make a bulk order and help her portion and put it away. Tailor it to her needs. If she wants each meal in its own container, so be it.
If after all's said and done, she wants to keep doing it that way then more power to her! If she thinks it's too much, suggest smaller orders or pre-made raw.
Maybe even have her read a few books on raw feeding? Or even just a couple of articles?

ETA: I like her idea of a weekly menu, but maybe you could make it a monthly menu? And color-code it or something?


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## monkeys23 (Dec 8, 2010)

It sounds like she won't even hand him the stuff you've pre-bagged now?

Honestly if she's not going to put the time and effort into it, at least make sure she is educated about what a good pre-made raw or kibble would be. Or even The Honest Kitchen... thats easy enough to add some RMB's to now and then so its easier for lazy people.

Unfortunately we cannot make other people choose the best thing for their animals. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. 

Hell my mom was game to feed my girls PMR that I had bagged and left instructions for when I left them with her for a week and she's been given a bunch of info to read, but she still allows my stepdad to buy crap dog food and give cooked bones. He's even stepped down from Nutra Nuggets, which aren't great at all and gave Will upset tummy, to currently being on a bag of Atta Boy. Before that was generic Dura-Life Hi Protien.... Ugh its a good thing that poor dog can hunt rodents year round and eat placentas during Feb-April months. My only consolation is that if anything ever happens to my stepdad she wouldn't argue about me taking the dog... he's really attached to me. He actually tried to load up and leave with us yesterday.


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## BrownieM (Aug 30, 2010)

monkeys23 said:


> It sounds like she won't even hand him the stuff you've pre-bagged now?


No, she does this, absolutely. I've even left for a week and put the labeled meals in the fridge. When I'm going to spend the night out, I make sure his food is pre-bagged in the fridge. She feeds it to him no problem. 

She does want the best for him. He was on a very high quality kibble prior to raw, but after his bloat/torsion our vet suggested raw. She began doing 1/2 pre-made raw and 1/2 high quality kibble. I took over at some point and began PMR. She agrees that this is the best thing for him. I just don't see her bagging meals like I do. I just need to break it down so it is simpler for her. To be honest, I tend to make things too difficult. Maybe the way I do things is not the simplest. Perhaps if I learn how to make things simpler, it won't be an issue at all for her. :smile:


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## monkeys23 (Dec 8, 2010)

Yes, that would be good! 

I'm so lame... I just now started packing both girls meals in one baggie. Sad how long that little gem took to dawn on me.


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## BrownieM (Aug 30, 2010)

SilverBeat said:


> I think you should talk to your mom about what she wants to do. If she wants to keep feeding raw, maybe make a bulk order and help her portion and put it away. Tailor it to her needs. If she wants each meal in its own container, so be it.
> If after all's said and done, she wants to keep doing it that way then more power to her! If she thinks it's too much, suggest smaller orders or pre-made raw.
> Maybe even have her read a few books on raw feeding? Or even just a couple of articles?
> 
> ETA: I like her idea of a weekly menu, but maybe you could make it a monthly menu? And color-code it or something?


See, perhaps if I start simplifying the way I do things, I won't worry so much about her desire to replicate what I do. I *do* bag and label individual meals. It helps me feel more organized. This is what I do: 

Every Sunday night I take a big box down to the freezer in the basement. I take out AM and PM meals for each day, for both dogs, for the next week. I then label quickly: Mon AM Mil. Mon PM Mil. Mon AM Hen. Mon PM Hen. Etc. Etc. I put as many meals as I can in the fridge. I add new meals as the week goes on and as I have more room in the fridge.

Is there a simpler way of doing this?


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## monkeys23 (Dec 8, 2010)

I don't even have a set schedule, I just do stuff as I run out of it.... I do bag individual meals, but I don't label them. I recently starting putting their meals in one bag if they are getting the same thing that meal.... like two half pound hunks of beef heart in one baggie and last round of beef organs/turkey necks I had their meals in the same bag. But with the bunny organs I've got right now each other their meals is in a seperate bag. If that makes sense. I always bag chicken q's individually and they are mainly for Scout. Usually I get about a week or two worth of beef heart cut up at a time. Two bags of chicken q's lasts 3-4 weeks. And usually when I have an organ/rmb processing party I get enough meal packs for 5 weeks. Its kind of nice because its not a scary huge all at once project. And I just process on the kitchen counter and have Lily clean the cutting board for me before I wash it. I only thaw stuff the day of. Like when I feed breakfast I take out dinner to thaw, etc. I dunno if my system is more or less complicated...


