# Trail of Terror



## Donna Little

My little old Madison wanted to wander around a bit a while ago so I opened up the x-pen she sleeps in and she went running through the bedroom with her little rocking horse gait and I thought, "She is just the cutest thing and I really need to get her on video." But she went around the corner into the other room before I could get the camera turned on and then I could hear that she'd stopped so I kept watching TV. A minute later I heard her drinking and she came back into the room. 
And then I could see *it* in the light shining from the kitchen.... A line of something every time her tail hit the ground. Aaagggg, it was poop, and it was EVERYWHERE.  She had exploded right in the doorway to the bedroom, stepped in it, dipped her tail in it, and then walked around the entire island in the kitchen and back into the bedroom stepping in it again for round two. It's one of those times when I don't even know where to start. And I have 11 other dogs running from different rooms to see what's going on! I just had to pick her up and hold her away from me to stop her from spreading the trail any further, gather all the other nosy beasts and close them in the rubber room (AKA dog room) and give her yet *another* bath. She got one yesterday because she peed all over herself. 
And wasn't I just thinking how cute she was? I need a dog nanny... No, really, can I have one? :help:


----------



## magicre

Donna Little said:


> My little old Madison wanted to wander around a bit a while ago so I opened up the x-pen she sleeps in and she went running through the bedroom with her little rocking horse gait and I thought, "She is just the cutest thing and I really need to get her on video." But she went around the corner into the other room before I could get the camera turned on and then I could hear that she'd stopped so I kept watching TV. A minute later I heard her drinking and she came back into the room.
> And then I could see *it* in the light shining from the kitchen.... A line of something every time her tail hit the ground. Aaagggg, it was poop, and it was EVERYWHERE.  She had exploded right in the doorway to the bedroom, stepped in it, dipped her tail in it, and then walked around the entire island in the kitchen and back into the bedroom stepping in it again for round two. It's one of those times when I don't even know where to start. And I have 11 other dogs running from different rooms to see what's going on! I just had to pick her up and hold her away from me to stop her from spreading the trail any further, gather all the other nosy beasts and close them in the rubber room (AKA dog room) and give her yet *another* bath. She got one yesterday because she peed all over herself.
> And wasn't I just thinking how cute she was? I need a dog nanny... No, really, can I have one? :help:


i feel your pain.....how old is she?

malia just came in and wiped her not so clean butt all over the carpet and the blankie i washed yesterday from bubba and his vomit.

explain to me again why it is we have dogs?


----------



## hmbutler

Haha sounds like fun!! I bet there is never a dull moment in your place huh? :lol:

Sounds like my friends toddler, when she was little, had learnt to walk and she first worked out how to pull her nappy off... she pulled it off, got runny poop all over her hands and feet and go halflway through the house touching walls, furniture etc before her mum caught her and stopped her lol. Hilarious for me, probably not so much for her haha


----------



## xchairity_casex

you can always tell a non pet or kid person when you mention poop and they give you a look like "OMG"
my boyfreind is one of those people when cesar started raw and i was all excited about his poo being solid he was like "can we not talk about this ever again?"

we used to have a very very old dog who had problems with constipation and often times would have to go outside "help" her ti was a nasty job but it had to be done prunes jsut didnt work.

or cesar will eat hair off the rug then he tries to poop it out but it jsut hangs there and he runs in circles like" OMG GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" and once he even began whining till i had to go help him damn dogs


----------



## bridget246

My current problems aren't so bad. They aren't that bad at all. In fact... I'll go back to my current problem and will live the rest of my life peacefully and content that I've not experienced the majority of the problems posted here.


----------



## xellil

I feel lucky the only time I had a real problem was when I gave Rebel salmon the first time - he had explosive diarrhea all over the kitchen and then he and Snorkels walked through it and all over the house while I was taking a nap on the couch. The smell woke me up. I just wanted to get a firehose and blow it (and the house) away. 

Of course, I didn't have eleven other dogs tracking it around - it could have been worse!


----------



## BoxerParty

xchairity_casex said:


> you can always tell a non pet or kid person when you mention poop and they give you a look like "OMG"
> my boyfreind is one of those people when cesar started raw and i was all excited about his poo being solid he was like "can we not talk about this ever again?"
> 
> we used to have a very very old dog who had problems with constipation and often times would have to go outside "help" her ti was a nasty job but it had to be done prunes jsut didnt work.
> 
> or cesar will eat hair off the rug then he tries to poop it out but it jsut hangs there and he runs in circles like" OMG GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" and once he even began whining till i had to go help him damn dogs


SERIOUSLY. I gave my pups liver for the first time this morning, and totally almost took a picture of their solid poop this afternoon as evidence of their awesomeness.

I'm impressed that my dogs are good at POOPING. What is my life coming to?


----------



## wolfsnaps88

Ugh, Sorry to hear. What do you use to clean it up? I had Sarge puking everywhere the other day and Dozer and Otis (my cat) were trying to eat it as I was cleaning it up. Blech. 

Why do dogs insist on tap dancing in their own poop?

She is still cute though, regardless of what comes out of her butt and what she does with it


----------



## Sprocket

Aww poor little Madison! It's usually right when you love them most that they hit you where it hurts


----------



## xchairity_casex

im not even botherd by poop how could i be? ive had animals in my life since i was a kid when i was 5 years old we lived near a cow pasture me and my sister would lght dry cow patties on fire then the "wet ones" were thrown at each other we painted the owners chicken coop with cow crap we found some old brushes and got the entire thing coverd.

i rember when i was about 4 years old me and my sister spent the night at my grandmas house my grandma had a huge nice house and we insisted on bringing our brand new beagle puppy prince and brand new kitten oreo with us my grandma made us sleep in the furnished basement with them(you couldnt tell it was a basement it was so nice) well that of coarse was thee perfect time for our new babys to get sick litterly im NOT even joking
the cat would run to the corner and explode diarehha everywhere then the puppy would go pee somewhere then poop also runnies then the kitten would again then the puppy! me and my sister were up all night cleaning up after them and my grandma could DEFF smell them the next morning! i was 4 my sister was 8 my grandma never allowed us to bring our pets over again. what a fiasco that night was i always bring it up with my sister and we have a good laugh about it though


----------



## wolfsnaps88

The poop of an herbivore is more tolerable to me than a omnivore or carnivore. I think human poop is the worst! One of the reasons I bailed on nursing school. 

It is late at night and I am talking about poop. Sigh.....lol


----------



## magicre

wolfsnaps88 said:


> Ugh, Sorry to hear. What do you use to clean it up? I had Sarge puking everywhere the other day and Dozer and Otis (my cat) were trying to eat it as I was cleaning it up. Blech.
> 
> Why do dogs insist on tap dancing in their own poop?
> 
> She is still cute though, regardless of what comes out of her butt and what she does with it


we use a product called folex. it's worked better than anything else. first i soak the area with water, then spray the folex, rub it into the carpet and voila. it's gone.

now i'm washing the blankets that i washed yesterday from bubba's puking. 

so much fun.

emma.....you're in a world of poo now. embrace it.


----------



## hmbutler

Hahaha, reading this thread and then I notice the ads at the top of my page were for carpet cleaning companies :lol: the internet is too smart for its own good sometimes...


----------



## Dude and Bucks Mamma

Dude did this to us twice. In the beginning, he got up in the middle of the night and wandered. Sometimes he just does this and letting him out to pee just gets us the "What are we doing outside?" stare. He refuses to sleep on the same bed as Buck so it is usually just him being evicted from his bed. This time though, I just brushed it off as a bed stealing incident and next thing I hear is gassy cannon butt all over my wall and carpet. The smell made us sleep on the couch for the rest of the night until the air in their cleared out. 

The second time was after he had been in the crate. We came home and let him out. Before we could get to the door to let him out he ran out to the living room and, once again, aimed his rear end at the point where the floor and wall connect but this time decided to try to walk towards the crazy woman yelling for him to stop.


----------



## Donna Little

Of all my dogs Madison seems to have the most sensitive stomach and I have just re-introduced liver so I was kind of expecting it. It wasn't watery but more like soft serve. There just happened to be a lot of it, and then there of course was the fact that she spread it high and low. She'll be 18 yrs old in 2 months so at this point she pretty much gets a free pass on anything she does.
None of my dogs are allowed on the carpet so it was the hardwood floor thankfully. I use a product called Basic G to clean with. It's actually made by the company Shaklee and I started using it because it'll kill parvo and isn't harsh like bleach. You never know when you'll have that from fostering puppies out of the pound. Puppies can walk on it when it's wet without worrying they'll burn their feet and I clean up after my butchering with it too.
A long time ago someone told me about cleaning with Listerine, the breath freshener. I keep a spray bottle of diluted Listerine under my kitchen sink and spray it on the floor after the initial clean up and then mop that up. It makes a nice fresh scent and kills germs too. I've never noticed it being sticky and will sometimes use it in the back room to wipe the fridge and freezer out with. Helps with the meaty smell.
Dogs, sometimes more fun that one person should have to handle.....


