# When do you know it's time??



## tuckersmom20 (Dec 12, 2010)

Hey all...

This isn't about my boys.... So don't freak out! Lol

It's about my moms 12 year old golden retriever.
Rosie used to be a breeding machine, by the time she was 6.. She had already had over 70 puppies.
My mom knew of Rosie because somehow the "breeder" is in her now ex's family.

Rosie was kept out in a barn, so she's always been afraid of the car, the trees blowing, the wind... The things normal dogs would enjoy.

So she's 12, her back legs work 1/4 of the time, the rest of the time she's falling.
The vet has said her heart is only half working... Which is why she coughs a lot and pants like she's been on a 5 mile run... But she hasn't moved.
She's also blind.... Or at least just about full blind.
She's deaf which is for sure. My mom dropped something beside her by accident one day while Rosie was sleeping.... Never even woke up.
Rosie's new thing is eating once a day... If that. She has to be convinced and her food has to be topped.

I honestly don't see that sparkle in her eyes anymore... I'm not her owner so I can't say much.

I have asked my mom when she thinks it's time.... She says never... It'll happen when it happens by Rosie.
I hate to think Rosie's living just cause of mom.
Her drive and will have declined so much in the past two years, I have asked mom to consider thinking about Rosie's life. I don't push.... But my mom is adamant on letting Rosie live till she finds her dead.

I have to stay quiet about it when I see Rosie falling because I do believe the gift of eternal sleep is the best gift to a pet who just can't anymore.

Then there are days like this morning where she won't eat, won't get up to go outside.. And my mom ends up yelling at her calling her a stupid animal and why won't you do anything!

It's a rock and a hard place.... I can't say much but want to help her realize.... And then she throws back that the boys are young..... Um let me remind you that Sam is turning 10 and has 3.5 working legs. 
Sam can't rip apart chicken wings and such anymore cause of his teeth... So he's fed ground... But he eats, runs, plays, and ya his eyes are going grey... But can still spot food in an instant.

Maybe this is a rant ..maybe I dont know. I hate to think Rosie is living just cause of mom.
That sparkle in her eyes has been gone a good long time.


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## Dude and Bucks Mamma (May 14, 2011)

That's a hard one. It isn't your dog so you can't make the call but you just have to sit there and watch. 

I had to sit and watch my ex's grandparents' Irish Setter deteriorate. He was completely incontinent and, soon after, could no longer get up on his own. He was never called a stupid animal or anything negative but he really was pretty done. They dragged him back and forth through the house on his big fluffy bed. In the morning he was dragged out to the living room where they spent the day with him and then he was dragged back to their bedroom when they went to bed. 

We were together for almost 5 years so I watched him go from a magnificent dog to a bedridden senior, quite literally, on his deathbed. I talked to my ex a few months after we broke up and asked him about David. He had passed away but, to this day, I still don't know if he just died or if they finally had him euthanized. 

I think the catch with David was that he still, somehow, had that sparkle. When someone would walk over to him his whole face would light up and he would wag his tail as hard as he could. He spent all day alertly observing the goings on but he couldn't move to go do anything. It was the strangest old dog situation I have ever seen. 

I have to agree with you. I think it's time for your mom's dog but, like I said before, there really isn't anything you can do about it 

Good luck trying to convince her it's time and that a "natural" death isn't always the best. I mean, we all wish our dogs will just pass away peacefully in their sleep but most don't. I'm sorry you have to watch this. It isn't fun.


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## NewYorkDogue (Sep 27, 2011)

You are really in a difficult situation. So difficult to judge....when it comes the the end of things. 

For me, I had made the decision to put my Lab down when he collapsed and couldn't walk anymore. He was suffering from Lymphoma, as well as a paralysis of the trachea, so even breathing was difficult and labored. The same day he collapsed, he refused food for the first time in his life; I could not get him to eat even the tastiest bit of food. And I knew...it was time. He was suffering beyond what what I felt was humane.

Damn, it's so hard, though. I believe you are right about the "spark" being there, or not. But, maybe you can remind your Mom that we are the only advocates for our animals, and they may not express all of the pain they are experiencing. Sometimes the best gift is, indeed, the "gift of eternal sleep."

Best of luck to you and your Mom.


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## tuckersmom20 (Dec 12, 2010)

Thanks 

I know I can't make the decision... I just wish she would realize that sometimes you can't keep them cause you don't want to be without them.

It's tough, it really is. She lays there and sleep almost 24 hours a day...you call her name and she has no idea.
She ways her tail a bit still, it's almost like even that is too much... And then she's coughing.

I was almost in the position with tuck in 2010... And luckily his vet could save him.
But even that brush with the decision was enough to send me into deep sadness.

I can't convince mom... She won't listen, I've tried so much.
She just says she can't and wants Rosie to do it for her.

Rosie is at the point that if she gets sick, it will most likely take her... She just isn't strong anymore.


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## Sprocket (Oct 4, 2011)

I was in a similar situation until the dog just died in her sleep a week ago today.

She wasn't blind or incontinent but she basically stopped eating and kept laying out side in the dirt and on the side of the house for the past 2 weeks. Drews mom just cheerfully said that Cayenne loves laying in the dirt. I mentioned to Drew that they should euthanize her to ease her suffering in case she went violently but my suggestions always fall on deaf ears with them. Last monday we found her on the side of the house at about 6 pm. I asked Drew to pick her up and put her in the house. I said "She is going to die soon". I don't know how I knew, its just the way she felt/smelled. That night she died on the living room floor with Drews dad petting her at 9:30. She did go peacefully and I am glad that Darrell was with her to comfort her.

Dogs will tell you when they want to go and if they don't, you have to gauge their quality of life with a neutral point of view. We always want to be sentimental but if the dog is falling apart then it is best to let them go with their dignity intact. 

I am sorry you are in such a position. I know exactly how you feel :frown:


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## bett (Mar 15, 2012)

very hard to tell someone when it's their dog.
hopefully the dog isnt suffering.


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## tuckersmom20 (Dec 12, 2010)

bett said:


> very hard to tell someone when it's their dog.
> hopefully the dog isnt suffering.


Betty i hope the same...


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## SterlingValleyGoldens (Aug 12, 2012)

Something I heard awhile sticks out in my mind and makes a lot of sense. Pick 3 things your dog REALLY enjoys, when they can no longer do those 3 things, it's time. If she can no longer walk, no longer has that sparkle, can't eat well...then I'd say it's past time.


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## Tobi (Mar 18, 2011)

I've thought about this long and hard with my mom about her 22yr old cat... it's hard to judge such a thing.


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## warunasanjaya1919 (Aug 18, 2012)

tuckersmom20,I am very sorry to hear what happened to the Rosie. I think that Rosie's last day is near. At least give her good food. I want to know what happened to other 70 puppies?.


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