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## SilverBeat (Jan 16, 2011)

I have a lot of smallish containers that hold about a pound of meat [enough for one day's meal], because I used to portion out every meal too. Now I just kind of eyeball it: some of this, half a pound of that, and a bit of the other. At any given time I have at least two kinds of meat thawed in the fridge, some in larger containers, some smaller. I have three sizes of containers: small [1 lb] meduim [3 lbs] and large [5-7lbs, depending]
When I am repackaging/putting meat away, I will typically keep one kind of meat in a small or medium container, and usually I'll put two kinds of meat in a large one. If I put all of one kind of meat in one, I'll take some waxed paper and kind of separate it so if I need to take some of it out and swap it, it's not all frozen together. I then label everything accordingly and try to keep at least 3 days' worth of food in the fridge.


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## BrownieM (Aug 30, 2010)

monkeys23 said:


> I don't even have a set schedule, I just do stuff as I run out of it.... I do bag individual meals, but I don't label them. I recently starting putting their meals in one bag if they are getting the same thing that meal.... like two half pound hunks of beef heart in one baggie and last round of beef organs/turkey necks I had their meals in the same bag. But with the bunny organs I've got right now each other their meals is in a seperate bag. If that makes sense. I always bag chicken q's individually and they are mainly for Scout. Usually I get about a week or two worth of beef heart cut up at a time. Two bags of chicken q's lasts 3-4 weeks. And usually when I have an organ/rmb processing party I get enough meal packs for 5 weeks. Its kind of nice because its not a scary huge all at once project. And I just process on the kitchen counter and have Lily clean the cutting board for me before I wash it. I only thaw stuff the day of. Like when I feed breakfast I take out dinner to thaw, etc. I dunno if my system is more or less complicated...


I only bag things because Henry eats so much more than Millie and I will totally get confused on who eats what. Then, I will end up spending more time trying to figure everything out, LOL. At least she won't have to worry too much about this with only one dog.


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## Ania's Mommy (Feb 8, 2009)

I don't buy huge bulk orders the likes of Jon and Natalie. I only have one dog. :wink: But I will buy a case of something every once in a while. I also buy large roasts at the grocery store from time to time. Once the stuff I buy is thawed (and I get around to it), I cut it into portion-sized pieces and put it in containers.

I pull out two containers per week-ish. One container contains about three days worth of bony meat. THe other container contains about 4 days of boneless meat. I kind of alternate from each container until they're half gone. Then I pull out a couple more containers, and repeat the process. Every once in a while, I'll throw in a can of fish. Easy peasy.

I find this way much easier (and more green) than putting individual meals in ziplock bags. It takes less prep work, too.


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## BrownieM (Aug 30, 2010)

Ania's Mommy said:


> I don't buy huge bulk orders the likes of Jon and Natalie. I only have one dog. :wink: But I will buy a case of something every once in a while. I also buy large roasts at the grocery store from time to time. Once the stuff I buy is thawed (and I get around to it), I cut it into portion-sized pieces and put it in containers.
> 
> I pull out two containers per week-ish. One container contains about three days worth of bony meat. THe other container contains about 4 days of boneless meat. I kind of alternate from each container until they're half gone. Then I pull out a couple more containers, and repeat the process. Every once in a while, I'll throw in a can of fish. Easy peasy.
> 
> I find this way much easier (and more green) than putting individual meals in ziplock bags. It takes less prep work, too.


So basically you do like weekly containers of meat. This would probably be feasible for my mom, esp. with one dog. The chicken quarters would obviously be for bone-in meals and the boneless would be for the rest of the meals. I bet she could do that. :smile:


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## Ania's Mommy (Feb 8, 2009)

BrownieM said:


> So basically you do like weekly containers of meat. This would probably be feasible for my mom, esp. with one dog. The chicken quarters would obviously be for bone-in meals and the boneless would be for the rest of the meals. I bet she could do that. :smile:


Yup. Each container has one type of meat. So Ania gets about 4-6 different types of meat a week. Usually it's closer to 4, but I'm good with that because she gets 8-10 different types of meat per month. Balance over time... 

THe one thing I DO package as a single meal portion in ziplock bags is organs. Maybe your mom could still do that, and try to feed them on days ending with zeros. So the 10th, 20th, and 30th of each month.


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## BrownieM (Aug 30, 2010)

Ania's Mommy said:


> THe one thing I DO package as a single meal portion in ziplock bags is organs. Maybe your mom could still do that, and try to feed them on days ending with zeros. So the 10th, 20th, and 30th of each month.


That's a good way to do it. Right now I have weekly baggies of organs. I feed it throughout the week, during their bone-in meals (which there are 3-4 of). This means they get relatively small amounts, like 3-5 oz. at a time. Let's say Henry needs approximately 17 oz. organs weekly. If she only fed organs once every 10 days, would she just feed like 17-18 oz? I swear he'd get cannon butt lol!