----------



## chowder

wolfsnaps88 said:


> Why do dogs insist on tap dancing in their own poop?


That's why we always had Chows. They do their business as far away as possible, cover it up with their back feet like a cat, and then literally RUN away from it like 'I didn't do that, not me!'. Lhasa's on the other hand, do the tap dancing in the poop. I didn't think we'd ever get the Lhasa's housebroken and then when they got old, right back to the tap dancing again!


----------



## xellil

i agree - I think Madison gets to do whatever she wants!


----------



## Donna Little

chowder said:


> That's why we always had Chows. They do their business as far away as possible, cover it up with their back feet like a cat, and then literally RUN away from it like 'I didn't do that, not me!'. Lhasa's on the other hand, do the tap dancing in the poop. I didn't think we'd ever get the Lhasa's housebroken and then when they got old, right back to the tap dancing again!


I've always been told Dachshunds were nearly impossible to housebreak but I've had 3 purebred doxies and all 3 were an absolute breeze to train. Madison was the best and would NEVER potty inside. When she hit about 16 was when she stopped being able to hold it and the first few times she had an accident in the house she seemed very confused and it was so sad. Now she has some dementia so is pretty clueless and the walking through the poop is a new and not so fun thing she's started to do. Getting old is hard... And apparently pretty messy....


----------



## xellil

Donna Little said:


> I've always been told Dachshunds were nearly impossible to housebreak but I've had 3 purebred doxies and all 3 were an absolute breeze to train. Madison was the best and would NEVER potty inside. When she hit about 16 was when she stopped being able to hold it and the first few times she had an accident in the house she seemed very confused and it was so sad. Now she has some dementia so is pretty clueless and the walking through the poop is a new and not so fun thing she's started to do. Getting old is hard... And apparently pretty messy....


Donna, snorkels peed in her sleep a couple of times right when we moved here and then it went away so I thought it was stress from the move. But she did it again yesterday. I'm taking a urine sample in today but I am wondering if she's starting to get a little incontinent from age. does Madison pee in her sleep?

And she's the most housebroken dog I've ever had - when it's horrible weather outside and I'm having to force Rebel off the porch, she will always get out there and pee.


----------



## Donna Little

xellil said:


> Donna, snorkels peed in her sleep a couple of times right when we moved here and then it went away so I thought it was stress from the move. But she did it again yesterday. I'm taking a urine sample in today but I am wondering if she's starting to get a little incontinent from age. does Madison pee in her sleep?
> 
> And she's the most housebroken dog I've ever had - when it's horrible weather outside and I'm having to force Rebel off the porch, she will always get out there and pee.


She pees in her sleep now several times a day. If she's sleeping, there's usually gonna be pee. 90% of my laundry is from Madison. Last night she slept from about 11 pm to 7:30. (I guess a good poop-a-thon will tire a girl out) and I fully expected her to be soaked. But NO! Yay. Not one drop. Now I'm sure we'll be washing blankets later today but after last nights torture it was nice to not wake up to that.
I also have 2 dogs that I've been boarding since last week and they're leaving today and I'll be glad to see them go. Very sweet little things but YAPPY! My dogs like to bark but these 2 will bark at anything and nothing. Looking forward to a quieter house for the next few days and then Mon I have another boarder that's a big barker too. Why do I do this to myself??


----------



## xellil

Donna Little said:


> She pees in her sleep now several times a day. If she's sleeping, there's usually gonna be pee. 90% of my laundry is from Madison. Last night she slept from about 11 pm to 7:30. (I guess a good poop-a-thon will tire a girl out) and I fully expected her to be soaked. But NO! Yay. Not one drop. Now I'm sure we'll be washing blankets later today but after last nights torture it was nice to not wake up to that.
> I also have 2 dogs that I've been boarding since last week and they're leaving today and I'll be glad to see them go. Very sweet little things but YAPPY! My dogs like to bark but these 2 will bark at anything and nothing. Looking forward to a quieter house for the next few days and then Mon I have another boarder that's a big barker too. Why do I do this to myself??


Thanks - I'll see if she's got an infection but since she's not peeing when she's awake I bet she doesn't. I kinda wonder if she has overdone physically - when we go out she runs pretty much constantly and I normally only let her do that every other day, but the weather has been nice so I've let her do it two days in a row. 

I forget sometimes when she's acting so young that she really is an old dog with arthritis, a bad ticker, and is really quite fragile. Of course, the body never forgets  

But if she starts peeing in her sleep I'll have to not put her on my BRAND NEW comforter again! At least it was so new and poofy it didn't go through to the sheets.

i know what you mean about yappy dogs. I have to admit, it's why I never wanted a small dog. It drives me absolutely nuts. And so many of them have these shrill barks that feels like an ice pick digging into your brain. Parker has that kind of high squeaky bark - thank goodness he doesn't bark really at all, I've only heard him yap once when he was anxious for supper.

So I know you will enjoy the peace and quiet this afternoon!


----------



## Donna Little

xellil said:


> Thanks - I'll see if she's got an infection but since she's not peeing when she's awake I bet she doesn't. I kinda wonder if she has overdone physically - when we go out she runs pretty much constantly and I normally only let her do that every other day, but the weather has been nice so I've let her do it two days in a row.
> 
> I forget sometimes when she's acting so young that she really is an old dog with arthritis, a bad ticker, and is really quite fragile. Of course, the body never forgets
> 
> But if she starts peeing in her sleep I'll have to not put her on my BRAND NEW comforter again! At least it was so new and poofy it didn't go through to the sheets.
> 
> i know what you mean about yappy dogs. I have to admit, it's why I never wanted a small dog. It drives me absolutely nuts. And so many of them have these shrill barks that feels like an ice pick digging into your brain. Parker has that kind of high squeaky bark - thank goodness he doesn't bark really at all, I've only heard him yap once when he was anxious for supper.
> 
> So I know you will enjoy the peace and quiet this afternoon!


It's so much fun to wash and dry a huge comforter isn't it? 
And Nat, my tiny bald girl has that bark. It is the absolute highest pitch I've ever heard come out of a dog and will literally hit the middle of my brain. 
I've had a muscle twitching under one of my eyes off and on for the last week. Between Bailey's eye, the yappy boarders, Madison peeing and pooping, and general things that I have to do on a daily basis I can't imagine why?? :twitch:
And speaking of which, it's time to get off my arse and go do some laundry...


----------



## xellil

do you ever watch the Big Bang Theory? After I read your post, I thought of Sheldon and his twitching. So i definitely have an image of you in my head, twitching and washing!


----------



## Donna Little

xellil said:


> do you ever watch the Big Bang Theory? After I read your post, I thought of Sheldon and his twitching. So i definitely have an image of you in my head, twitching and washing!


Ha, ha! Yeah that's me. Twitching and cleaning!


----------



## magicre

sleep incontinence doesn't necessarily have to do with infection....although it's always worthy of a UA.

usually, it's age or an after effect of neutering. 

bubba had it before he was neutered and after for a while. 'course, he was raw then, not house trained at all.

it was strange, though...he'd be sleeping on honey or my chest and dead out....and suddenly we were wet..he had no idea.

once he was housetrained, he never did it again. thank the universe for belly bands...for male dogs...

i still have them, for when he gets old....stress incontinence is generally what it's called...


----------



## Donna Little

magicre said:


> sleep incontinence doesn't necessarily have to do with infection....although it's always worthy of a UA.
> 
> usually, it's age or an after effect of neutering.
> 
> bubba had it before he was neutered and after for a while. 'course, he was raw then, not house trained at all.
> 
> it was strange, though...he'd be sleeping on honey or my chest and dead out....and suddenly we were wet..he had no idea.
> 
> once he was housetrained, he never did it again. thank the universe for belly bands...for male dogs...
> 
> i still have them, for when he gets old....stress incontinence is generally what it's called...


Yeah, poor Mad is just an old lady and will be probably peeing on herself til she passes away. I thought about getting her on a med for incontinence and then decided I don't want her on anything unnecessary and at her age I'll just clean up after her and deal with it. 
And AMEN to the belly band comment. Toby gets to wear one on occasion because he's become a little bad boy and marks anything new which is not something I particularly enjoy so much...


----------



## chowder

Donna Little said:


> Yeah, poor Mad is just an old lady and will be probably peeing on herself til she passes away. I thought about getting her on a med for incontinence and then decided I don't want her on anything unnecessary and at her age I'll just clean up after her and deal with it.
> And AMEN to the belly band comment. Toby gets to wear one on occasion because he's become a little bad boy and marks anything new which is not something I particularly enjoy so much...


When Chelsy got really old and I knew for sure it wasn't a UTI, I would just put a diaper on her. She wore a baby size large (surprising because she was only a 15 pound dog). I got the generic baby ones and just cut a hole for the tail. It saved me a lot of washing and she actually felt a lot better with it on because she didn't have to feel guilty for peeing in the house or on me. Sometimes it would stay dry, and sometimes it would be wet, but overall we were all happier for her just to wear the diaper. (and she looked cute in it!).


