# Nosy neighbors?



## Caty M (Aug 13, 2010)

I am looking for advice on what to do about my next door neighbors.. they keep leaving me notes in my mailbox about what I am doing wrong with my dogs and accusing me of cruelty in some cases. :twitch:

My two dogs in the morning eat outside and I leave them out there for a 2-4 hours. It's June, it's not cold at all.. I won't do this in the winter. Anyway they just run around and play and have fun.. I check on them every 20 minutes or so and they never want inside. I never leave them outside when I leave the house. I got a note a few days ago saying it's mean to leave dogs in the backyard and they should always be indoors. They are NOT tied up.

I got a rack of venison ribs from someone (freezerburnt) so I defrosted it and let the dogs eat as much as they wanted in the backyard.. obviously I wasn't going to let them eat it inside. Sure enough the next day there was a post-it note in my door saying "were your dogs eating RAW meat?? How barbaric can you get? There is a thing called 'DOG FOOD' for a reason!"

There have been a couple other notes as well, not recently, but in the winter when I put Bishop outside in the snow. When it's -10, he doesn't care. He has a huge poofy fur coat. He was bred to run in cold weather.. and he was only out for 10 minutes and I was checking on him. 

It's just so annoying that people can't mind their own business! If she came up to me personally and talked to me, I would tell her to leave me alone.. but they were just notes and I am a non confrontational person. Her back upstairs window has a full view of our backyard. She is a little old lady who has two bichon mixes. I think she just likes being in other people's business.. I should leave a note on her door saying it's mean to not walk your dogs daily!


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## naturalfeddogs (Jan 6, 2011)

Hmmm...sounds like along the lines of harrasment. I would be tempted to go knock on the door and ask them to explain themselves, then give my side. Or, maybe keep all the notes for "evidence" of harrasment.


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## Caty M (Aug 13, 2010)

I don't see why they WOULD be harassing me though. Yes we are young but we don't even party. We are quiet neighbors, our lawn isn't unkempt and our dogs don't howl.


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## naturalfeddogs (Jan 6, 2011)

Some people just have nothing better to do than start s**t.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

Oh boy, ignorant, know it all, attitudes like that plain makes my blood boil. 
I'm know I'm probably hyper-sensitive about this as I get the same sort of thing, people actually looking down on me because I let my dog enjoy being a dog - not a handbag. 
I'd do one of three things. Either confront her, try very nicely and non emotionally explaining what you told us and facts about their raw diet. (Although, if she is like the people round here, I can tell you right now thats not going to make any difference). Don't hit her though!!
Or, try her strategy, print out a heap of info on kibble food recalls, raw food diets, and exercise being necessary for dogs and stick it under her door. 
Or, report her to the P.O. because, if I'm not mistaken, I think its a felony to put anything other than mail in your letterbox.
I wish people like this would go out and take on the dog fighters and abusers out there instead of spouting passive aggressive crap about stuff they know nothing about. As far as I'm concerned, dogs kept inside all day everyday and never walked? Now, that's abuse. Tell her to get a goldfish instead.
And, yes, don't read her notes anymore, put them straight in a folder. Don't throw them out.


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## lucky (Jan 8, 2011)

I totally agree with naturalfeddogs, what your neighbours are doing is harrassment, I would just have to go and tell her that if it carries on I would be reporting her


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## lucky (Jan 8, 2011)

bishopthesheltie said:


> I don't see why they WOULD be harassing me though. Yes we are young but we don't even party. We are quiet neighbors, our lawn isn't unkempt and our dogs don't howl.


Some people are just naturally miserable and nosy though, always trying to find something to complain about. I have had a few neighbours like that in the past


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## FL Cracker (May 4, 2011)

Wow... I'm not sure I could restrain myself from giving them a good piece of my mind...let alone the sleazy way of leaving notes around..."grow a pair and knock on the door". I would keep the notes....just for future reference...and would not change your routing because of some nosy neighbor.
Now my neighbor and I were good friends at one time...until I started hearing his mouth running behind my back....

