# Heavy Heart



## Dexter (Jan 3, 2010)

The name I choose to use in this forum is the name of our 41/2 yr old yellow lab Dexter. My wife started as a volunteer at the local dog shelter 2 years ago and I would go and help once in awhile also. She said a young lab was brought in and said it was a beautiful dog,I think she did this on purpose because she new I wanted a yellow lab. to make a long story short he came into our lives. To those who have had the perfect dog you know what I'm about to say, he was perfect. He got along with our cats and the horse, didn't even chase the deer from the feeder even if they were 20yds away from us. He knew all the tricks and commands, even when he did his number 2 he went in the pasture or the woods. But tragedy struck Wednesday night about 10pm. We went out to have him go do his job and I was going to check the outside woodstove. The stove is only 75ft from the house by the edge of the woods, we hadn't even gone half way there when he took off into woods and didn't get more then 20 yds in and he let out a terrible yelp. At first I thought and hoped he got into a porky and would have quills in his mouth but when he came back my heart sank. He took after a bear and got swatted in the side of the head. I won't go into details because I'm crying as I type this but we met the vet at his clinic and had to put him down. What a loss for our whole family and friends. I don't know if the pain will ever go away or not but I'm glad I got to spend 11/2 yrs with him. Maybe there will be another dog someday that can heal some broken hearts.


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## Sir (Feb 4, 2010)

Dexter said:


> Maybe there will be another dog someday that can heal some broken hearts.


Sorry for your loss.

Being that you're grieving over the loss of Dexter. I understand how it can be easier to cope by telling DFC about this part of your life.

A new yellow lab will help distract you from Dexter's last moments. Naming the new yellow lab, Dexter, will even keep the 'old yeller' style going.

Just remember how much joy you had with Dexter, and keep the joy feeling in mind when the name Dexter is used. :smile:

Cheers!


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Dexter. This must be a very difficult time for you and your family. It must have been a terrifying experience, it's terrifying just reading your story...I had an situation with my dog not too long ago that had me scared for her life but she pulled through just fine. I don't know how I would function if I had lost her. 

Life is unpredictable and throws curve balls at you when least expected. It's just a part of life that we all have to face at some point. This is why you have to live life to the fullest and enjoy everyday like it will be the last. 

Dexter was so very lucky to have come into your life. I can tell by your post that he was dearly loved and will be sorely missed by all who had the pleasure of knowing him. 

Take comfort and find peace as you remember him. Think back to all the positive times you shared. 

Take care and best wishes


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## malluver1005 (Nov 15, 2009)

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! What a terrifying experience! Like danemama08 said, anything can happen at any time. That's why you've got to enjoy every day...

You, your family and Dexter are in our prayers...


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## xxshaelxx (Mar 8, 2010)

Sir said:


> Sorry for your loss.
> 
> Being that you're grieving over the loss of Dexter. I understand how it can be easier to cope by telling DFC about this part of your life.
> 
> ...


Sir, you can't replace a dog, or any pet for that matter. Also, I would never name another animal after an animal we already have/had. I once had a cat named Max and a Lizard named Max. Both died on the same day. Not only that, but if the second dog doesn't live up to the original, then it is just disgracing the name of Dexter.

Dexter, we're sorry to hear about your loss. I would simply die if something happened to any of my babies (maybe not Kuso, because I'm so about to kill him right now! But kidding). My two cats, three dogs, and one husband are my life. I almost cried the other day just knowing that my one kitty wasn't eating and that she could go into liver failure if she didn't start eating soon, which wasn't looking likely. And I know what it's like to lose the perfect dog, too, and there are still times when I think about that dog now and want to cry, and that was probably six years ago! Just remember to always keep Dexter in your heart, and know that you saved his life and made even that year and a half worth every minute times ten.


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## luvMyBRT (Mar 8, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss. :frown:
Losing a loved dog is the same as losing a family member. They are part of our families and loved so much.

I do know how you feel. In January we lost our beloved Rottie to bone cancer. The loss was so profound to me. He was my buddy, my doggie soul mate, my teddy bear, my constant shadow. The bond we had was like no other. I miss him and think of him every day.

I can tell you that it does get easier. As time passes, the ach in your heart will begin to lessen. Soon you will begin to think of Dexter and not cry. I am just to that point with Kodi. I can now think of him and smile. I treasure the memories that I have and know that there will always be a place in my heart that belongs to only Kodi.

I also recommend not jumping into getting another dog. You need to have time to grieve, it is normal. I will not ever be able to name another dog "Kodi". That name belongs to Kodi and will always be only his. 

In a few weeks, months, years (however long you need), you will soon feel that new puppy/new dog happiness. I am sure there will be another special dog that will come into your life in the future. :smile:


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## Sir (Feb 4, 2010)

xxshaelxx said:


> Sir, *you can't replace a dog*, or any pet for that matter. Also, I would never name another animal after an animal we already have/had. I once had a cat named Max and a Lizard named Max. Both died on the same day. Not only that, but *if the second dog doesn't live up to the original, then it is just disgracing the name* of Dexter.


That's just a cold outlook to the loving place where I was coming from.
Setting unrealistic expectations for someone or thing to conform to our desires is conditional, wanting 'it' to increase our own happiness. Holding onto the unhappiness is the unhelpful egotistical anchor, which stuns forgiveness. 
Apparently a woman in NYC did not let go of a pit bull incident, lives in fear, while spreading hate.