----------



## xellil

OK I should probably not say this, but sometimes when I cough real hard or sneeze suddenly, I pee. 

Just getting old, me and Snorkels. Maybe we'll both be wearing diapers before too long.


----------



## magicre

xellil said:


> OK I should probably not say this, but sometimes when I cough real hard or sneeze suddenly, I pee.
> 
> Just getting old, me and Snorkels. Maybe we'll both be wearing diapers before too long.


why ever not....we talk about everything else.

there's a pretty simple procedure that can fix what you've got. it's a prolapse.

they go in and do it endoscopically...and simply repair the muscles that have loosened up a bit. 

it's called a bladder prolapse repair. and yeah, it's a childbirth and age thingie.


----------



## Donna Little

Well, I think we've covered all poo/pee related things and the only thing that would've made this thread better would have been photos of last nights poop-fest.... Next time maybe I'll be nice and share the fun...:wink:


----------



## xchairity_casex

xellil said:


> OK I should probably not say this, but sometimes when I cough real hard or sneeze suddenly, I pee.
> 
> Just getting old, me and Snorkels. Maybe we'll both be wearing diapers before too long.


just pick yourself up a pair of BEN WA balls they work great! of coarse you basically can only find them in a adult toy stores but they are basically vaginal weights used to tighten and tone the weakend pelvic floor muscles.


----------



## xellil

OK I knew I would be sorry I mentioned it! There is NO WAY in patootie I am going into an adult toy store  And the only time i get operated on is when I am in the ER and they tell me I'm going to die without it. 

If it gets bad I'll just buy Depends. It's only happened about five times in my life. Now, not only do I have this horrible vision of shopping in an x-rated store, but what you do with the things after you buy them.

Excuse me while I go die of embarrassment.


----------



## hmbutler

xellil said:


> OK I knew I would be sorry I mentioned it! There is NO WAY in patootie I am going into an adult toy store  And the only time i get operated on is when I am in the ER and they tell me I'm going to die without it.
> 
> If it gets bad I'll just buy Depends. It's only happened about five times in my life. *Now, not only do I have this horrible vision of shopping in an x-rated store,* but what you do with the things after you buy them.
> 
> Excuse me while I go die of embarrassment.


Don't worry, we all now just have a vision of you peeing every time you sneeze... we're all friends here... :lol:


----------



## chewice

Karma just kicked me in the bum. 

The bf and I had a good laugh at the story - and we came home to a nice size puddle of brown - and for some reason this thread was the first thing on my mind. Dangit.

AND the ben wa balls are amazing! Just order them online - it really does help with all that stuff. haha. (feels odd when they fall out though )


----------



## xellil

Wonder if I could get some Ben Wa balls for Snorkels.


----------



## Donna Little

xellil said:


> Wonder if I could get some Ben Wa balls for Snorkels.


Somehow this thread took a really strange turn huh? From diarrhea and incontinence to sex toys.... I'm gonna stop trying to make any kind of good connection here explain to my hubby why I'm laughing. Or not.... And hell, now I need to pee..


----------



## hmbutler

Donna Little said:


> Somehow this thread took a really strange turn huh? From diarrhea and incontinence to sex toys.... I'm gonna stop trying to make any kind of good connection here explain to my hubby why I'm laughing. Or not.... And hell, now I need to pee..


Ha, I needed to pee a little while ago, and thought to myself "better not sneeze, who knows what might happen" haha :lol:


----------



## xellil

hmbutler said:


> Ha, I needed to pee a little while ago, and thought to myself "better not sneeze, who knows what might happen" haha :lol:


you just wait about 30 years


----------



## BoxerParty

xellil said:


> OK I knew I would be sorry I mentioned it! There is NO WAY in patootie I am going into an adult toy store  And the only time i get operated on is when I am in the ER and they tell me I'm going to die without it.
> 
> If it gets bad I'll just buy Depends. It's only happened about five times in my life. Now, not only do I have this horrible vision of shopping in an x-rated store, but what you do with the things after you buy them.
> 
> Excuse me while I go die of embarrassment.



You can always buy them online. That's how all the cool kids are getting their adult toys these days. :wink:


----------



## xchairity_casex

yes buy some they are soo worth it!
there just some large marble sized balls you insert then use your pelvic floor muscles to "hold" them in while you walk around when i first got mine i could only sit down for the first week while having them in toehrwise they would fall out on there own from gravity then i was able to hold them in for 30 minutes then logner and longer till i could wear them all day including while going for walks around town.

youll find your able to remove a tampon without useing your hands and if you get as good as me youll be able to hld a 1 pound weight with your lady parts 
HAHAHA


----------



## magicre

power went out last night and now i'm reading about ben wa balls? 

LOL


----------



## liquid

Well, this was a fun thread! ound:


----------



## Donna Little

It did get a little crazy didn't it?! When I think about the original post and then the last few... Poop... Sex toys... These are not things that go well together IMO. But they are things that make you go, "Hmmm..." :wink:


----------



## xellil

I think I am just speechless. I promise to never, ever, ever mention peeing and sneezing in the same sentence again.


----------



## Donna Little

xellil said:


> I think I am just speechless. I promise to never, ever, ever mention peeing and sneezing in the same sentence again.


Oh the cat's outta the bag now....:becky:


----------



## chowder

Donna Little said:


> Somehow this thread took a really strange turn huh? From diarrhea and incontinence to sex toys.... I'm gonna stop trying to make any kind of good connection here explain to my hubby why I'm laughing. Or not.... And hell, now I need to pee..


I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face from laughing and my husband's asking 'what's going on over there now?". There's no way I'm gonna explain this thread him. :rofl:


----------



## xellil

chowder said:


> I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face from laughing and my husband's asking 'what's going on over there now?". There's no way I'm gonna explain this thread him. :rofl:


Oh Lord, me either. I'm afraid he'd be out there buying me Ben Wa balls.


----------



## Donna Little

xellil said:


> Oh Lord, me either. I'm afraid he'd be out there buying me Ben Wa balls.


Next time he and Snorkels go for a little ride that's where they'll be headed...:wink:


----------



## Sprocket

BoxerParty said:


> You can always buy them online. That's how all the cool kids are getting their adult toys these days. :wink:


Nuh uh! We buy them at Passion Parties! Cool kids have friends and go to parties :tongue:


----------



## chowder

Sprocket said:


> Nuh uh! We buy them at Passion Parties! Cool kids have friends and go to parties :tongue:



Remember when we used to discuss dog food?


----------



## Donna Little

chowder said:


> Remember when we used to discuss dog food?


On behalf of all the people that participated in the downfall of this thread I issue an apology to any newbies for our inappropriate comments. If you must discuss or purchase Ben Wa balls, please run by your butcher shop and pick up some meat for the dogs at the same time. Or if nothing else, order meat online while your placing your sex toy purchase.
Yes, I feel that we're completely back on track now. :smile:


----------



## Sprocket

chowder said:


> Remember when we used to discuss dog food?


Yeah... Those were the days


----------



## BoxerParty

Sprocket said:


> Nuh uh! We buy them at Passion Parties! Cool kids have friends and go to parties :tongue:



So THAT'S what I've been doing wrong!

Notes to self:

1. Make friends
2. Attend parties
3. ...buy sex toys(?)
4. Buy meat for dogs ('cause, you know DOG FOOD Chat)


----------



## magicre

Donna Little said:


> Oh the cat's outta the bag now....:becky:


little too late to shut that barn door. 

chowder: when did we EVER stay on topic? 

donna.....and to all newbies...since the newbies are already on line, i'm quite sure ben wa balls can be used as play toys for tiny tiny dogs, or tiny tiny kitties or gerbils....

which makes it germane


----------



## Donna Little

magicre said:


> little too late to shut that barn door.
> 
> chowder: when did we EVER stay on topic?
> 
> donna.....and to all newbies...since the newbies are already on line, i'm quite sure ben wa balls can be used as play toys for tiny tiny dogs, or tiny tiny kitties or gerbils....
> 
> which makes it germane


Multi-tasking with ben wa balls... Who knew it could be done? :noidea:


----------



## xellil

Donna Little said:


> Multi-tasking with ben wa balls... Who knew it could be done? :noidea:


you can - just ask charity 

On the bright side, we didn't degenerate into arguing about the appropriate sex toy.


----------



## magicre

so....how 'bout dem yankees?

donna, how's your dog? no more trails? 

see? immediately back on track.


----------



## Dude and Bucks Mamma

I just found this and it made me cry. Hubby has no idea why I am laughing hysterically... I can't believe I missed all of this! He keeps looking at me like he is afraid I am going to pass out!

Xellil, I am with you. I am only 21 and can still never bring myself to go into an adult store! I have never been in one and I likely never will. And I, too, must be dying before I will have surgery.


