# dog is stressed around people



## tricia beaver (Jul 16, 2011)

My Siberian husky gets stressed around new people or people she has met but doesn't know. I have tried having a friend come over and give her treats but she refuses to eat the treats and it doesn't help. I took her biking with me, a brand new experience for her and she was perfectly fine with the bike and new place. She took treats when no one but me was around, and was a happy dog, but if someone was near, she refused. 
I got her at 8 months old and she wouldn't come out of her kennel unless she went outside. She just wanted to stay in there all the time. I have her to the point where she will socialize with us inside and in the yard without wanting to go the kennel.
How can I help her be less stressed by unknown people?


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## Maxy24 (Mar 5, 2011)

What does she do _exactly_? Not taking treats is just another sign of stress, I would stop letting people interact with her at all. She can go and sniff them, touch them, etc. but they should leave her alone until she is VERY comfortable with them and willing to take treats. If she is able to ignore the guests you may see if she'll accept treats (no pushing/encouraging let them offer a treat, if she refuses they need to go away) watching guests closely would indicate that she's worried about them, if she is able to lay down and relax on her own, not having to obsess over the guest, then it's a sign she's becoming more comfortable with them being there and they can try tossing a few treats her way and handing her treats. If she likes to play fetch they can try a low intensity game of that. If she refuses then make them leave her alone.


However I don't want to give too much advice without more info about her behavior. What does she do when people come over your house or come near her on a walk? How long does it take her to warm up to those people that she has warmed up to? Does it happen in one visit or does it take several? The more info the better. I have a fear aggressive dog (he's fear aggressive towards strangers), so I know a little bit about working with this sort of fear, he's actually taught me a TON about dog behavior as he's not what I typically expect of a fearful dog. So I'd love to help if I can.

But each dog handles fear in a such a different way, just remember that you should never push interaction, it's safer if the guest pretends the dog does not exist, it allows the dog to feel safe because this potentially dangerous human obviously has no interest in him. Guests often try to offer a hand to sniff, talk gently to the dog, make kissy noises, etc. all in good spirit, but is can cause a fearful dog to go right over the edge. My dog actually "tests" guests who I have instructed to completely ignore him. After he finishes barking at them and realizes they are not paying attention he feels safe to go sniff, and he does, sometimes he puts his paws on their legs to sniff up higher (he's a small dog)-like I said he's odd, he does not try to avoid strangers at all. Then he does the test, he steps back and stares at their face, really stares, looks like he's prepared to bark at any moment...and then people tend to see the dog intently staring at their face and feel like he's trying to "connect" with them and they look back into his eyes and smile and my dog has a meltdown. Stranger fails test. Now if the stranger does as I tell them (I now prep the strangers for his staring) and they pass the stare down test he will calm down very quickly and be able to relax somewhat, things just get better from there. He'll soon be able to tolerate slight interaction (some talking and looking) I also try to redirect him if I see someone about to fail the stare test and I call him away so he doesn't notice them looking at him and then remind the stranger to just ignore him, then I let him go back to investigating. I MUST let him do his investigation if he is to relax around them, if I just leash him and keep him away from them he will continue to be a nervous wreck for their whole visit. He is rarely comfortable enough to seek attention from visitors in one visit, but if they stay for several hours he is normally fine with them walking at him, talking to him, looking him in the face, playing with him, etc. just not really okay with touching, though he won't react aggressively he just moves back (I don't tell people to do this but it happens). But he has a memory like no other, my friend came for a visit once, he was comfortable with her by the end of her visit, just like I described above. The next time she came over, a little over a month later, he greeted her with excitement, I was shocked. He met her once yet remembered she was safe. 

Sorry, I'm just rambling now, but I really enjoy working with him on his fear aggression, I am able to see progress so fast with him and I learn how to read him really well.
Also wanted to mention there is a fearful dog yahoo group (shy K9 I think it's called) so you might want to join it!