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## Ania's Mommy (Feb 8, 2009)

BrownieM said:


> That's a good way to do it. Right now I have weekly baggies of organs. I feed it throughout the week, during their bone-in meals (which there are 3-4 of). This means they get relatively small amounts, like 3-5 oz. at a time. Let's say Henry needs approximately 17 oz. organs weekly. If she only fed organs once every 10 days, would she just feed like 17-18 oz? I swear he'd get cannon butt lol!


When I feed organs, it's almost a full meal's worth. But, yeah, you should not do that if you don't think your dog can handle it. 

I'm having a hard time visualizing 3 - 5 oz. But I always thought that if I had to feed small amounts of organ each day, I would either 
1) cut them into the correct size, individually freeze them on a cookie sheet, then put them in a container. Then you could pull out a piece each day and feed it like vitamins.
2) make an organ puree with kidney, liver, and whatever else you can get (but mostly liver). Freeze them in an ice cube tray and feed as necessary. Do NOT make a cocktail.:spit:

But it sounds like the way you are currently doing it is working, so I probably wouldn't change anything.


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## BrownieM (Aug 30, 2010)

Ania's Mommy said:


> When I feed organs, it's almost a full meal's worth. But, yeah, you should not do that if you don't think your dog can handle it.
> 
> I'm having a hard time visualizing 3 - 5 oz. But I always thought that if I had to feed small amounts of organ each day, I would either
> 1) cut them into the correct size, individually freeze them on a cookie sheet, then put them in a container. Then you could pull out a piece each day and feed it like vitamins.
> ...


Well, I'm just kind of guessing. Basically, when I buy a thing of organs I separate into 12 oz. portions and 16 oz. portions. Then, I just grab a 12 oz. baggie for Millie on Sunday night and a 16 oz. baggie for Henry. I keep them in the fridge and feed throughout the week. I assume that they must be 3-5 oz. portions just based on the number of days in which I actually feed bone-in meals, which are the meals to which I add organs. Phew. What a mouthful!

In other words, I sort of just pull a chunk out every other day.


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## Ania's Mommy (Feb 8, 2009)

I hate math. But I totally understand what you're saying. 

Have you tried feeding Henry larger portions of organ? Feeding a full meal of organ is something that would need to be worked up to, but I think it's totally worth it. 

For me, it works better to toss one of my organ bags into the fridge with the rest of Ania's stuff every once in a while. For others, it's easier to feed little bits on a regular basis. SO whatever works best for your mom is the way to go.


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## BrownieM (Aug 30, 2010)

I'll bet your way is probably easier for her. It takes less thought. I'll start building him up to it. They have tummies of steal for the most part, so I bet they could handle it. It will make my life easier too - I can stop obsessing about getting little bits of organ in every other day.


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## Ania's Mommy (Feb 8, 2009)

Yeah, just keep feeding RMB's with the organs. At some point, you won't be able to fit RMB's into the meal. When that happens, you'll want to sandwich the organ meals between bony meals.

I really hope your mom sticks it out! I barely even think about it any more. It's become second nature to me.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

i think the heart of this one is ....will she do it if you're living elsewhere....will she go and buy it and portion, whether she puts a week's worth in a container, am/pm baggies.....whatever plan and they are all good ones.

when we get our bulk orders, i cut them into manageable sizes...about four types go into the refrigerator and my dogs eat off that until i begin to run out and then new stuff comes out to defrost...

but i'm terrible at guesstimating so i still weigh things...

i think how we arrange our dogs foods is irrelevant to whether or not she will feed henry raw without you there.....


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## SerenityFL (Sep 28, 2010)

BrownieM said:


> I'm almost finished with grad. school and pretty soon here I am going to move out of my parent's house (again - I used to live across the country). Anyway, ever since I started feeding raw, I have been feeding my parents' dog, Henry. My mom knows essentially nothing about the diet, has no desire to read up on it (she told me this) but she DOES enjoy the health benefits that she sees in Henry.
> 
> I would stay with my boyfriend much more frequently if I didn't always feel tied down to feeding my mom's dog (he can't come spend the night with me at my BF's, my mom would have a fit if he didn't sleep at the foot of her bed every night, understandably so.  )
> 
> ...


Three pages later I'm probably just repeating what someone or some others said but I think you may have answered your own question in your post.

If you know that she'll do pre-made, work on that the most. It's way better than kibble.

You may gently inform her about the necessity for bone but, honestly, if she is not in to it, keep in mind, it's her dog, she feeds how she wants. At least get to the pre-made. 

You know her better than we do, (obvious statement), so if you know that she is adamantly against feeding bones or learning more about it, you're just going to have to sit back and accept what she does with her dog. Like I said, if you know that she WILL feed pre made, focus on that.


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## SerenityFL (Sep 28, 2010)

Meh, should have read the rest of it before replying. I'm not going to edit above...as a lesson to myself.