----------



## xchairity_casex

adult toy stores arent waht they used to be! most of them now days are caterd towards women theres one a few hours away from me where ive been in many times and have never seen a guy in there they feel to uncomfortable due to all the womens products! this one i vist has lots of bath products and awsome body lotions and fluffy socks and bath salts things like that along with toys. i bought some edible body whip and flavored body powder makes you all sparkly and tastes yummy the whip i ended up sitting and eating it off my hand till it was all gone it was mango flavored and super good


----------



## magicre

Dude and Bucks Mamma said:


> I just found this and it made me cry. Hubby has no idea why I am laughing hysterically... I can't believe I missed all of this! He keeps looking at me like he is afraid I am going to pass out!
> 
> Xellil, I am with you. I am only 21 and can still never bring myself to go into an adult store! I have never been in one and I likely never will. And I, too, must be dying before I will have surgery.


you don't have to go in. ever. that's why al gore created the internet.


----------



## Donna Little

magicre said:


> you don't have to go in. ever. that's why al gore created the internet.


Well, I'd never been in an adult toy store either until recently. I went to have lunch with a friend and one of our mutual friends asked me to drive her there to pick up something. We won't even go into that. 
Anyway, I was walking around in there, probably with my mouth hanging open, wondering what the hell half of that stuff was for. And then I saw "The Butt Plug." I said to the girl with me, #1. Why? :noidea: and #2. That thing is huge.
The employee heard me and goes, "Oh, all the large ones are sold out. That's a medium." Seriously?! 
I can assure you, other than to possibly stop Madison from crapping in the floor, I see no use for a butt plug. :nono: I for one, will be perfectly fine staying out of the "toy store" for the rest of my life....


----------



## xellil

Donna Little said:


> Well, I'd never been in an adult toy store either until recently. I went to have lunch with a friend and one of our mutual friends asked me to drive her there to pick up something. We won't even go into that.
> Anyway, I was walking around in there, probably with my mouth hanging open, wondering what the hell half of that stuff was for. And then I saw "The Butt Plug." I said to the girl with me, #1. Why? :noidea: and #2. That thing is huge.
> The employee heard me and goes, "Oh, all the large ones are sold out. That's a medium." Seriously?!
> I can assure you, other than to possibly stop Madison from crapping in the floor, I see no use for a butt plug. :nono: I for one, will be perfectly fine staying out of the "toy store" for the rest of my life....


OK I'm not even going to let my mind wander into butt plug territory. That's a leeeeetle kinky, I suspect 

Did you put a bag over your head in case someone you knew saw you going in or out?


----------



## magicre

Donna Little said:


> Well, I'd never been in an adult toy store either until recently. I went to have lunch with a friend and one of our mutual friends asked me to drive her there to pick up something. We won't even go into that.
> Anyway, I was walking around in there, probably with my mouth hanging open, wondering what the hell half of that stuff was for. And then I saw "The Butt Plug." I said to the girl with me, #1. Why? :noidea: and #2. That thing is huge.
> The employee heard me and goes, "Oh, all the large ones are sold out. That's a medium." Seriously?!
> I can assure you, other than to possibly stop Madison from crapping in the floor, I see no use for a butt plug. :nono: I for one, will be perfectly fine staying out of the "toy store" for the rest of my life....


might help with the dogs, though. LOL

you really don't want me to tell you why anal plugs aka butt plugs can be erotic, do you? ROFL


----------



## BoxerParty

Donna Little said:


> Well, I'd never been in an adult toy store either until recently. I went to have lunch with a friend and one of our mutual friends asked me to drive her there to pick up something. We won't even go into that.
> Anyway, I was walking around in there, probably with my mouth hanging open, wondering what the hell half of that stuff was for. And then I saw "The Butt Plug." I said to the girl with me, #1. Why? :noidea: and #2. That thing is huge.
> The employee heard me and goes, "Oh, all the large ones are sold out. That's a medium." Seriously?!
> I can assure you, other than to possibly stop Madison from crapping in the floor, I see no use for a butt plug. :nono:



I believe those are more popular among gay men.


And they'd likely have the opposite effect as the ben-wa balls... :noidea:


I'd keep them out of the dogs - no need for there to be ACTUAL projectiles involved in the cannon butt extravaganza. :rofl:


----------



## xchairity_casex

seems strange to me i suppose to talk to other people who are uncomfortable with this kind of stuff i grew up in a household where s-e-x was open for disscussion though i lived in an all female household also.
ive got books (NOT porn) and i always look at the adult catalogs plus i disscuss things ive tried to other women on an adult forum for women.
mostly i enjoy talking to younger ladies who dont know very much about sex and think looseing there V-card is all unicorns,butterflys and romance to that dumb-ass 17 year old promising them the world so long as they sleep with them.
i try to educate about safe sex and i have reccomended to younger girls to buy a vibrator or toy INSTEAD of sleeping around with sleezy lieing teenage boys.


----------



## xellil

xchairity_casex said:


> seems strange to me i suppose to talk to other people who are uncomfortable with this kind of stuff i grew up in a household where s-e-x was open for disscussion though i lived in an all female household also.
> ive got books (NOT porn) and i always look at the adult catalogs plus i disscuss things ive tried to other women on an adult forum for women.
> mostly i enjoy talking to younger ladies who dont know very much about sex and think looseing there V-card is all unicorns,butterflys and romance to that dumb-ass 17 year old promising them the world so long as they sleep with them.
> i try to educate about safe sex and i have reccomended to younger girls to buy a vibrator or toy INSTEAD of sleeping around with sleezy lieing teenage boys.


I will admit that was not a topic we discussed at home much. I remember when I was 13 and my mother pulled out a book to teach me the birds and the bees and we were both horribly embarrassed. Gotta give her credit for trying, but she was raised in a different era. I guess I was too!

And back to topic, i finally managed to blow out Parker. He just had cannon butt all over the place, and then rubbed his messy rear on my good dining room rug while i was getting paper towels.


----------



## BoxerParty

xchairity_casex said:


> seems strange to me i suppose to talk to other people who are uncomfortable with this kind of stuff i grew up in a household where s-e-x was open for disscussion though i lived in an all female household also.
> ive got books (NOT porn) and i always look at the adult catalogs plus i disscuss things ive tried to other women on an adult forum for women.
> mostly i enjoy talking to younger ladies who dont know very much about sex and think looseing there V-card is all unicorns,butterflys and romance to that dumb-ass 17 year old promising them the world so long as they sleep with them.
> i try to educate about safe sex and i have reccomended to younger girls to buy a vibrator or toy INSTEAD of sleeping around with sleezy lieing teenage boys.




That is the exact opposite of my family!  My mom is a doctor, and her sister was a high-ranking exec at Planned Parenthood (has since retired early), and my own oldest sister (18 years older than me) was a counsellor with Planned Parenthood when I was in elementary school.

We talked about sex. A lot. We talked about sex toys and masturbation and contraception and abortions. We talked about choosing the right sex partners and not succumbing to pressures to have sex from friends, boyfriends, or anyone else. 

I am extremely grateful for my open and sex-positive upbringing, because it meant that I have always felt that I had control over my own sexuality. 


Charity, I'm so glad to hear that you're trying to give good, honest info to younger girls.  Keeping this kind of talk "private" is an understandable impulse - it's an uncomfortable topic sometimes, and there are times and places for discussions about sex and sexuality - but if we keep information about sex hidden away, it becomes a source of shame AND it means that young people don't have the tools they need to make good choices for themselves.

So good on you. :clap2:



...oh, I suppose I should say something dog food-related: I'm considering giving The Wiggles each a duck head, just to give them a little extra fun in their lives.


----------



## chowder

xellil said:


> I will admit that was not a topic we discussed at home much. I remember when I was 13 and my mother pulled out a book to teach me the birds and the bees and we were both horribly embarrassed. Gotta give her credit for trying, but she was raised in a different era. I guess I was too!
> 
> And back to topic, i finally managed to blow out Parker. He just had cannon butt all over the place, and then rubbed his messy rear on my good dining room rug while i was getting paper towels.



This was the era I was raised in. The little book that came in the pack of Kotex and that was all the info you got. Kids today don't know how much easier they have it with the internet. They actually know what they are doing and even talk to each other about it! 

Dog food related ------- Parker sounds like he is becoming right at home in your house. He's a keeper!


----------



## xellil

chowder said:


> This was the era I was raised in. The little book that came in the pack of Kotex and that was all the info you got. Kids today don't know how much easier they have it with the internet. They actually know what they are doing and even talk to each other about it!
> 
> Dog food related ------- Parker sounds like he is becoming right at home in your house. He's a keeper!


yes and the only reason she pulled out the book was because I had a quite weird friend who gave me a giant box of Kotex at my 13th birthday party and I had no idea what it was. Huge embarrassment was had by ALL!


----------



## magicre

BoxerParty said:


> I believe those are more popular among gay men.
> 
> 
> And they'd likely have the opposite effect as the ben-wa balls... :noidea:
> 
> 
> I'd keep them out of the dogs - no need for there to be ACTUAL projectiles involved in the cannon butt extravaganza. :rofl:


and how would you be knowing that anal plugs are more 'in' with the gay crowd?

you don't think women might like them, too? 

just sayin'....LOL

OMG. we cannot start any thread without going down this road.....it's hilarious.