When I got started feeding raw...he came home...and watched me feed CoCo her first chicken quarter...it was outside on the front porch in the shade. He came over...casual chit chat...then the next day a mutual friend was over...they drifted next door...and I happened to catch my neighbor whispering to our mutual friend about me feeding raw chicken...of course he has NO clue about raw feeding...but felt compelled to bring it up behind my back. (so he thought) I broke right then...
As I caught wind of it...walked directly over to them, and said...."no need to talk behind my back, I'm right here...and maybe you could learn a thing or two about a raw diet if you had the inclination to pay attention to more than your self....and maybe...just maybe your dog's skin problems would clear up if you would feed him something better than that garbage you have him on". The difference between your dog and my dog is I give a sh*! about their health...and your only concern was to appease your kid for some sort of birthday novelty. 
Next time you would like to bring up my business with others...don't...because when I find out about it... I will just make an idiot out of you again. Stop "airing out my laundry" to cover for your inadequacies...it's weak and pathetic....kind of like your dog's diet.
I don't much hear from him anymore...and I'm good with it.


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## naturalfeddogs (Jan 6, 2011)

MollyWoppy said:


> Oh boy, ignorant, know it all, attitudes like that plain makes my blood boil.
> I'm know I'm probably hyper-sensitive about this as I get the same sort of thing, people actually looking down on me because I let my dog enjoy being a dog - not a handbag.
> I'd do one of three things. Either confront her, try very nicely and non emotionally explaining what you told us and facts about their raw diet. (Although, if she is like the people round here, I can tell you right now thats not going to make any difference). Don't hit her though!!
> Or, try her strategy, print out a heap of info on kibble food recalls, raw food diets, and exercise being necessary for dogs and stick it under her door.
> ...


You are right, it IS a felony for anyone other than yourself or the mailman to put anything in your mailbox. You have them nailed right there. Between that and threatning to get them on harrasment, I bet they would stop.


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## werecatrising (Oct 15, 2010)

What a pain. I don't have any good advice, but know what it's like to have people who think they know better say you are mistreating you animals. My dog, Darla, is a pyrenees mix. When I rescued her I was determined I could make her a house dog. After tons of work and the help of a behaviorist I finally gave up and decided to let her be what she wants to be- a guardian dog. I have many people who tell me it is cruel and refuse to believe she HATES being inside. I have just learned to ignore them.


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## SpooOwner (Oct 1, 2010)

I'm echoing a lot of what was said above, but with a different tone. I generally find that, when someone is acting passive aggressively towards me, the best thing I can do is confront them directly, but amiably. They're usually so horrified to actually be talking with you, that you don't have to adopt a harsh or belligerent tone to put a stop to their behavior. I'd be very direct with them: knock on their door, when they answer, ask them if they have a minute to discuss something with you, then tell them that you've received several anonymous letters in your mailbox and that you think they are the people who wrote them. Then tell that you'd like to discuss the content of the letters.

At this point, they're probably mortified. You won't have to say much more to get them to stop. Tell them that you think their concern comes from a good place, but that it's misdirected in this case. Your dogs enjoy playing outside and are well supervised when they do, and you'd be happy to provide them with some literature if they'd like to learn about the advantages of a raw diet. You realize that raw food for dogs is a little unusual, but it's actually very healthy for the dogs.

By playing it calmly, you're giving them an easy way out of this. But there are always those people who don't take the hint, and if they become rude or self-righteous, then you can meet fire with fire, and inform them that they've committed a federal crime of mailbox tampering, and that you will report them to the authorities if their behavior continues. In the meantime, you've kept all of their letters as evidence and if they so much as look at you funny, you'll go to the authorities.

BTW, if they rent their property, commission of a crime is usually grounds for eviction, though it depends on the contract.


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## SerenityFL (Sep 28, 2010)

MollyWoppy said:


> Don't hit her though!!


LOL! God you're funny. 

I had a nosy neighbor and ignoring her didn't work, confronting her didn't work, getting up in her face when I'd had enough didn't work...just keep every single post it note, notate the time and date you received it and take photos of your dog on that day. Put it all in a file. You never know.


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## Caty M (Aug 13, 2010)

I'm not sure it would do much to confront her. The people on the other side of her have rottweilers and she calls them 'killer dogs' and they have gotten into yelling matches.. no idea what about though.