Next time your viewing the glass as half empty. Get a smaller glass!
:wink:


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## xxshaelxx (Mar 8, 2010)

Sir said:


> That's just a cold outlook to the loving place where I was coming from.
> Setting unrealistic expectations for someone or thing to conform to our desires is conditional, wanting 'it' to increase our own happiness. Holding onto the unhappiness is the unhelpful egotistical anchor, which stuns forgiveness.
> Apparently a woman in NYC did not let go of a pit bull incident, lives in fear, while spreading hate.
> 
> ...


Yeah, um, you make absolutely no sense on where you're coming from. Bringing up the post about the person in NYC having issues with a neighbor has nothing to do with this post. The point is that you can't replace a dog, and some people consider it an insult to just say that you can. If my dog Amaya died today, I wouldn't go out and get another dog to replace her. No dog could replace her in my heart, and I would personally feel it an insult if you said that to me.

When you name a dog the same name, and get the dog just because you just lost your other dog, that is exactly what you are trying to do, trying to replace the dog, ESPECIALLY using the same name. That is just going to breed disappointment in whomever does do it, because, by replacing the original dog, naming it the same name, they are pretty much setting themselves up to expect the same things out of that dog, and no two dogs are alike at all. Not only that, but it would be a disgrace to the previous dog, like saying you didn't love them enough to let them have their own name, rather than choosing a different name unique to the next dog.



> I also recommend not jumping into getting another dog. You need to have time to grieve, it is normal. I will not ever be able to name another dog "Kodi". That name belongs to Kodi and will always be only his.


I wonder how Saraj would have felt if you had said this to her after she lost Kodi, knowing that she would never name another dog Kodi, because that name belongs to him?


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

*Sir and xxshaelxx*

This thread is not one to make into a debate.

Just comforting words for Dexter, so kindly take your arguements to PM if you'd like to continue.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

Oh boy, what a shock for you and your wife. I am so so sorry. Sending big ((((hugs)))) your way. 
The grief and loneliness will be hard to handle for a while but you need to take comfort in the fact that you obviously gave your Dexter the kind of life and love that all dogs should be priviliged to have. 
Dogs sure do steal a big chunk of your heart. 
I am going to go and give my pup a big hug as you have reminded me that I need to treasure every second she is here with me.
Take care and be in peace.


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## Khan (Jan 17, 2010)

Dexter, 
I am so sorry for your loss. It is always hard losing a beloved family member; but losing one so suddenly and unexpected is even worse.
I lost my Zeus in August to bone cancer. One day we were happy go lucky, and 28 days later he was gone. I was devastated. :frown:
The ache in your heart will never go away; but as saraj said, it gets easier to smile when remembering your most devoted fan.
Know that he loved and and protected you and your family with his entire being. 
You are in our thoughts and prayers
Gina & Khan


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## wags (Jan 31, 2009)

I am so so sorry to hear of this shocking loss. Having two labs myself (my chocolate is my sweetie My velcro dog) its just so sad for me to read this. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am just crying with you . My prayers are with you~ your family ~and a special prayer for Dexter. Feel comfort in knowing how wonderful a life you gave to him and how special he felt to be owned by you. 
Until you both meet again! God Bless.


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## rannmiller (Jun 27, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Dexter. I can't even imagine the pain and sadness, especially so unexpectedly. It made me happy to think of this wonderful shelter dog getting to have such a great life with you being so loved and loving you in return, not matter what the length of time was. I'm sure every moment of his life with you was wonderful to him and I'm so grateful to you for giving him that pleasure and so happy he could return the favor to you. He will always be in your heart and memories, hopefully soon you will be able to remember him only with joy and happiness reflecting on the time you had together and it will ease the pain of your loss. 

But I'm tearing up just thinking about it, so I'm gonna stop now.


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## Dexter (Jan 3, 2010)

*Thank you*

I would like to thank all of you that kept us in your prayers through this terrible time. Just an update as to were we are now. Last Friday my wife called me at work sobbing saying she couldn't stand the loneliness even though it had only been a few days since Dexter was put to rest. She found a 4yr old female yellow lab online at a nearby shelter but there was no connection with her when we went to see her, but they had a female chocolate lab that was just surrendered that we have taken in to foster for awhile. She is a sweetheart of a dog that wants alot of attention, just what the wife needs. I told myself that I didn't want another dog because there wouldn't be another that could ever compare to Dexter but I can't try to compare Molly to Dexter because that wouldn't be fair to her. We till cry but time will heal our wounds eventually. Once again thank you all.


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## RawFedDogs (Jun 16, 2008)

You don't try to replace Dexter. That can't be done. What you do is get another dog who is not Dexter but one you can become just as attached to and love just as much. There will never be another Dexter. There will be another dog.


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## wags (Jan 31, 2009)

You will never be able to replace Dexter, but you will certainly always find room in your heart for a different dog! Dogs love us unconditionally. They never want us to live by ourselves! The memories you have made from Dexter's life are irreplaceable. A new dog is a new joy its all different. New experiences, new memories to have and share. Dexter would thank you for choosing this way of thinking! Loving animals so much is what makes us want another one and our beloved dogs who have gone before us wouldn't want it any other way.


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