----------



## magicre

chowder said:


> This was the era I was raised in. The little book that came in the pack of Kotex and that was all the info you got. Kids today don't know how much easier they have it with the internet. They actually know what they are doing and even talk to each other about it!
> 
> Dog food related ------- Parker sounds like he is becoming right at home in your house. He's a keeper!


you got a book? i was in university before i learned that babies did not come out of my belly button. admittedly i started early, but still. my mother said nada.

sometimes i think kids are learning a wee too much on the internet...there isn't a parent alive, i bet, who wouldn't want some of those filters to actually work, instead of their children learning the end around at such early ages....

the only way to protect our kids is to unplug the computer or sit next to them as they surf and unplug it when they are done.


----------



## xellil

magicre said:


> and how would you be knowing that anal plugs are more 'in' with the gay crowd?
> 
> you don't think women might like them, too?
> 
> just sayin'....LOL
> 
> OMG. we cannot start any thread without going down this road.....it's hilarious.


I think this thread is sex-cursed.


----------



## xchairity_casex

i think kids now days are learning too much crap about sex over the internet with the porn industry.
women and girls are learning that "its ok that guys call you names and humilitate and hurt you during sex lots of women do it" and boys and guys are learning "its ok to treat girls and women like crap becuase they enjoy it"
now im not against porn...well who am i kidding im against quite a bit of porn and the un realism about it im not against real porn that depicts real people really enjoying it.

sorry i know im a bit hung up on this whole s-e-x talk but like i said i talk alot about it with other people young women and girls who need answers to questions and who THINK sex is somthing then what it really is or smoetimes i talk to young men who also have NO clue about women.

these kids learning about sex are learning about it thru pornography movies which most of them just are not real women getting off by having a guy look at her is well....dumb.
and its sad! its sad becuase in a serious committed relationship sex is a HUGE part of it and when sex goes bad more often then not the whole relationship goes bad and it could all be prevented by teaching our kids what sex REALLY is about and what it REALLY is.
boys are confused becuase they think women want what porn shows women wanting and boys think if they arnt the "take control rough abusive masculine man" in the bedroom then they are not good enough woemn see porn and think "oh i have to be kinky and into all sorts of things like saying yes when i really want to say no" so the girls grow up unhappy thinking "this is what men want" and boys grow up unhappy becuase they think "this is what i HAVE to be"

a viscious cycle i try hard to educate and stop


----------



## Donna Little

Let me just say first of all, Madison would be so proud to have gotten this subject opened up by spreading a little diarrhea all over the kitchen and bedroom. That old gal is all about some good convo and education. AND btw, she's still a virgin... :shocked:
And even though I'm no spring chicken either (just shy of 49) I was raised in a pretty open environment when it came to sex too. 
And yet, I still see no need, not even if you're gay, not if your hair is gray, not even in the house, not ever with a mouse, to plug your ass. Just sayin'....:wink:


----------



## hmbutler

Hahahahahaha this thread is hilarious. Love it

As for how I learned about the birds and the bees - I vaguely remember, around 11 years old or so, asking my mum why the kids in class laughed when some kids called an "eraser" a "rubber" - I can only imagine now what was going through her head haha. So she gave me a book and I read it, I don't remember ever discussing it with her haha.

I don't have kids yet, but I will be glad to put off the sex talk for as long as possible haha


----------



## Dude and Bucks Mamma

BoxerParty said:


> That is the exact opposite of my family!  My mom is a doctor, and her sister was a high-ranking exec at Planned Parenthood (has since retired early), and my own oldest sister (18 years older than me) was a counsellor with Planned Parenthood when I was in elementary school.
> 
> We talked about sex. A lot. We talked about sex toys and masturbation and contraception and abortions. We talked about choosing the right sex partners and not succumbing to pressures to have sex from friends, boyfriends, or anyone else.
> 
> I am extremely grateful for my open and sex-positive upbringing, because it meant that I have always felt that I had control over my own sexuality.
> 
> Charity, I'm so glad to hear that you're trying to give good, honest info to younger girls.  Keeping this kind of talk "private" is an understandable impulse - it's an uncomfortable topic sometimes, and there are times and places for discussions about sex and sexuality - but if we keep information about sex hidden away, it becomes a source of shame AND it means that young people don't have the tools they need to make good choices for themselves.
> 
> So good on you. :clap2:
> 
> ...oh, I suppose I should say something dog food-related: I'm considering giving The Wiggles each a duck head, just to give them a little extra fun in their lives.


I grew up in a home where sex wasn't even mentioned in a positive light. I didn't have sex with my first boyfriend who I was with for nearly 5 years and my mom was constantly coming up to me asking me, "Have you guys had sex yet? It's ok if you have. I just want to make sure you two are being safe" but I can guarantee it was the kind of thing sneaky moms pull and I would bet money on it that, had I said yes, I would have been banned from seeing him regardless of my age. 

My mom was angry at me for having sex with Nick when we were engaged and I was almost 21. I have only ever had sex with two men. While I regret the first and wish that I hadn't done it, I am happy that I never turned into one of those girls who has a record number behind her.


----------



## NewYorkDogue

Okay, I admit it. I've been an official "lurker" on this thread. Have to say, this one is a classic; it should rise to the top of all DFC archives. 

Absolutely hilarious.

BTW, no sex talk when I was growing up. Learned stuff "on the streets," as they say...


----------



## xellil

Donna Little said:


> And yet, I still see no need, not even if you're gay, not if your hair is gray, not even in the house, not ever with a mouse, to plug your ass. Just sayin'....:wink:


That is infinitely quotable. May I copy it and put it on my fridge??


----------



## hmbutler

xellil said:


> That is infinitely quotable. May I copy it and put it on my fridge??


We should all put that in our forum signatures... haha


----------



## xellil

Dude and Bucks Mamma said:


> I grew up in a home where sex wasn't even mentioned in a positive light. I didn't have sex with my first boyfriend who I was with for nearly 5 years and my mom was constantly coming up to me asking me, "Have you guys had sex yet? It's ok if you have. I just want to make sure you two are being safe" but I can guarantee it was the kind of thing sneaky moms pull and I would bet money on it that, had I said yes, I would have been banned from seeing him regardless of my age.
> 
> My mom was angry at me for having sex with Nick when we were engaged and I was almost 21. I have only ever had sex with two men. While I regret the first and wish that I hadn't done it, I am happy that I never turned into one of those girls who has a record number behind her.


Many, many years after I graduated high school, the father of the "loose" girl in my class was arrested for child molestation with his granddaughter. i wish, wish, wish I had had some maturity and insight when I was 16/17/18 to understand that girls don't turn into teenage sluts for no reason.


----------



## xellil

hmbutler said:


> We should all put that in our forum signatures... haha


HAHAHAHA! Even better. You first


----------



## hmbutler

xellil said:


> HAHAHAHA! Even better. You first


Done :rofl: hahahahaha bet you didn't think I'd do it? Come on guys, get on board! haha :lol:


----------



## xellil

I gotta admit, Donna is one of the few people that can make me laugh out loud sitting at the computer. But I do believe this one tops them all.


----------



## Donna Little

OMG, now I'm laughing at myself! I just added a little something to the end of my signature now... :becky:


----------



## BoxerParty

magicre said:


> and how would you be knowing that anal plugs are more 'in' with the gay crowd?
> 
> you don't think women might like them, too?
> 
> just sayin'....LOL
> 
> OMG. we cannot start any thread without going down this road.....it's hilarious.



I know this because I have several friends who are, shall we say, enthusiastic sharers. :tongue:

I'm sure there are a great many women who enjoy butt plugs, and encourage them to continue to do so if it brings them pleasure. That being said, evolution provided me with a vagina, so I prefer that my ass remain "exit only". :biggrin:


----------



## magicre

OMG. you said vagina.

i feel like i'm in third grade.

donna, you make me laugh out loud.....too...so does xellil...

actually, i spend so much time on this forum, because most of the time i'm laughing.


----------



## xchairity_casex

BoxerParty said:


> I know this because I have several friends who are, shall we say, enthusiastic sharers. :tongue:
> 
> I'm sure there are a great many women who enjoy butt plugs, and encourage them to continue to do so if it brings them pleasure. That being said, evolution provided me with a vagina, so I prefer that my ass remain "exit only". :biggrin:


im not afraid to say im very much "plugged" 
my boyfreind and my sister consider me really "kinky" i really DONT i honestly kind of consider myself somewhat of a prude.

i have this book called boink! its a book about sex psycology and a great read very intresting! tons of little factoids about sex. like
did you know pig farmers in germany are taught the proper protocol for "stimulating" a female pig while artificially inseminating them? which includings rubbing there teets,bouncing ontop of them and massaging there ears.

i dunno if i could do somthing like that be a pig farmer who arouses his female pigs :shocked:


----------



## Donna Little

xchairity_casex said:


> im not afraid to say im very much "plugged"
> my boyfreind and my sister consider me really "kinky" i really DONT i honestly kind of consider myself somewhat of a prude.
> 
> i have this book called boink! its a book about sex psycology and a great read very intresting! tons of little factoids about sex. like
> did you know pig farmers in germany are taught the proper protocol for "stimulating" a female pig while artificially inseminating them? which includings rubbing there teets,bouncing ontop of them and massaging there ears.
> 
> i dunno if i could do somthing like that be a pig farmer who arouses his female pigs :shocked:


Yeah now that is something I can honestly say I've never heard. And really don't need a visual on in any capacity.... If that's part of farming and breeding pigs, I'm gonna say that'll never be in my future.