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## lauren43 (Feb 6, 2011)

I am interested in what others have to say on this subject as I have a stranger shy dog as well. Though my dog is weird because sometimes he's afraid of people, sometimes he is not. He also barks at the people he's afraid of but will take treats from just about anyone no matter how scared he is.


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## xellil (Apr 4, 2011)

Even though my dogs aren't afraid, i never let anyone come up and interact with them. Especially strangers. I just don't think it's a good idea. Let her know that yes those people are there but no one's going to ask her to do anything.

When I first got Rebel I thought I should let him get approached, but he started getting obviously stressed, whining etc. Then one day a little gang of about ten 8 year olds swarmed us and one of them was trying to hit him with a tree limb. Since then, if I see anyone coming up to us I just say "he'll bite you." That keeps them all away.

At home, I tell everyone, even people they know, to totally ignore them. Then when things settle down I'll let the dogs go up to them if they want to, and if the people want them to.


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## tricia beaver (Jul 16, 2011)

When someone comes by she will usually stay as far way from them as possible and lowers her head to her shoulder level. Just stares, ears up, no noises. If they ignore her and don't notice her at all she will walk closer and sniff. If they hold out a hand or move towards her, she moves away. Unfortunately she IS a husky and a beautiful one, so everyone wants to pet her. It takes about 3 visits for her to start warming up to people, then she is all licks and tail wags.
She was never really into fetch. In fact I'm still trying to find a game she likes because so far the only thing she really likes is the cats squeaky mouse toy. I have only had her for 5 months.
Kids make her the most nervous so I keep them away from her at all times. I never thought of saying that she bites to keep people away from her, that's a good idea.


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## xellil (Apr 4, 2011)

tricia beaver said:


> When someone comes by she will usually stay as far way from them as possible and lowers her head to her shoulder level. Just stares, ears up, no noises. If they ignore her and don't notice her at all she will walk closer and sniff. If they hold out a hand or move towards her, she moves away. Unfortunately she IS a husky and a beautiful one, so everyone wants to pet her. It takes about 3 visits for her to start warming up to people, then she is all licks and tail wags.
> She was never really into fetch. In fact I'm still trying to find a game she likes because so far the only thing she really likes is the cats squeaky mouse toy. I have only had her for 5 months.
> Kids make her the most nervous so I keep them away from her at all times. I never thought of saying that she bites to keep people away from her, that's a good idea.


You know, people can just be rude. I am amazed when we are out walking that parents will just stand there and let their kids run up to Rebel, who is a large Doberman weighing 115 pounds. What if he WAS snappy? They don't know he won't bite. Idiots.

I tried other stuff besides saying he'll bite because i hate for people to think my dog has a bad temper - please don't pet him blah blah blah. Especially kids. They can be nasty little brats. Threat of bodily harm was the only thing that did it for me. 

My little dog looks so cute and cuddly and she is old and looks totally harmless so everyone wants to pet her. She WILL bite. She can't do any harm because she has so few teeth, but she does a pretty darn good Cujo impression when she feels threatened.

You know, it sounds to me like your dog isn't so terrified of people unless they invade her space. Honestly, I think if you just keep her moving when people are there and keep them away from her, she'll be less afraid that they are going to come up to her.


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## whiteleo (Sep 7, 2008)

Do you know any of her history prior to owning her? She has a big mistrust of people and it could be because she was abused, is my guess.