The notes aren't anonymous, she signs them all as "with concern, Sylvia" LOL. 

Our lease is up in Aug and we will probably be moving then.. hopefully to less ridiculous neighbors.


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## Mollygirl (May 14, 2011)

I think the best thing to do is get to know her. Do you own or rent? If you own and she owns then your going to be neighbors for a long time. When we moved into our home 20 years ago it was mostly older ladies that owned the homes around us. I am a very private person so I didn't really get out and get to know them. I had 2 young daughters who would play outside and for some reason, kids are kids, went into a neighbors yard and broke a mason jar she had in the yard. Well she came down and yelled at me about it. I had no idea what she was talking about, but I found a mason jar and took it to her and told her I was sorry and got to talking to her. At first I thought she was an old grumpy lady. After getting talking to her, we became the best of Friends and I also got to know the other older ladies on the block. They then became like grandmothers to my daughters and watched out for them. They would go to their house and talk to them and later when they got old enough to come home by themselves after school, the ladies on the blocks always looked out for them and they knew they could go to them for help. Well, I'll tell you, I miss all those ladies, they have all died and houses been sold and they are all rent houses now. Take the time to get to know her, talk to her about how you are raising your dogs, she may want to learn all about the raw diet. Elderly people usually want the best for their pets. And they love to talk!


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

do not go onto her property, as you respect the unwritten law of privacy and would never want to trespass or go somewhere uninvited....instead, i would suggest this:

leave a note where she leaves her notes.....and the note should say



> if you are reading this note, then you know this is the third time or however many times that you have come onto my property uninvited.
> 
> once is allowed by law. you are now being warned that if you come onto my property again, the police will be called and i will have you charged with malicious mischief and any other charge the police and district attorney will allow.....and i will also call my attorney and take out a restraining order.


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## Caty M (Aug 13, 2010)

Haha great idea magicre. Although the mailman might think I am a bit crazy.

I'd have to sign it "with concern, Catie"


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

bishopthesheltie said:


> Haha great idea magicre. Although the mailman might think I am a bit crazy.
> 
> I'd have to sign it "with concern, Catie"


she leaves it in your mailbox??? my my...that, my dear, is federal...and you can report her to the post office authority for ...wait, i have to think of what it is...ah, she is domestically terrorising you....

seriously, though, she is never ever ever permitted to leave anything in your mail box. that is tampering with the mail and that is a federal offense....

i had missed that one....all you have to do is call your local mail station and tell them your next door neighbour is leaving nasty notes in your mail box....play ignorant and ask them what you can do about it, because i am pretty sure that's a federal offence.....it is tampering, i believe...


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## mischiefgrrl (Oct 28, 2010)

I've had that neighbor... only the "sweet little old lady" DID get confrontational when she was drunk - which was nightly.

If someone was that concerned about my business and had a full view of my yard, I'd start walking around with as little clothing I could get away with by decency laws. In my case, that is not a pretty sight. I'm sure people would start closing their curtains and minding their own business. :shocked:


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

mischiefgrrl said:


> I've had that neighbor... only the "sweet little old lady" DID get confrontational when she was drunk - which was nightly.
> 
> If someone was that concerned about my business and had a full view of my yard, I'd start walking around with as little clothing I could get away with by decency laws. In my case, that is not a pretty sight. I'm sure people would start closing their curtains and minding their own business. :shocked:


yeah, but those would be the type to call the police.....because they live in the cloud of self righteousness


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## mischiefgrrl (Oct 28, 2010)

magicre said:


> yeah, but those would be the type to call the police.....because they live in the cloud of self righteousness


That's why I wouldn't go nekkid. A thong bikini is legal to wear... though on me it looks like a bookmark in the middle of "War and Peace."


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## whiteleo (Sep 7, 2008)

mischiefgrrl said:


> I've had that neighbor... only the "sweet little old lady" DID get confrontational when she was drunk - which was nightly.
> 
> If someone was that concerned about my business and had a full view of my yard, I'd start walking around with as little clothing I could get away with by decency laws. In my case, that is not a pretty sight. I'm sure people would start closing their curtains and minding their own business. :shocked:


I haven't had that neighbor, "Thank you Lord" but I do walk around naked all the time! Lol


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## Caty M (Aug 13, 2010)

I get cold easily and I live in Canada so it may not be the best option, but I will keep that in mind.. I'm sure my boyfriend would like it!