----------



## hmbutler

hahaha loving the signatures, glad to see it's catching on

Donna, yours needs to be in bold or something, needs to stand out more so no one misses it and thinks that you are, in fact, plugged...


----------



## Donna Little

hmbutler said:


> hahaha loving the signatures, glad to see it's catching on
> 
> Donna, yours needs to be in bold or something, needs to stand out more so no one misses it and thinks that you are, in fact, plugged...


I've gone to several different thread and there it is again and I just keep giggling.


----------



## xchairity_casex

the reason they stimulate them is becuase it produces larger healthier litters of piglets!

also did you know female cats have to mate more then once to become pregnant? they dont ovulate ntill after they have mated the reason? male cats penises have barbs all over it and the cat wont ovulate untill a male cats "barbs" rip some flesh out. the reason for the barbs in the first place? becuase females will mate more then once the penis has barbs to scrap out any seman from a previous male cat.

want another?
ladies ever wonder why when you get your paps you feel the sudden urge to bring your knees together? well its not due to modesty its a reflex from the cervix being touched in a certian way the reflex is there to protect the cervix from being damaged.


----------



## Sprocket

I  this forum


----------



## Donna Little

hmbutler said:


> Donna, yours needs to be in bold or something, needs to stand out more so no one misses it and thinks that you are, in fact, plugged...


There, changed it.


----------



## Donna Little

And what I really want to know is, has anyone peed their pants a little from laughing? :lol:


----------



## xchairity_casex

did you know porcipines mate like most other mamales and not face to face also baby porcipines are born with there quils


----------



## xellil

donna little said:


> i've gone to several different thread and there it is again and i just keep giggling.


*much much better!!!!*


----------



## xellil

Donna Little said:


> And what I really want to know is, has anyone peed their pants a little from laughing? :lol:


Absolutely not! Not me, no siree.


----------



## Sprocket

Donna Little said:


> And what I really want to know is, has anyone peed their pants a little from laughing? :lol:


I might...I really gotta pee (whiskey) and but I love the dinner I'm eating...decisions...


----------



## xellil

xchairity_casex said:


> did you know porcipines mate like most other mamales and not face to face also baby porcipines are born with there quils


I think baby hedgehogs are too, aren't they?


----------



## xchairity_casex

xellil said:


> I think baby hedgehogs are too, aren't they?


yup they are.

id you know frued believed that men develop odd desires when upon learning his mother doesnt have a penis so the first object he sees he replaces as his moms "new penis" thus he developes a strange desire toward that thing like if a boy is told or sees his mother doesnt have a penis then looks at lets say her foot or a shoe or the pet cat he will always be sexually aroused by that items becuase his mind is replaceing her nonexsistant penis for that object.

is this true NO it was however his theory


----------



## hmbutler

Donna Little said:


> And what I really want to know is, has anyone peed their pants a little from laughing? :lol:


no, but for the love of dog, do not sneeze as well!!


----------



## hmbutler

xellil said:


> Absolutely not! Not me, no siree.


well done... have you been using the ben wa balls?? :lol:


----------



## BoxerParty

Donna Little said:


> And what I really want to know is, has anyone peed their pants a little from laughing? :lol:




I am CRYING from laughing so hard, but I'm still managing to hold my pee...then again, I'm in my 20s and haven't popped out any tiny humans yet, so I'm sure my time will come...


----------



## Sprocket

hmbutler said:


> well done... have you been using the ben wa balls?? :lol:


No more balls!!


----------



## BoxerParty

Sprocket said:


> No more balls!!



I knew it! You hate balls! Just like Katherine Heigl: Katherine Heigl Hates Balls - YouTube


----------



## Sprocket

BoxerParty said:


> I knew it! You hate balls! Just like Katherine Heigl: Katherine Heigl Hates Balls - YouTube


I  balls! HAHAHAHA The bouncing kind...not the kind between thy man legs!!!! ewwwwww :tongue:

BAHAHAHAHAH "only 98% adorable and 2% dangly balls..." HAH AHAHA HAHHA


----------



## magicre

Donna Little said:


> And what I really want to know is, has anyone peed their pants a little from laughing? :lol:


only a little....i have got to get me some depends for when i'm on the forum


----------



## magicre

BoxerParty said:


> I am CRYING from laughing so hard, but I'm still managing to hold my pee...then again, I'm in my 20s and haven't popped out any tiny humans yet, so I'm sure my time will come...


one does not need to pop out tiny humans to pee a little


----------



## xchairity_casex

if they were "tiny" humans i dont think women would have worry about peeing while sneezing!


----------



## Sprocket

magicre said:


> one does not need to pop out tiny humans to pee a little


DAMN! that was the only reason why I'm holding out on having kids!! I like dry undies!


----------



## magicre

Sprocket said:


> DAMN! that was the only reason why I'm holding out on having kids!! I like dry undies!


four words

do not have tiny humans.


----------



## xellil

magicre said:


> four words
> 
> do not have tiny humans.


That's five words


----------



## Sprocket

magicre said:


> four words
> 
> do not have tiny humans.


Dont worry. Drew and I are not having kids... I don't physically want them and I"m not paying a surrogate or adopting. Dogs horses and more pets will be our life  Expect pictures!


----------



## BoxerParty

magicre said:


> four words
> 
> do not have tiny humans.



I plan to have tiny humans at some point...but I'm so extremely single. And I'm in law school. So puppies it is, for the time being.


----------



## chowder

I started reading through this last night but was laughing too hard and my 22 year old son was sitting next to me. Not wanting to explain ANY of this to him , I decided to finish it this morning.

Obviously I missed a great deal of drinking last night. A good time was had by all !

Luckily my husband no longer wants to know why I am laughing at my computer first thing in the morning. Everyone should start their morning with a cup of coffee and a discussion on whether to be 'plugged or unplugged'. :whoo:


----------



## hmbutler

chowder said:


> I started reading through this last night but was laughing too hard and my 22 year old son was sitting next to me. Not wanting to explain ANY of this to him , I decided to finish it this morning.
> 
> *Obviously I missed a great deal of drinking last night*. A good time was had by all !
> 
> Luckily my husband no longer wants to know why I am laughing at my computer first thing in the morning. Everyone should start their morning with a cup of coffee and a discussion on whether to be 'plugged or unplugged'. :whoo:


Sad thing is, I'm not sure anyone was drunk... on the other hand, if they were, it works well for me, coz your nighttime is my morning, so I'm always sober when you lot are talking crap :wink: makes it even more hilarious.

So, since its almost bed time for me, you must all be getting ready to start you day... quick poll, who is spending Thursday "unplugged"? I was unplugged, and it was great.


----------



## xellil

Chowder I wish I could say I was drinking. and I was as UNPLUGGED as Donna Little all night long!1


----------



## Donna Little

Yep, same here. Sober and unplugged. I'm wondering if I should write a country song with the new signature line as the chorus...


----------



## xellil

chowder said:


> I started reading through this last night but was laughing too hard and my 22 year old son was sitting next to me. Not wanting to explain ANY of this to him , I decided to finish it this morning.


I would die if my son saw this thread and me posting in it. just absolutely keel over of embarrassment.


----------



## hmbutler

xellil said:


> I was as UNPLUGGED as Donna Little all night long!1


Rick is a lucky man!!


----------



## xellil

hmbutler said:


> Rick is a lucky man!!


There's no way he's ever seeing this either. He thinks I'm talking about dog food.


----------



## hmbutler

I have to say this is a VERY accurately titled thread... :lol:

Best thread on DFC for sure lol


----------



## Donna Little

hmbutler said:


> I have to say this is a VERY accurately titled thread... :lol:


Seriously. The very thought of a butt plug terrifies me....


----------



## chowder

xellil said:


> There's no way he's ever seeing this either. He thinks I'm talking about dog food.


I made the mistake of telling my husband what this thread was about. He sent me a link to a picture of a butt plug with a bunny tail attached! Apparently they are all the rage in Japan. :biggrin:

I"m never telling him anything again! And no, I am not attaching that link to this thread!!!!!


Wait ....bunny tails? Does that count as dog food related?


----------



## xchairity_casex

i actually have one with a real red fox tail attatched....