Ok, with the new information:

Things that stood out - she knows it's working and wants best for her dog

It sounds like she actually IS willing to try it. (I did not gather that from the first post.)

It doesn't have to be hard and if it does turn out to be too much, you can always end it with, "If this doesn't work, at least go to pre-made before kibble."

The only "hard" part, time consuming part, should be once a month. If you want, you can even email her a shopping list and quantity list since you are old school knowledge on the diet. (Meaning, you have the experience.)

You could, once a month email and give her a menu to follow and tell her how much of what to get when she goes to the store or to order.

To make things even simpler, I'd get enough containers for a month. Really.

Label the containers, M, T, W, Th, F, S, Su or however you or she wants to label them.

Now, she has all this food...overwhelming! Yes. But it's a one time thing for a month.

With scale in hand, knife at the ready, meat on the cutting board, have her divide each day's meal, according to what the dog should get and how much, and place that days meal in a container.

Repeat for 30 days.

Put all in the freezer with exception of the first two meals; put those in the fridge since dinner isn't long off.

That way, when she is ready to feed the dog, she just pulls the container out of the fridge, drops it in his bowl, he eats, bowl and container washed, done. Easy peasy!

Once she starts getting the hang of it, she'll be able to do this on her own but still come to you for advice or questions or concerns.

I'd tell her about the 80/10/10. I'd tell her about the benefits to the teeth, coat, overall appearance and health, (you now have evidence to back you up). I'd tell her what is in kibble. I'd tell her that pre-made, while better, isn't necessarily the best, either.

It sounds to me like she is willing to learn it but doesn't want it to be difficult and trust me, even after 8 months of doing this, there are times when I think, "Sigh, just pouring their food in to a bowl would be so much easier, I'm so tired, I just want to go to bed...." That IS a hard thing for some to get past so if she sees that it's one day of work, the rest of the month is just as easy as feeding kibble, (because she's already prepped it), and she continues to see her dog looking good and having great health, she might think that one day a month isn't so bad.

Simply advice...just because, and I'm NOT saying your mom is lazy, I'm saying I am, just because I am lazy and sometimes I really don't feel like going through all the effort....even though I do...so I do understand going to something that is easier when it seems too much.

Obviously this can be overwhelming, we have an entire area on the forum about it...we continue to learn even after months of doing it...the simpler it is for her, the more likely she will be to use it. Keep things simple. When she has processed the first steps, then, if she wants, you can get in to the nitty gritty of it all.


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## Boxers&Pom's Mom (Jan 17, 2011)

BrownieM said:


> Part of the problem is also the "getting of the meat". I meet My Pet Carnivore about 30 minutes from our house once a month. I'm not sure she would do this... I spend a few hours a month bagging meals. I'm not sure she'd do this... I'm the kind of person to devote abnormal amounts of time to something I am passionate about. She's not. I'm also the type of person to do go to whatever extreme is necessary to get things done. She's not, and honestly, most people aren't, ha ha.
> 
> I can just see myself feeling the need to bag food for her and drop it off once a month. Hell. No. , though. I just don't have time. Especially since I want to get another puppy once I move out.
> 
> ...


Will you live too far from your mom? I had offered my daughter to prepare Max's food if she goes raw, but she not even want to consider it. If I need to atay out of my house I will live my husband with ziplock bags marked by day. If it only one day, I will avoid bones and cut it in little pieces, so no chances of getting shock or something. I will love Max to get raw feed.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

is it also possible that she just adores the way henry looks and if she goes back to kibble, he goes back to bad breath and icky coat and the sixty million stools a day, etc......

and then she'll come around? : )


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## sassymaxmom (Dec 7, 2008)

I would have her pack up two day bins rather than one day bins. A bony bit, some organ and meat to make up the proper amount of ounces. 

Cut the organ into two day bits, the bony meat into two day bits and sitting in large bowls ready for action. Put bin on scale, tare it, add bony and organ then meaty stuff to measure. Next bin on the scale and repeat. I could do 20 pounds of 30 floppy baggies in an hour, this ought to be a whole lot faster and easier.

Just feed chicken for bone and you know how big those bits need to be, right? Don't worry about which organ goes where or which meat goes where. Feed chicken with the organ in the bin and maybe some more meat one day and finish the bin the following day.

Not a fan of huge amounts of organ at a time unless it is worked up to slowly. If you want to do that start working on it now.


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## RachelsaurusRexU (Sep 4, 2010)

Is she currently involved in the bulk ordering and packaging process? I'd get her into helping you with that while you're still there. After a few times she'll see how easy it really can be. She'll also have an opportunity to think about which method of packaging/labeling will be easiest and most convenient for her and the two of you can work out the logistics of that together. I think you should try to ease her into really being involved with it all now. She may just end up feeling overwhelmed if she starts doing it on her own after you've already left.


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