LOL I am pretty sure she also had left a note on my cat when I first moved in.. he is a rescue street cat and I could never keep him strictly indoors and him still be happy, so he is indoor/outdoor. I put a little sweater on him when he goes out, and he doesn't care. One time he came back with a note pinned to the collar saying it's mean to make cats wear clothes. It made me laugh! He loves people and goes up to everyone so it wouldn't be hard at all to pin a note to him..


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## mischiefgrrl (Oct 28, 2010)

Oh, I think you could feed the dogs and do a little gardening in a thong and Ugg boots. Buy a nice banana hammock for the boyfriend so you match.

[email protected] at a note pinned to your cat! I'd get him a custom shirt that says "I eat old people" and send him out.


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## whiteleo (Sep 7, 2008)

She really sounds like a looney toon, If I were you I'd call the Postal service and see if there is anything they can do about the notes being left in your mailbox. That way you are not confronting her and letting them do the dirty work and also letting her know "you mean business'


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## mischiefgrrl (Oct 28, 2010)

And because I don't feel like doing laundry yet and leaving the computer... I even designed a t-shirt for you


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## Caty M (Aug 13, 2010)

Haha, that's cute. I'm not sure if we have those same mailbox laws in Canada. I get religious pamphlets delivered in person and put in there all the time. 

Seriously though, does anyone think it's mean to put a dog outside? I mean.. they are dogs. They still sleep in my bed and get a ton of attention, but it's nice for them to get a bit of exercise by playing and I get a couple hours of peace and quiet!


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## mischiefgrrl (Oct 28, 2010)

No, it is not mean to put dogs outside and let them play. When I had a yard, Tanis and the fosters were outside most of the day and came in when it got dark. There was more room to run and jump outside than inside. I think it's mean to keep them cooped up inside all the time!

She's just nosy. Probably has a miserable life so she needs to find things she disapproves of in others to feel better.


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## Liz (Sep 27, 2010)

My dogs play for hours outside and love it. When we actually get sun they love to lie belly up "tanning" If the weather is good my guys are out. Guess what - so are my kids. It is healthy to get fresh air and exercise.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

bishopthesheltie said:


> I get cold easily and I live in Canada so it may not be the best option, but I will keep that in mind.. I'm sure my boyfriend would like it!
> 
> LOL I am pretty sure she also had left a note on my cat when I first moved in.. he is a rescue street cat and I could never keep him strictly indoors and him still be happy, so he is indoor/outdoor. I put a little sweater on him when he goes out, and he doesn't care. One time he came back with a note pinned to the collar saying it's mean to make cats wear clothes. It made me laugh! He loves people and goes up to everyone so it wouldn't be hard at all to pin a note to him..


I would ignore her. She is totally nuts. Take her notes, date them and put them away in your folder, and laugh. She is a pathetic example of an animal lover.
OR
Give her something to really complain about. Take some Round Up and spray a big 'FxxK YOU' or a big phallic symbol on the grass in your backyard. 


And, you are not alone - I put a nice red sweater on my cat in winter (and I live in Florida, I would be putting a ski suit on her if I lived up north)
Plus, I am getting a fence installed very shortly, forking out the dough just so I can let my dog out to do what she wants when she wants. So no, I do not think it is cruel to leave them outside as long as they are not barking and are happy. Some people lose sight of the fact that they are dogs and they enjoy being out sniffing around and checking out their territory. (I'm talking about being supervised and not left alone for the day or anything here).


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## Celt (Dec 27, 2010)

I don't think letting dogs be outside is mean. Gah, we put in a doggie door for the boys because they like being outside sunning or racing, but between the heat and the wind, they were going in and out so often that it just made better sense to let them do it themselves.


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## meggels (May 30, 2010)

Omg, I thought the note on the cat was a typo and you meant car LMAO. I am dying of laughter here....