----------



## magicre

Donna Little said:


> Seriously. The very thought of a butt plug terrifies me....


i swear, if i knew where you lived....i'd send you one.

they really are very innocent looking...and probably have uses that your dogs could use. given the title of this thread. 

i was sober last night. still am this morning. 

donna unplugged. that is a hoot.


----------



## magicre

hmbutler said:


> I have to say this is a VERY accurately titled thread... :lol:
> 
> Best thread on DFC for sure lol


well, one never knows what direction a thread will go when xellil, donna, and sprocket get involved....oh, and let's not forget the instigator, emma.


----------



## Donna Little

magicre said:


> i swear, if i knew where you lived....i'd send you one.
> 
> they really are very innocent looking...and probably have uses that your dogs could use. given the title of this thread.
> 
> i was sober last night. still am this morning.
> 
> donna unplugged. that is a hoot.


Well I know what one version of a butt plug looks like because that's what I saw in the toy store. 

I probably don't need to see any variety. Like Charity's. With a fox tail.... You can't really tell us you have that and then think you are at all prudish... 
And to think I didn't keep the tails from all those foxes my hubby killed.... The $$ I could have made.

And Re, I shall never give you my address lest I be afraid to look in the mailbox...:fear:


----------



## magicre

Donna Little said:


> Well I know what one version of a butt plug looks like because that's what I saw in the toy store.
> 
> And Re, I shall never give you my address lest I be afraid to look in the mailbox...:fear:


aw, donna.....that cuts. LOL


----------



## chowder

Did you notice that all the men have dropped out of this thread?


----------



## magicre

xellil said:


> That's five words


thank you for pointing that out.


----------



## xchairity_casex

Donna Little said:


> Well I know what one version of a butt plug looks like because that's what I saw in the toy store.
> 
> I probably don't need to see any variety. Like Charity's. With a fox tail.... You can't really tell us you have that and then think you are at all prudish...
> And to think I didn't keep the tails from all those foxes my hubby killed.... The $$ I could have made.
> 
> And Re, I shall never give you my address lest I be afraid to look in the mailbox...:fear:


yes the money you could have made with those my fox tail was 25.00 and the plug was almost 100.00 and its name is trixiebell (no i was not the one who named it you buy it with the name trixiebell)

why so exspensive? medical grade glass


----------



## Donna Little

xchairity_casex said:


> yes the money you could have made with those my fox tail was 25.00 and the plug was almost 100.00 and its name is trixiebell (no i was not the one who named it you buy it with the name trixiebell)
> 
> why so exspensive? medical grade glass


You plug your ass, with high grade glass?? Now I feel a rap song comin' on....


----------



## Donna Little

I have seriously got to get off the computer.....


----------



## liquid

Donna Little said:


> You plug your ass, with high grade glass?? Now I feel a rap song comin' on....





Donna Little said:


> I have seriously got to get off the computer.....


DONNA!! :rofl:


----------



## xchairity_casex

Donna Little said:


> You plug your ass, with high grade glass?? Now I feel a rap song comin' on....


SING IT!!! :whoo:


----------



## magicre

Donna Little said:


> You plug your ass, with high grade glass?? Now I feel a rap song comin' on....


this thread is killing me.....do i have to add THAT to my sig, too? LOL


----------



## Herzo

I'm shocked just shocked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shocked: Wow I'm so far behind, I have never heard of these things. 

You all have given me a good laugh. I really can't add anything, I'm a little speechless.


----------



## chowder

magicre said:


> this thread is killing me.....do i have to add THAT to my sig, too? LOL


 If your sig gets any longer, there won't be any room for you to actually write messages!


----------



## chowder

Donna Little said:


> I have seriously got to get off the computer.....



When I fail my class this semester because I never got my term paper written, I'm just gonna send the teacher a link to this thread. 

I'm actually suppose to be researching an entirely different topic but this one is a whole lot more interesting. I'm not sure she'll accept you all as a reference in my bibliography, though.


----------



## magicre

chowder said:


> If your sig gets any longer, there won't be any room for you to actually write messages!


i'll have to take the pic out....which is worth it just to get donna's pearls of wisdom 

and if you flunk this course, get a note from donna.


----------



## BoxerParty

magicre said:


> well, one never knows what direction a thread will go when xellil, donna, and sprocket get involved....oh, and let's not forget the instigator, emma.



What?!? I definitely do NOT remember instigating anything...though that doesn't necessarily mean that I didn't :heh:


----------



## BoxerParty

chowder said:


> When I fail my class this semester because I never got my term paper written, I'm just gonna send the teacher a link to this thread.
> 
> I'm actually suppose to be researching an entirely different topic but this one is a whole lot more interesting. I'm not sure she'll accept you all as a reference in my bibliography, though.



The MLA has a citation style for tweets now...certainly this extremely informative thread would be an acceptable reference


----------



## hmbutler

magicre said:


> well, one never knows what direction a thread will go when xellil, donna, and sprocket get involved....oh, and let's not forget the instigator, emma.



Actually, I do believe it was this post that started it all:



xellil said:


> OK I should probably not say this, but sometimes when I cough real hard or sneeze suddenly, I pee.
> 
> Just getting old, me and Snorkels. Maybe we'll both be wearing diapers before too long.



and then Charity was sweet enough to suggest ben wa balls... and it spiralled from there :lol:


----------



## xellil

Well, people have been complaining about my signature. So I had to remove Donna's line. At least i think that's what they are complaining about


----------



## magicre

xellil said:


> Well, people have been complaining about my signature. So I had to remove Donna's line. At least i think that's what they are complaining about


i added to mine. who complained about your sig...miss instigater


----------



## xellil

magicre said:


> i added to mine. who complained about your sig...miss instigater


I dunno! And the message didn't say exactly what they were complaining about. I assume it was Donna's line. Either that or Snorkels photo.


----------



## magicre

i'm at the age where i don't give a rat's behind.


----------



## magicre

hmbutler said:


> Actually, I do believe it was this post that started it all:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> and then Charity was sweet enough to suggest ben wa balls... and it spiralled from there :lol:


i do believe you are correct...you are now the appointed secretary of the accuracy.


----------



## xellil

Party poopers


----------



## hmbutler

Someone complained about your sig? How sad for them!

I display my signature with pride!! And I will continue to do so, as I am the secretary of accuracy, and my signature is entirely accurate! :lol:


----------



## xellil

hmbutler said:


> Someone complained about your sig? How sad for them!
> 
> I display my signature with pride!! And I will continue to do so, as I am the secretary of accuracy, and my signature is entirely accurate! :lol:


Good for you! I have been chastised, so I must remove my sig. But apparently it's only me that causes angst for someone.


----------



## Donna Little

Clearly we're all a bunch of trouble makers. If you could only hold your pee Xellil none of this woulda happened.... :wink:


----------



## xellil

donna little said:


> clearly we're all a bunch of trouble makers. If you could only hold your pee xellil none of this woulda happened.... :wink:


i know!!!!!!


----------



## hmbutler

My sig is only coming down for one of three reasons:

a) I get bored of it/dont want it anymore and change it
b) Mods/admin ask me to change it
c) Donna asks me (nicely) to change it 

Lol. But anyone else who just wants to whinge about it knows where to stick it :wink: (pun intended)


----------



## xellil

hmbutler said:


> My sig is only coming down for one of three reasons:
> 
> a) I get bored of it/dont want it anymore and change it
> b) Mods/admin ask me to change it
> c) Donna asks me (nicely) to change it
> 
> Lol. But anyone else who just wants to whinge about it knows where to stick it :wink: (pun intended)


I got told by a mod someone had complained about it.


----------



## xellil

Not just one - complaint*S*


----------



## hmbutler

oh well there ya go... oh well, no complaints here, as yet :tongue:


----------



## xellil

hmbutler said:


> oh well there ya go... oh well, no complaints here, as yet :tongue:


YOU were the one who wanted to put them in our signature!! You got me in trouble. I'm going to tell it was your idea


----------



## BoxerParty

xellil said:


> I dunno! And the message didn't say exactly what they were complaining about. I assume it was Donna's line. Either that or Snorkels photo.



Dear random person complaining about xellil's signature,

You are cordially invited to BITE ME at your earliest convenience.

Best, Emma.


----------



## xellil

BoxerParty said:


> Dear random person complaining about xellil's signature,
> 
> You are cordially invited to BITE ME at your earliest convenience.
> 
> Best, Emma.


thank you instigator


----------



## BoxerParty

xellil said:


> Party poopers



In the context of this thread, I must say :rofl:


Obviously there should be a forum-wide bulk order of Ben wa balls so that so future pee leakage leads to threads of this nature. :tongue:


(But seriously, this is my favourite thread EVER.)


----------



## xellil

I am really, really trying to resist the temptation to google butt plugs with foxtails because I am afraid it will burn something onto my brain I won't ever be able to erase.