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## Liz (Sep 27, 2010)

I have a sheltie who doesn't like pretty much anyone but me. She is titled in two venues so will maintain her composure but will rarely approach anyone on her own. I take her everywhere with me. If she is showing distress like heavy panting, circling, pacing I put her on a sit stay and tell her to watch. In a moment she starts to calm. I also never let others pet or offer treats as this is something I know bothers her. When she is relatively calm and we are in a calm atmosphere I may stand her and allow a calm and quiet person to pet her. She is not ecstatic but remains calm. I never allow her to be mauled or pet by several people at once. I believe she has to trust that I can read her and will protect her from undue stress. I would love for her to be outgoing and bubbly but that is just not her so I am content with calm and confident. At home she is allowed to approach people at her own pace. I do nto let anyone grab for her or try to bribe her. She will usually start investigating on her own after five minutes or so and she is getting more and more inquisitive as time goes on. We have had her about a year and a half and she came to me this way. Her pups on the other hand are outgoing bordering on the outrageous - LOL Be patient and place your pups needs before peopel desire to pet him him. Some dogs are not very outgoing but if you gain his confidence in this area he will start to relax because he knows you will be running interference for him. JMHO


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## lauren43 (Feb 6, 2011)

whiteleo said:


> Do you know any of her history prior to owning her? She has a big mistrust of people and it could be because she was abused, is my guess.


Although this is possible sometimes its part of their personality. I've known dogs brought up in good homes from a puppy on and are still fearful...


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## Maxy24 (Mar 5, 2011)

I wouldn't assume abuse, a lot of people tend to do that (when I told my friend how terrified of strangers my dog was she asked "what did you do to him?") but it could be socialization, could be genetics, and yeah, could be abuse. My dog has been this way since we got him at ten weeks old (he was born and raised in a foster home), so I put my bet on genetics.

In your case Tricia, I'd start giving people dog instructions when they come in. I mean it might seem a little ridiculous for you, since she's not dangerous as my dog is, but I would still do it. As people come in tell them your dog is really shy, tell them to ignore her, pretend she's not there. Tell them she may come up and sniff them and if she does they should STILL ignore her. Inform them that ignoring means no talking, touching, offering a hand to sniff, making eye contact, etc. A lot of people think you just mean no petting, and that's not the case, it's much more. Let them know this. The fact that she is interested in sniffing them is very encouraging, the dogs that seem REALLY hard to help are the avoidance ones. As much as my dog's behavior feels worse, with the aggression and all (in fight or flight situations he chooses fight, just his personality), I feel like I make progress with him in every stranger session that people with "run and hide" dogs don't achieve for years.

I feel like if your dog can be more fully ignored by strangers she will make real progress, she just sounds suspicious and wants to be able to safely investigate the guests without worrying about them trying to do anything to/with her. When I first started working with Tucker I had people trying to throw treats or I'd feed him treats while playing LAT or something (I still do it on walks, but he's way too over threshold in the house) but it would make him more reactive because if people threw treats he felt they were paying him too much attention and if I fed him treats he hated taking his attention away from the stranger to take the treat. This would result in him taking the treat and then seeing "something" (usually he imagines it) out of the corner of his eye in the direction of the stranger and turning and barking at them again. Then he'd choke on the treat and it was just a mess. Giving him completely uninterrupted time to investigate the newcomer is the only thing that allows him to calm down and make progress.

So make your guests aware that you are training your dog and they have instructions to follow. If they don't want the dog sniffing them then keep her on a leash. On walks don't let people pet him but ALWAYS carry treats to reward her for staying calmly by your side and play "Look at that" mark and reward her every time she looks at the stranger so she sees the stranger as a training prop, an opportunity to earn treats without any stress of social interaction.


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## whiteleo (Sep 7, 2008)

This is why I asked if she knew the history prior to getting the dog at 8 months of age......


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## xellil (Apr 4, 2011)

whiteleo said:


> This is why I asked if she knew the history prior to getting the dog at 8 months of age......


I've never raised a dog from a puppy. I agree - I always assume bad stuff in their background. if someone gets rid of a dog at a few months old, it's usually not because they were really good owners who died in a car wreck.


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## tricia beaver (Jul 16, 2011)

I really don't know her history. The guy I got her from got her at 6 months. With him, she was always either outside or in the kennel. The farthest she would go is to the back of the couch ( 2 feet from the kennel) but she would never socialize inside. She would only play outside. He didn't know how to get her to socialize, and with a child, didn't really have time to get a trainer. He got her from the breeder who he didn't know and has no contact for. And though she is a purebred husky, the original owners never got papers on her.
Thanks for the ideas, I will try them and see if they help!