To be honest, I probably would be obnoxious and leave her a note in her mailbox that said....

Dear Sylvia,

Go ______ yourself.

With Concern,
Meg





but that's definitely not the mature thing to do


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## meggels (May 30, 2010)

Oh and NO, it's not even remotely mean to leave your dog outside a bit! I wish I could let Abbie just play and roam outside, but I can't, no fence. If your dogs like it, let them enjoy it! Some dogs love it. My frenchie on the other hand, would NOT want to be left outside.


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## meggels (May 30, 2010)

Okay, maybe a less hostile approach would be good.


I think you should go to the craft store and get her a knitting/crochet set for beginners. Leave it on her front step with a note that says 

"Dear Sylvia,

I really think you need to g"et a hobby. 

With concern,
Catie


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## Mollygirl (May 14, 2011)

My dogs love being outside when I'm out there, but if I leave it's omg, mommy left and they try their best to follow me. Even if my son or husband is out there. In the past my dogs have been all outside dogs, I grew up with dogs only being outside. It depends on the breed if they should be left outside, like my English Bulldog, she loves being outside with me but she gets too hot so I only let her stay out for a little while.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

whiteleo said:


> She really sounds like a looney toon, If I were you I'd call the Postal service and see if there is anything they can do about the notes being left in your mailbox. That way you are not confronting her and letting them do the dirty work and also letting her know "you mean business'


my mail carrier told me it was a federal offense to tamper in any way, someone else's mail box. i'd call the post office and lodge a complaint. that'll stop her quickly enough and then you don't have to have any contact at all with her.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

bishopthesheltie said:


> Haha, that's cute. I'm not sure if we have those same mailbox laws in Canada. I get religious pamphlets delivered in person and put in there all the time.
> 
> Seriously though, does anyone think it's mean to put a dog outside? I mean.. they are dogs. They still sleep in my bed and get a ton of attention, but it's nice for them to get a bit of exercise by playing and I get a couple hours of peace and quiet!


it depends on the dog. if it were my pug, then yeah...but you've got dogs with fur coats on who like it.


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## Caty M (Aug 13, 2010)

Well, my IG doesn't. But it's June!

Haha everyone, thanks for your suggestions. I am getting a sheep brought to my house and I am going to butcher it for the mutts.. I will see if she leaves any notes about that (I'm sure she will LOL, animal guts in the backyard and all) and if she does, I will be going over to talk to her. I am breaking no laws so I can do whatever I want!


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## doggiedad (Jan 23, 2011)

she's a little old lady. you don't do anything except for being
kind to her. 



bishopthesheltie said:


> Her back upstairs window has a full view of our backyard. She is a little old lady who has two bichon mixes. I think she just likes being in other people's business.. I should leave a note on her door saying it's mean to not walk your dogs daily!


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## doggiedad (Jan 23, 2011)

it's amazing how some of you treat the elderly.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

doggiedad said:


> it's amazing how some of you treat the elderly.


Oh get a grip and a sense of humour. Most of it is joking. Don't forget, its also amazing how some elderly treat the young.
It's called mutual respect.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

i live with an elderly population. believe me, they can be pretty nosy and unkind in what they do and what they say. not all elderly people are mother theresas.

this thread, in my opinion, is called a rant and rave.....the op is not going to do anything, i'd bet on it.

but complaining on a board with friends is a-okay in my book....

for you to think otherwise, that any actions would be taken, other than ignoring her and complaining on a forum.....well, let's just say perhaps you haven't thought this through.


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## doggiedad (Jan 23, 2011)

i have all kinds of grips. i don't think the posters were joking.
when it comes to the elderly they get respect and kindness
no matter what. you should get a grip on that.



doggiedad said:


> it's amazing how some of you treat the elderly.





MollyWoppy said:


> Oh get a grip. Most of it is joking. Don't forget, its also amazing how some elderly treat the young.
> It's called mutual respect.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

Mate, you need a sense of humour. :smile: Yes, the posters were joking, I for one thought it turned out to be a fun thread. 
I did indeed suggest some not so nice stuff, but I was looking at the actions of the perpetrator, not the age. In my book there is no excuse for being mean or downright rude to other people no matter what your age.