----------



## BoxerParty

xellil said:


> thank you instigator


Just doing my job, ma'am. :wink:


----------



## Liz

Ladies, I have avoided posting in htis thread like the plague and no I have not complained. Foxtail? Really the picture in my head is stuck - I don't know how I will sleep tonight. Goodness there was so much information on this thread I will never forget it. Have a wonderful night.:redface::redface:


----------



## xchairity_casex

xellil said:


> I am really, really trying to resist the temptation to google butt plugs with foxtails because I am afraid it will burn something onto my brain I won't ever be able to erase.


they really are quite lovely the glass plug is very artful and like i said geared more towards women so theres no freaky crap
Trixiebelle Glass Plug


----------



## hmbutler

lol this thread will be locked soon and we'll all be asked to remove our signatures :tongue:

but it was fun while it lasted haha


----------



## magicre

xchairity_casex said:


> they really are quite lovely the glass plug is very artful and like i said geared more towards women so theres no freaky crap
> Trixiebelle Glass Plug




you just HAD to go there LOL


----------



## Donna Little

xchairity_casex said:


> they really are quite lovely the glass plug is very artful and like i said geared more towards women so theres no freaky crap
> Trixiebelle Glass Plug


And of course I had to click on the link and now may possibly be scarred for life.... :wacko:


----------



## xellil

Donna Little said:


> And of course I had to click on the link and now may possibly be scarred for life.... :wacko:


HAHAHAHAHA! You were warned  - there is no way I am clicking that link.


----------



## Donna Little

xellil said:


> HAHAHAHAHA! You were warned  - there is no way I am clicking that link.


Yes, stay away, save yourself!!


----------



## hmbutler

xellil said:


> HAHAHAHAHA! You were warned  - there is no way I am clicking that link.


did you click it yet? you will totally click it, even if you dont admit that you did... if you haven't yet, you will...


----------



## xellil

hmbutler said:


> did you click it yet? you will totally click it, even if you dont admit that you did... if you haven't yet, you will...


Nope, I have not. Unfortunately, I have a vision in my head that won't go away. It's probably worse than clicking the link.


----------



## Herzo

I have gotten a good laugh out of all of you on here. So I just want to point out a couple of things. Like (ok I did click on the link and I don't get it, I think I'm missing something, but that's A OK with me) any who the title of this thread Trail of Terror, well the fox tail does go along with that so maybe not so off topic, just sayin.

And people need to let you all alone I'm so sick of political correctness I could uke: some of you younger people maybe have never heard this but this is what we were told growing up and I think it needs to happen again.... sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.......

And Donna here's to the Queen of sayings :hail:


----------



## xellil

Herzo said:


> I have gotten a good laugh out of all of you on here. So I just want to point out a couple of things. Like (ok I did click on the link and I don't get it, I think I'm missing something, but that's A OK with me) any who the title of this thread Trail of Terror, well the fox tail does go along with that so maybe not so off topic, just sayin.
> 
> And people need to let you all alone I'm so sick of political correctness I could uke: some of you younger people maybe have never heard this but this is what we were told growing up and I think it needs to happen again.... sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.......
> 
> And Donna here's to the Queen of sayings :hail:


you are so cool. There aren't alot of people in this world innocent enough to look at a sex toy and not know what it is! And I mean that as a huge compliment.

And I agree - the Queen of the Sayings!! We should do a book.


----------



## Scarlett_O'

Liz said:


> Ladies, I have avoided posting in htis thread like the plague and no I have not complained. Foxtail? Really the picture in my head is stuck - I don't know how I will sleep tonight. Goodness there was so much information on this thread I will never forget it. Have a wonderful night.:redface::redface:


Ok, now I have to post.....cause I just came across this post, read it all(while I'm suppose to be feeding the munchkins) and wasnt going to reply...HOWEVER....after Mama Liz did, well I just had to!!!!HAHAHAHAHA. Liz is one of the only people I didn't think would ever post in this thread, so ya.....way to give me a GREAT amount of laughs guys, and make me wonder why I waited so long to click into te title!Lol

(oh and as far as "the talk" goes......my mom said "Boys only want one thing...and when you give it to them they will leave, so don't."
Yup, that's all I got, and that was at 17.


----------



## xellil

And Scarlett, that was actually pretty good advice! And true.

I have to admit, I am kind of appalled at myself for enjoying this thread so much, and yet somehow feel weirdly daring.


----------



## xchairity_casex

xellil said:


> you are so cool. There aren't alot of people in this world innocent enough to look at a sex toy and not know what it is! And I mean that as a huge compliment.


you would be suprised at the toys they make now days
View attachment 6730

View attachment 6731

View attachment 6732


and YES those are ALL toys for adults only


----------



## IslandPaws4Raw

Oh I enjoyed this thread IMMENSELY!!! :heh: Took me back to my early twenties........fond memories of exploration and whatnot.........anywho..........nuff said......carry on eep::smokin::lol:


----------



## Scarlett_O'

xellil said:


> And Scarlett, that was actually pretty good advice! And true.
> 
> I have to admit, I am kind of appalled at myself for enjoying this thread so much, and yet somehow feel weirdly daring.


Yes it was....although the fact that is came at 17 when I was trying to figure out where I wanted to live and possibly move in with an aunt and uncle that I kinda sorta knew...well it was a little light on the help!Lol

Oh man.....I take that back....I had to have been 18!!


But needless to say, Jesse is and will be my one an only...and I'm glad I waited(oh who am I kidding, I never had any other chance, but I'm glad of that!)


----------



## Herzo

xchairity_casex said:


> you would be suprised at the toys they make now days
> View attachment 6730
> 
> View attachment 6731
> 
> View attachment 6732
> 
> 
> and YES those are ALL toys for adults only


wawawhat is...... no I don't want to know!

I come from Wyoming where men are men and sheep are nervous.


----------



## chowder

xchairity_casex said:


> you would be suprised at the toys they make now days
> View attachment 6730
> 
> View attachment 6731
> 
> View attachment 6732
> 
> 
> and YES those are ALL toys for adults only



Good thing you told us. I would have thought they were some kind of household decoration and put them on an end table or in a potted plant!


----------



## Donna Little

Herzo said:


> I come from Wyoming where men are men and sheep are nervous.


Now that is funny! And a little bit scary at the same time....:twitch:


----------



## Herzo

chowder said:


> Good thing you told us. I would have thought they were some kind of household decoration and put them on an end table or in a potted plant!


See I knew I wasn't the only one.


----------



## magicre

xellil said:


> Not just one - complaint*S*


seriously? 

i got one private message, just asking me about it....but not a complaint, i don't think.

i only took mine down because xellil took hers down and i wanted to show solidarity...LOL


----------



## Herzo

Donna Little said:


> Now that is funny! And a little bit scary at the same time....:twitch:


Oh indeed, but those old sheep herders would get lonesome out on the range all by there little selves.


----------



## magicre

Herzo said:


> wawawhat is...... no I don't want to know!
> 
> I come from Wyoming where men are men and sheep are nervous.


now, in pennsylvania, where i was reared.....we say...

i come from pennsylvania where men are men and the sheep look over their shoulders.


----------



## magicre

Donna Little said:


> Yes, stay away, save yourself!!


i KNEW you would click the link.


----------



## magicre

i can say, with complete assurance, that Liz would NOT have clicked any links.


----------



## Donna Little

magicre said:


> i KNEW you would click the link.


Yes, and watched the strange little "informative" video too. And that was enough to assure me, had there ever been any question, a butt plug will never live with me or in me..... :nono:


----------



## Liz

You got that right Re, I know when to click and when to walk away. LOL Besides nothing gets plugged like that around here. :redface:


----------



## xellil

magicre said:


> seriously?
> 
> i got one private message, just asking me about it....but not a complaint, i don't think.
> 
> i only took mine down because xellil took hers down and i wanted to show solidarity...LOL


Thanks Re - I figured everyone had gotten the email, but it turns out no one but me did. 

UNLESS they were complaining about Snorkels' photo - the email didn't say specifically what was so offensive in my signature.


----------



## magicre

xellil said:


> Thanks Re - I figured everyone had gotten the email, but it turns out no one but me did.
> 
> UNLESS they were complaining about Snorkels' photo - the email didn't say specifically what was so offensive in my signature.


why not just ask? LOL


----------



## xellil

magicre said:


> why not just ask? LOL


Perish the thought! I'd be much more reluctant to remove Snorkels' photo. I still like looking at it. I'll get tired of it in a few days probably but not yet.


----------



## hmbutler

magicre said:


> seriously?
> 
> i got one private message, just asking me about it....but not a complaint, i don't think.
> 
> i only took mine down because xellil took hers down and i wanted to show solidarity...LOL


alright, alright, mine is gone too :wink:

but donna... I will never forget...


----------



## xellil

hmbutler said:


> alright, alright, mine is gone too :wink:
> 
> but donna... I will never forget...


Definitely never forgotten


----------



## Donna Little

I'm like a legend, in my own mind.....


----------



## magicre

Donna Little said:


> I'm like a legend, in my own mind.....


you are like a legend in my mind, too.


----------



## Dude and Bucks Mamma

I was wondering where all of the awesome signatures had gone! Honestly, I don't know how people who get offended by every little thing live in this world anymore...


----------

