# I'm feeling so depressed.. what did you do to overcome a sudden tragic dog death?



## BrittanyM (Jan 28, 2012)

Since little Kaeto passed away this week, I have become increasingly depressed, although it has only been 3 days I feel like I am becoming more and more like a zombie. When I come home I am in overwhelming grief which literally cripples me.

I can't wrap my head around it and although I have accepted it, I still find myself thinking he will be in the other room when I open the door (so I have not completely accepted it..). 
Kiya still needs us and I am having a hard time being a good dog mother to her. I keep kicking myself for acting so rashly and not calling my breeder, and I am furious because the emergency vet we saw created such an urgency about the surgery but upon picking him up with a splint the next day a vet technician discharged us with very little follow up information. We realized upon calling them they left a cathater in his other arm even though they knew we were not decided on surgery from the night before. This created such an urgency that we were not thinking and frantically started researching vets to do the procedure without consulting our breeder first, and this decision led to the death of Kaeto. It is really really hard to forgive myself for this, I can't stop blaming myself for not using my head, the cathater really threw us off into making a rash decision in which we are now emotionally devastated.

For ANYONE with a dog under 10 pounds, please read this email from my breeder- she has been breeding papillons for over 20 years and goes to small breed seminars on a yearly basis. She is really educated in paps, maltese, and small breeds in general.

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From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Kaeto (PLEASE READ THIS FIRST)
Date: Wed, 9 May 2012 21:01:06 -0700







Hi Robin,

We have some very upsetting news, both of us are very heartbroken as I write this.
On Monday Kaeto and Kiya were playing and he jumped up onto the arm rest and slipped, he fell awkwardly and broke his leg.
We took him to an emergency 24/7 vet who ran x rays and he was diagnosed with a transverse fracture on his front right femur. (attached is the x ray)They gave him a splint and a cathater to administer a mild sedative and pain relief medicine. After the diagnosis and over night stay, they reccomended that we get orthopaedic surgery immediately or sooner rather than later.

We located an orthopaedic surgeon whom had a website with photos of their treatments provided, and they seemed well qualified and capable. Donlands Animal Hospital, vet clinic
Kaeto was put under on isophlorane we made sure of that, and the procedure itself was a success but afterwards when the procedure was done he apparently snapped his head up, alert, and started panting erraticly, eventually collapsing... the vet attempted to revive him but he was unable to be revived. We have been in contact with the vet and he is consulting with colleagues to try and determine what could go wrong. Evan will be forwarding an email from today between him and the vet so you can read it, and we will be contacting the other clinic- we have a sheet with the name of the pain reliever but not the sedative used or dosage. We feel so much regret that we did not give Kaeto an extra day to rest, the first clinic left the cathater in and urged us to get surgery fast, but I think we may have acted to hastily although we were trying to act in his best interests..
Approximately 7pm EST we lost Kaeto after his short but brilliant time with us.

As of right now we are completely devastated by his loss, we thought we were doing what was right for him because we wanted him to make a full recovery. Even with the splint on for the day before the surgery he was in bright spirits. Kaeto made Kiya such a different dog, and they were perfect companions for one another. We loved him dearly, and we cannot believe he is gone so quick. Right now we are living hell on earth, but we thought it is only fair to let you guys know what has happened. We are so sorry for his loss. We gave him a beautiful burial today at Evan's family home in Grimsby.

We are in too much pain and grief right now to consider another dog, but we want Kiya to have a companion, and we probably would like to get her another male papillon companion before the summer is out. We feel absolutely terrible about the accident but we usually were very good with supervision and not allowing them to have access to high places such as arm rests.. I was not home and Evan went to check his email and it all happened so quickly. We hope you do not lose faith in us because we absolutely loved Kaeto and we would really like to get our pap from you guys over anyone else, he was a beautifully tempered puppy and a great companion, we will never forget the joy he gave us in only about 6 weeks with us. We would take him and Kiya to the local parks and they made quite a few friends, and made fantastic impressions on people that saw them.

We have enclosed a few pictures so you guys can at least see he was happy, and his passing as we understand it was relatively quick and painless.
Please any questions feel free to email or call me.

-Brittany




Ah man - I am very sorry to hear about this happening to little Kaeto :-( it is truly unbelieveable.



I wish you would have given us a call :-(




I have to wonder if all that treatment was even necessary (all the surgeries) - we had a couple papillons break their legs over the last 20 yrs (two in total) and all my vet did was xray and then put the leg in a cast. The legs healed well.




I would also question that "propothol"??? (spelling) that the vets used on him. If memory serves me right we had a small papillon girl that someone else had purchased and taken in to be spayed that died in almost the same way. She made it through the surgery only to pass away afterwards and that clinic had also used a product on her that I was not familiar with at all.




I'm pretty sure that my vet never uses that on my dogs but I'm going to call them tomorrow to find out. I just feel that too much was done to him in such a short time plus the anesthetic used that he may not have been able to be stablized due to his smaller size. It is very sad :-(




At any rate its very sad that this happened and I can only imagine the grief you are going through at the moment :-( actually I can understand because having raised the toy breeds for over 20 yrs we have ended up with a few tragedies of our own and as each dog is a special little individual its devastating when you lose one under such unexpected circumstances ;-(




But for sure you can keep in touch with me should you consider you still want another companion for Kiya - I do know that accidents can and will happen no matter how much you try to prevent them although it is still hard to believe this had happened to Kaeto especially since he was also our very special one :-(




Please let me know if the vets say anything else to you.




Again, very sorry for your loss.




Robin




Please, share stories and coping strategies, the support of anyone is really helpful to me, as I try to make sense of all of this. 