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## Sian (Oct 19, 2011)

lauren43 said:


> Although this is possible sometimes its part of their personality. I've known dogs brought up in good homes from a puppy on and are still fearful...


I'm another one with a very shy dog so this is a very interesting thread. I'd always assumed that she had been abused, too; she flinches whenever we touch her back even after having her for five years. It takes her months to get used to anyone. At first she was afraid of my zebra finches and she's still terrified of my houserabbit.. She loves my husband's dad who lives with us but it took her a very long time to get used to him and his wheelchair.

I have made her sit and allow strangers to pet her thinking it was good for her but I will stop that immediately!


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## KittyKat (Feb 11, 2011)

I would have people come over and just ignore her... have her in the room but pretend she isn't there. Allow her to explore at her own pace. Once she starts to feel more comfortable and is approaching people and sniffing they can open their hand to reveal a treat.

Just continuous rewarding for approachable behaviour towards those in your house would be a good first step.


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## Khan (Jan 17, 2010)

I think it's just some dogs are more anxious than others. We have had Shelby since she was a puppy. She is very much a mommy's girl! Dad will do in a pinch. She however is a huge stressmonster when people come over to the house. She will bark and go hide in the bedroom under the bed while she continues barking. I can tell you that she has NOT had any bad stuff happen to her, she is just an anxious dog around strangers. We tried the people coming over and dropping treats, we tried the people coming over and just ignoring, believe me, done it all. Both of those things "work" to some degree; but she has never not had at least a little bit of the behavior. The only thing that changes is how long the barking and hiding go on for. I will say, that the ignoring works the best, she has a min. or two of barking; but as the people make their way into the house and ignore her, the behavior dissipates. When we have a crowd of people over, which is not too terribly often, what I've found is that after the initial few people come in she could care less how many others come and go. 
Now I'm just rambling; but I guess I just wanted to say that some dogs, no matter how good of an upbringing they've had, some dogs are just more anxious, stressed, or fearful. It's been 3yrs and every time my brother in law's girlfriend comes over, Shelby goes nuts! other people come over and the reaction is minimal...So who knows


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## xellil (Apr 4, 2011)

Khan said:


> Now I'm just rambling; but I guess I just wanted to say that some dogs, no matter how good of an upbringing they've had, some dogs are just more anxious, stressed, or fearful. It's been 3yrs and every time my brother in law's girlfriend comes over, Shelby goes nuts! other people come over and the reaction is minimal...So who knows


Snorkels is like that too. When people come into the yard mostly she wants nothing to do with them, but a couple of times people have come in and she's attacked their shoes. I wish I was in her head!


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## lauren43 (Feb 6, 2011)

xellil said:


> I've never raised a dog from a puppy. I agree - I always assume bad stuff in their background. if someone gets rid of a dog at a few months old, it's usually not because they were really good owners who died in a car wreck.


My dog was abandoned in a trailer at a rather young age (6-8weeks). Then he was picked up by rescue in NC and then sent to NY in a 2 day transport...From there he went straight to foster. I guess the rescue people could have been cruel to him but that's doubtful (I know and trust these people)....

I think more than anything Avery missed out on proper socialization during the crucial socialization age. I sometimes wonder if the two day transport is why he has a fear of riding in cars. I just think there are soo many factors to consider its hard to assume. Although I am sure we would all like to know what happened to our dogs before they got to us, but for me its easier to just worry about what I can do for him now...