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## 1605 (May 27, 2009)

bishopthesheltie said:


> Well, my IG doesn't. But it's June!
> 
> Haha everyone, thanks for your suggestions. I am getting a sheep brought to my house and I am going to butcher it for the mutts.. I will see if she leaves any notes about that (I'm sure she will LOL, animal guts in the backyard and all) and if she does, I will be going over to talk to her. I am breaking no laws so I can do whatever I want!


You've had a lot of very constructive responses about how to deal directly & reasonably with this "nosey neighbour". Please heed the advice! Because in this message you come off as someone who doesn't want to face their accuser in a diplomatic manner, but rather someone who is just spoiling for a fight. 

Firstly, unless you are a licensed abattoir you cannot kill & butcher any animal in "your" backyard. I can't begin to tell you how many bylaws or health codes you'll be breaking doing this! Even if said animal is already dead, I strongly suggest taking it to a local butcher to have them dismantle it for you; in all likelihood you don't have the proper tools to deal with a whole animal and I doubt if they would charge you very much to do a job that they are much more experienced than you to do. Then you wouldn't have to contend with the mess or neighbours, nosey or otherwise. Because if _*I *_lived next door to you & you started doing that, I would certainly be calling some local authorities about someone butchering an animal in their backyard! 

BTW, the "nosey neighbour's" age should have nothing to do with how to deal with this person. At one time I had "issues" with some senior citizens who lived next door to me in a high rise condo in Toronto. After several "run ins" of similar nature to those outlined in this thread, we eventually met face to face over a cup of tea & had a good talk. After that we became the best of friends/neighbours. 

Bonne chance,


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## mischiefgrrl (Oct 28, 2010)

I don't think I was being mean with my suggestions in this thread, though they were made in jest.

This lady might by annoying with her notes and suggestions. Maybe she is trying to be helpful in her way. I do think slaughtering an animal in plain sight would be over the top. It's not something I would want to see from my window.

It could be MUCH worse. I mentioned the neighbor I had before. I did nice things for her all of the time. She was a miserable woman who's own children hated her. I left flowers randomly on her doorstep on Mother's Day so she would know someone cared. I gave her a gift basket and card when her cat died because I knew that was the only living being she had on earth that loved her. She returned those favors by throwing wine bottles at my home, kicking my sprinklers until they broke, offering my dog food and then slapping him across the face, pointing speakers at my windows and blasting rap music to ruin my dinner party, the list goes on and on. A**holes live to old age too and that doesn't give them a free pass to keep acting like that.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

she smacked your dog? 

in my world, that means all bets are off. dem's fightin' moves.


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## doggiedad (Jan 23, 2011)

i know what i read and it didn't seem like jokes to me. how many of you were joking
with your reccommended actions???



magicre said:


> i live with an elderly population. believe me, they can be pretty nosy and unkind in what they do and what they say. not all elderly people are mother theresas.
> 
> this thread, in my opinion, is called a rant and rave.....the op is not going to do anything, i'd bet on it.
> 
> ...


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## whiteleo (Sep 7, 2008)

I wasn't joking, I'd call the postal service and let them deal with her! Elderly or not, which I work with elderly people everyday is not an excuse, respect is respect regardless of age and this woman had no respect for her neighbor.


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## whiteleo (Sep 7, 2008)

magicre said:


> she smacked your dog?
> 
> in my world, that means all bets are off. dem's fightin' moves.


re, you have good juju! Lol


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## mischiefgrrl (Oct 28, 2010)

magicre said:


> she smacked your dog?
> 
> in my world, that means all bets are off. dem's fightin' moves.