Also, in your opinion Kiya really thrived from having a pack member and companion, we want to give a couple weeks to properly grieve for Kaeto but how long should we really wait to give her a new one, we want a new little boy because it is beneficial for Kiya.

Thanks everyone.


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## xellil (Apr 4, 2011)

Unfortunately Brittany, the only thing is time. Just give it some time. 

you can't go back over and over in your head and what if yourself. You did what the vets recommended, because you wanted to do what was best. I'm sure you never in a million years thought the breeder would have different advice. 

I don't know about another dog right now. You say are not being a great mom to Kiya because you are grieving. Perhaps you should wait until you are ready. That is different for everyone but it doesn't sound to me like bringing another dog into the house to replace Kaeto right now would be a good environment for a new puppy.


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## Makovach (Jan 24, 2012)

I'm really sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to relate to your loss. 

The closest I came to a loss was having to rehome Nalah and Bella. I grieved over it terribly, and to help myself and Annie, we spent extra time together. We went for extra walks and spent extra time playing and doing fun activities. 

Maybe this would help?
Coping with Pet Loss: Grieving the Death of a Dog or Cat

Again I am very sorry for your loss  Hugs to you and your family.


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## Liz (Sep 27, 2010)

Brittany - I am sorry for you. I would definitely wait until you have had time to grieve, time to forgive yourself for decision made and are happy with your one pup. You will then start looking forward to adding another special boy to your home but if you move too soon you will end up buying a replacement and even though you know that is not possible your heart will try to replace him. Wait as long as it takes to really want an individual not a replacement. I am sorry and have been in your place losing a valued and adored dog way too soon.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

stories are not what you need....

what you need is to cry and scream and rant....about how unfair this is.

take a few days to grieve...take as long as you need, but grieve...turn on sappy sad movies. play sad songs.

be angry. in the end, your baby is gone.

and it's your choice as to how long you wait. it could be tomorrow, two weeks or two years. your call.

i would be surprised if you were not depressed especially when it's unexpected. 

it feels like a blindside.....a come from behind hit. and that's what it is.

eventually, you will look upon this time with a sad poignancy....but not now and not until you are ready.


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## Dude and Bucks Mamma (May 14, 2011)

I have to agree with Re. 

Stories will help you feel like you are not alone but... you already know that. We have all lost a dog at some point whether it be from old age or sudden. 

Don't keep it bottled in. Put Kiya somewhere quiet for a while and go let it all out. When you feel like you have gotten some of your anger, frustration, and guilt out, go get Kiya and snuggle with her. You still have her with you and she is as confused over all of this as you are. You are both feeling it so grieve together.


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your devastating loss. I can't even comprehend how you must feel right now....my thoughts are with you. 

In regards to propofol: its actually one of the safer pre-anesthetic injections used for induction (getting a dog under). It is rarely used to sustain anesthesia...isoflurane gas is most commonly used to sustain the effect through a surgery. Propofol is used on patients that are higher risk because it doesn't have as many side effects as some of the other drugs out there. At least this is from my experience. I don't know if there is something about using it on Papillons that would cause an adverse side effect, sort of like Boxers and acepromazine. But to be certain of what really happened a necropsy would have to have been done. 

But at this point, I wouldn't focus on all that. Focus on the memories of him. Snuggle little Kiya. Grieve and cry...and don't forget that we are here for you when you need us!


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## lauren43 (Feb 6, 2011)

For me personally getting another dog was the only option. Granted at the time we only had one dog, but it was just soo difficult to come home to an empty house with no one to greet you, or pick up the crumbs when you dropped them, you know all the little things we take for granted.

Ok I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. Growing up I always, always wanted a dog but my parents were not dog people. So finally in 7th grade my mom brought home a puppy, a 6 week old maltese/shih tzu mix and we named him Rolly. God I loved that dog, I think there is always something special about your first dog. Anyway, Rolly was seemingly healthy for four years, he had regular vet visits, nothing irregular ever surfaced. Until one summer night probably a week before his 4th birthday he woke me with this inward sneezing that he couldn't control. We rushed him to the e-vet and of course we get in there and he stopped, the vet saw nothing wrong with him. When we got home he started up again...To make a long story short Rolly was in and out of the vet nearly everyday for a week, we got many diagnosis's but no real answers, but I truly believed he would get better. That Friday my parents made the decision to have Rolly PTS (a lot happened in between possibly some foul play on the vets side of things and we'll never really know what went wrong but I'm trying to keep this short), I don't think I understood how sick he was but for me this was a complete shock. 

So Rolly died the last week of July 2003 and we got Tess the First week of Sept 2003. I do not regret this decision one bit. We did compare them a little at the beginning but that soon faded, they were/are both completely different dogs. Tess could never replace Rolly but she did fill the missing spot in our lives and I would not trade her for the world. 

Of course this is how I coped with the sudden loss of my dog, everyone copes differently. Take your time, let yourself heal.

This was Rolly, what a tolerant little dog. He was very smart too.











This is Tess. They don't look alike or anything?


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## DDBsR4Me (Jan 23, 2012)

Definitely take the time to grieve and know that it is just going to take time. 

I just lost my 8yr old female unexpectedly to gastric torsion about 6 weeks ago. 

Probably one thing that has helped me out is focusing on my other dog - I know he was grieving so I have tried to give him more attention and make more of an effort to do things with him and take him places. 

Unfortunately there is no magic cure....time is what you need.


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## nfedyk (Jan 13, 2012)

Reading this just breaks my heart as we too have a papillon. I agree that time heals all wounds. And give Kiya lots of extra love. She needs it too.


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