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## monkeys23 (Dec 8, 2010)

I have a skittish dog. Its partly genetic and partly from her background. I have confirmation she was never abused (excepting a toddler biting her and chasing her because the kid was unsupervised), but both her previous owners really, really wanted her to love them and had no idea how to go about proper socialization. She's a totally affection soliciting slob with me, go figure. Two of the best things for socializing her and building confidence have been going with me to art modeling because that put her with quite a few people in a room and ZERO pressure on her to interact with them... it was all by her own choice! And also just working at a training outlet where there is no pressure on her with me has really built her confidence and made her so much more outgoing. She may never be normal, but she's happy and has the skills to deal with being around people.

This is same dog that I've had to use for "how to pet a strange dog" lessons on the greenbelt. I asked the kids (who asked to pet her thank goodness!) to come up one at a time while she was sitting and instructed them on where/how to pet and lectured them on never running up to a strange dog without both owner and their parent's permission. Its seems like parent's can be pretty irresponsible about teaching their kids how to act around dogs.

What I'm saying here is don't assume the dog was abused and make sure the dog has choices. They can't just "get over it", they need to go through lots of no pressure positive reinforcement desensitization training. Whew that sounded technical! Don't worry, its really not all that tough. Just remember to take it slow, positive, and keep it low key! :smile:

I would suggest getting the book Control Unleashed. It was recommended to me when I first took on Scout and I just got around to buying and reading it... I even knew a lot of theory behind it already and its still blowing my mind! Very handy book if you feel like you are shooting in the dark.


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## whiteleo (Sep 7, 2008)

My Leo was abused when I got him at 11 months of age, he is still fearful of young boys! We were his 3rd owners at 11 months. He was very shy and didn't have any self confidence. What it really took in 3 1/2 yrs was just constant positive reinforcement, never forcing him on anyone, and knowing when he was anxious. 

People are amazed that he was ever abused as he seems to be very well adjusted now, until a young boy arrives!


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## tricia beaver (Jul 16, 2011)

I talked to the guy today and he said he knew the owner he got her from. They were moving and needed a place for the dog to stay and she stayed with him for 3 months without any contact with the owners so he deciclded to sell her. When he gave her a bath after the first month, she was really skinny. He still hasn't heard from them at all. So the original owners pretty much abandoned her at his house. He came over today and she started howling and jumping on him so it is obvious that if she was abused, it wasn't by him.


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## whiteleo (Sep 7, 2008)

Well. that is good news! She probably just is going to need some adjustment time and will take her time doing it. Just stay constant with your reinforcements and she will come around.....


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## VizslaMama (Feb 15, 2012)

I am also an owner of a very fearful/shy dog. We have had him since, 9 weeks of age. We socialized him like we would any other dog. He's been through 3 levels of obedience. Loves all our family memeber's. 

Even at 9 weeks, he was always cautious of new people and new objects, so I am wondering if genetics are playing a role. 
As the months went on, he had a few bad experiences with a young girl in out town who would come running up to him. So children he is not really fond of now. : ( And our neighbour would try to get his attention through our fence which seemed to frighten him of this neighbour, so now any people he sees while in our back yard he barks at. 

At 6 mths of age, he started barking at every visitor that came to our home, I should mention we have a roommate(friend of my boyfriends brother) and his one friend would just walk him. We didn't know this until a few months ago. I wasn't thnking maybe something has happened while we were not home between Copper, the roomate and his friend? He has seen this person enough to become familiar, but everytime he goes NUTS! Eventually calms down, but starts back up again when he goes to leave. Now anyone who knocks on the door or who visits he react fearful too. Low growl, barking like crazy. Even does this to people walking past our home out front. He will not approach people. Some people he will sniff and let them pet or give him a treat, others he wants nothing do to with. 

In out home he is the most reactive, but out walking he usually stays quiet just doesn't approach always or let people come to him. 

Copper is a love bug to us and family and so far I havn't met a Vizsla who didn't like strangers, so it is really sad to see him become stressed and react to strongly.

I will keep reading the rest of these posts but I am always looking for advice on how to help him cope and become people friendly. 

I recently bought the Thundershirt, havn't noticed a difference yet though. Expecially in out home. He still goes nuts.


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