Believe me, it took EVERY ounce of my self control not to react physically. The old lady was drunk and she slapped my dog as she was walking into my house uninvited. She looked for confrontation and was out of her mind. There was one time I came home from a trip to Mexico and as I was unloading my car I heard a commotion and it sounded like police reading someone their Miranda rights. I peeked over and saw her sitting in handcuffs. While I was out of town she harassed another neighbor and tried to kick in their stained glass windows. Then SHE called the police on them! When the police showed up and knocked on her door, she grabbed the officer's cell phone, hit him with it and slammed the door shut in his face - with his phone still in her possession!!! LOL. I knew they were going to take her to jail no matter what so I asked her if I could help her. I went into her home while she was in the cuffs, turned off her oven and got her some shoes so she wouldn't go barefoot. I was way too nice but meh, I'm a schmuck sometimes. At least I can sleep at night.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

Hey, I've got one of those too!! During the past 8 months or so, an older man renting a house across the canal has has called the police on us 7 times so far. The police are now refusing to respond to his complaints. Apparently, at night, I am talking badly to him through his air conditioning ducts. Last time he told me he had 50 hours of tapes of me calling him names and telling him he's worthless. Why? Apparently I was up the mast one day and he was saying hello to me and I ignored him. I never even heard the bugger or of course I would have acknowledged him.
He would come round home here at 11pm at night, strong arming me at the door, Mollie would be up on her back legs, trying to get at him, snarling, barking and carrying on. I love this dog. She hates him and he is scared shxtless of her, thank goodness. When he's sane, he tells me I'm a sweetie, which I am 
But, saying that, with all the drama's and stress he's caused me, who is the one who pulled him out of the canal at 12.30am one night, when he fell (jumped) in? After we both managed to get out of the water, freezing cold, he tells me all is forgiven! That had me giggling. 
I can't blame the man for his actions, I'm sure when he's normal he is a lovely person, its just that he's sick, poor thing. But, why me?

Now, I better go and roll up that wire........ :biggrin1::biggrin1:

(I should add that after the drowning incident, he has been in and out of psychiatric wards).


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## Caty M (Aug 13, 2010)

Well the animal is already killed, am NOT breaking any bylaws. The point of doing it myself is to save money. In high school I worked at a butcher.. I'm not completely clueless. If she doesn't like what she is seeing in my backyard, she can simply not stare through her window at me.. problem solved, as would all the problems she is having with me.

Thanks to Mollywoppy, magicre and mischiefgirl and others for keeping the thread fun.. I think I stated in one of the posts that I am NOT a confrontational person and magicre you are right it IS more of a rant and rave. There is no way I would seriously spraypaint a phallic symbol in my backyard, as fun as it would be.. 

I do not treat anyone rudely and disrespectfully unless they themselves instigate it with their behavior. I have lots of experience on this, trust me, I have been a bartender for a few years.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

doggiedad said:


> i know what i read and it didn't seem like jokes to me. how many of you were joking
> with your reccommended actions???


i was not joking. i was suggesting that the law be called in, vis a vis ...either the local police or in this case, since it 
involves the us mail....the post office. 

there are people who are old and lonely and my heart goes out to them...whether they be kind and alone and nasty and neglected.

however, having said that.....just because a person managed to beat cancer, heart disease and any number of things that bring us to death.....doesn't give anyone the right to be disrespectful.

minding one's own business is paramount here for all of us to live in peace....and to be spied on..which is what this is...is societally unacceptable, no matter what the age or circumstance. i was not put on this earth to be the entertainment or under the dominion of another human being.

that said, sometimes if nothing is done, the other party escalates. it is not disrespectful to, within boundaries, show a person who is disrespectful that is not to be borne.

so, yes, i would call the police, the post office, a lawyer....whatever it takes....she could be 96 or 23...privacy is privacy...

i also believe that most of the people responding to the OP were not seriously serious.


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## lucky (Jan 8, 2011)

doggiedad said:


> i know what i read and it didn't seem like jokes to me. how many of you were joking
> with your reccommended actions???


I wasn't joking when I said that I'd report her. Harrassment is harrassment whatever age you are, this "little sweet old lady" should know better


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## wags (Jan 31, 2009)

Liking this one! And if Sylvia is still bothering you tell her to volunteer somewhere since she has so much time on her hands or maybe she could write a book with all her complaints and make some money or heck she could always post all her views on a page in the paper! She really should be using her time wisely and get a life doing something other than harassing you! She seems like a coward though if she leaves notes. She should really talk to you up front! I still say she ought to volunteer her time since she has a lot of it instead of spending All the time to write notes to you!


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## SerenityFL (Sep 28, 2010)

In a way I agree with doggiedad. I was raised to respect the elderly no matter if they are being nasty, spiteful, hateful, etc. Age DID matter, how I was taught. That teaching prevented me from joining in and making comments or suggestion in jest. I could have easily done that but again, I couldn't stop thinking that maybe she's lonely, maybe she's bitter, maybe she's something....but it doesn't mean I stop respecting her as elderly and a human being. For young children and older folks, I give them respect. Everyone in between...respect you give, respect you get. I'm sure someone won't agree with that, it's not a problem, it's how I am.

I think that the OP should do something, say something, confront the person. It doesn't have to be a negative experience. I did have a nosy neighbor and NOTHING worked...but I tried. 

Obviously spray painting your yard to flip off your neighbor is in jest and wouldn't be done but some of the suggestions...I had to wonder about, myself. Clearly the OP wouldn't do those things as she said, herself, she's non confrontational...which prevents someone from doing some of the more drastic things mentioned...but definitely to go over and at least address the notes, address the woman and just talk to her. Again, it doesn't have to be negative. 

"(name), I appreciate your concern for my pets and I am thankful that someone is caring enough to watch out for animals to ensure that they are not mistreated or abused. It's so much better than when someone turns a blind eye to such things as many people do, in this day and age. I do wish to address some points you have brought up to me in your Post Its as I believe you are not seeing the whole story. Do you have some time to sit down and discuss these concerns you have? I would appreciate it."

Confrontation is necessary but for the third time, confrontation doesn't always mean, "negative". It's healthy and it can help people to better understand each other.

Having said all of that: Yes, I have a sense of humor, No, I'm not perfect...I just see doggiedad's point.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

serenity, i too was raised that way..and it wasn't until i did my psychiatric stint in nursing homes for depressed clients....and it didn't even take quite then....it was when we moved into a retirement community even though we were younger than 55...they had to let us in...fed regs....because we wanted to live in a home, not a three stack apartment....

that's when i found out how horrible young people are and old people are not exempt....they tell me their stories as they pet my dogs, so i know most of the people here....most are outwardly kind....but there are a few who are liars and cheats and nasty.

i have no obligation to be kind to a person just because they are old. it's not an honour to be old...nor does it command respect. respect, as with any age, is earned....through kindnesses and mind your own business....and lines that should not be crossed in polite society....

from what i've seen here.....i am saddened to find out that my parents were wrong in teaching me the blanket respect thing for old people, for some are as evil as the young.

with people like that...i would not confront nor would i be mean. i would just report to the agency that allows for these reports and be done with it. i would have no contact at all...if the woman is old and alone because she outlived everyone else...well, i guarantee she was taught the same social skills as we were....and is trying to get attention in a way that is destructive.

all she ever had to do was say hello. that simple. not nasty notes in a mail box.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

Did I ever tell you that I live in 'God's Waiting Room?'. This place where I went out for dinner one night, 8pm it was. Ordered dinner, and we received our appertiser, dinner, dessert and cheque at the same time. I had to hoover down my dinner and then get a straw for my icecream and, pay for the whole thing before I could eat! I'm use to the oldies, and they all love me. I'm the one putting up their hurricane shutters, cutting palm fronds down, going up the masts of their boats that never move, bringing in their papers to the front door when I walk early in the morning. I can talk the grumpiest of them around, the hermits, the mean, the set in their ways, the nasty's, for some reason I get along with them all, I laugh and ignore their comments. (one told me only yesterday that my hair looked like straw! - I just laughed along with them, life's too short). But, I must say that when someone says anything about me being cruel to my animals, I seem to lose my sense of humour, it hits a nerve somewhere.
But, unless a person is suffering from alzheimers or dementia or some type of horrible illness, to be as mean as this person was probably means they've been a miserable person their whole lives. I think if I was in the same situation, I'd go and try to talk to the person and use my charm and smile. A bottle of wine or rum might loosen up their lips a bit.  If that didn't work, I'd just ignore them and take the higher road. But, cover myself by dating and keeping the notes. If it escalated to some kind of crazy, then talk to the PO and let them handle it.


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