# thinking of putting shane down



## RCTRIPLEFRESH5 (Feb 11, 2010)

with cancer there are a lot of regrets...you constantly ask yourself if you are doing the right thing
do i do chemo? if i dont do chemo, am i doing right?

shane seems to be doing pretty bad right now. lays down all day, refuses to walk when we try to walk him, throws up, and has a ball shaped internal tumor in his lymph area.

i cant help but feel sort of responsible. i lowered his prednisolone from once per day to once every other day...my intentions were pure, but who knows? i have noticed he is having trouble walking, and getting up from laying down. i figured pred was hurting his joints and wanted to make him comfortable.

but he has been getting worse ever since.

he hasn't been eating either.

he cries alot when he's resting, but that stops when i come to lay with him.

i know in my heart it's most likely time, just dont want to murder my dog when he's still got life.

we are going to the bet for another cortisone shot on wednesday..maybe we will give him euthanasia instead.

also, if istay in the room when they do it to him, will i get adverse effects from the drugs they are suing. i now that sounds wrong, but i am concerned about exposure

one last thing....i dont know how long i can last without getting a new dog. shane was from a humane society, and this time we think we are going to get a puppy from a reputable breeder. i have a few questions
how exactly do i search for a reputable breeder
and also what are the ebst things to ask to TRY to make sure my dog has a good genetic line...i know you can;t predict cancer, but a good breeder will know the cancer history in her bloodline, and i assume if i don;t get the runt of the litter ill get a dog that appropriately matches it.

8 is quite young, but he was a good boy.


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## tansox (Jun 22, 2011)

All I can say is that I have always stayed with my dogs throughout their final journey, holding them before, during and afterwards. If he's been a good boy throughout his life, he's going to need you to be strong and guide him through this. It is the last kind thing we can do for our dogs in my opinion. 

Good luck and I hope it all goes well what ever you decide.


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## RawFedDogs (Jun 16, 2008)

From your description it sounds like it's time. He is no longer a dog. He's just a creature who spends his time lying on the floor passing time. Crying tells me he is in pain and you don't want that.

When you take him, stay with him and hold him. It will be real peaceful. He will just lay his head down and go to sleep. You need to decide what you want done with his body. I had my dogs cremated.

I'm sorry you have to go through this but we all do. It's part of living with a dog. You have had a great relationship with Shane and have nothing to feed guilty about. He has been lucky to have you.


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## DoglovingSenior (Jun 26, 2011)

It sounds as if he is truly suffering. What good is another day, week or month of life if he is in this terrible pain? He has been happy with you and now you have to do one last thing for him. 

PS I had one dog die from cancer who was from a reputable breeder & one who was a Rescue. These days it is almost a crap shoot-there are MANY studies going on by various Universities on cancer in our dogs and certain breeds seem to have a proclivity for CA-why? Hopefully one day we weil know. I took part in a study on the longevity in Rottweilers.


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## DoglovingSenior (Jun 26, 2011)

Is Shane a Retriever? I can't quite tell. That is one of the breeds that is losing so many to CA. No, the drugs will not affect you. They go directly into the dog in an IV. I've never seen a vet or vet tech wear a mask or gloves.


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## Maxy24 (Mar 5, 2011)

I'm so sorry to hear this, but I agree it sounds like it's about time. You want him to go before he's in too much pain. With Max we waited a little too long, we found out he was sick around Thursday and he stopped walking on Saturday. He cried all through the night, it was heart wrenching. I'd rather have avoided that for him.

As far as breeders go, Goldens are riddled with cancer. My aunt has had five, every one died of cancer at a young age. Now she didn't get them from GOOD breeders, but I still think it's hard to find lines that don't have cancer. You might consider a mixed breed from a rescue instead, there might be less of a chance of cancer that way. If you want a breeder look for one that health screens their dogs (won't help with cancer but Goldens can get a whole host of other genetic problems) and will provide you with a long pedigree. Ask them directly about cancer in their lines, even go through the pedigree and ask how each dog died (at least close relatives) and what age they were. Ask for references so you can talk to other people who have owned dogs from them and find out if these dogs are still healthy.


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

I'm so sorry to read this. You've given Shane a wonderful life and a fighting chance. A lot of owners wouldn't have been nearly as dedicated as you've been through this whole ordeal. Don't you feel bad about that. You've done everything you can to keep him comfortable and happy for as long as possible. 

Euthanasia is a very humane and kind decision you can make for a dog that is painful and doesn't have a good quality of life, which is what I take from your description. The way I see it, if I had cancer and was in pain, didn't want to eat and had trouble getting around....I'd want someone to be able to make the kind decision to let me pass with peace. 

I would choose to be there with him for euthanasia. He seems to be most comfortable around you and would be lost and confused if you weren't there to support him in his final moments. As hard as it may be for us humans we need to be there for the end. And there is no risk of exposure. The injection is just an overdose of an anesthetic, that goes straight into a vein and works very quickly. 

And for a golden mix, 8 is a good life. Don't feel that you're murdering him. He's had a good happy life with people who love him and that's all that matters. 

Unfortunately cancer is the number one killer of goldens. Even from health tested responsible breeders there is no guarantees that a puppy won't eventually get cancer some point in life. 

Please keep us all posted.


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## SilverBeat (Jan 16, 2011)

I'm fairly new to the forum but anyone could see how much you care for Shane. I am of the belief that animals should be allowed to choose their time, rather than us choosing for them by ending their lives too soon, or pushing them to go well past their limits. If Shane is not eating, it sounds like he has lost his will. I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how hard this is for you; what a weight to have to bear.
As for finding a reputable breeder I'm afraid I can't be of much help, since I work with rescues and know next to nothing about breeding. But there are tons of members here who are experts on the subject.

Again, I'm so terribly sorry.


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## Jynical (Jun 22, 2011)

I have nothing more to add... you've got some great advice here. 
I'm just heartbroken for you. <3


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## maggie's mom (Jul 2, 2009)

I am so sorry. You and Shane will be in my thoughts.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

i'll go out on a limb here and say it's time....and i'm sorry it's time....it sucks that it's time....

but it is.

and yes, you should be in the room....it's a shot, not a gas.....your face and your smell and your touch should be the last thing your friend sees. it's the final gift you can give him.

maybe get through this before thinking about another dog? there is a grieving process...

good luck to you....

and sleep well, shane.


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## kevin bradley (Aug 9, 2009)

I'm sorry, RC.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

I'm so sorry too RC, so sorry your best buddy has to leave you so early. He'll be waiting for your when its your turn. Bye sweet Shane.
My heart breaks for you RC....


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## RachelsaurusRexU (Sep 4, 2010)

I agree with the others  So sorry. Big hugs to you both.


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## Serendipity (Aug 13, 2010)

You and Shane will be in my thoughts. Don't feel guilty -- you're the best owner Shane could have had.


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## Herzo (Feb 5, 2011)

I am so sorry for you and Shane. I have been through this twice with 2 of my bassets. My first was Sweet Pea she got cancer in her mammary glands. My vet gave me the option to give chemo. Not only could I not afford it at the time I could not see putting her through that but driving her at least 4 hours one way wasn't feasible. I have to say I still wouldn't do it. I know some one who did that with her dog because she had insurance on her. The dog still died an she put her through all that extra pain and being sick. So I am just not a fan of it. Maybe it has helped some but not that I know of.

I knew it was time when it had moved to her lungs and it was getting harder and harder for her to breath. She panicked one night when she woke up and came running to find me and I had to sleep on the floor with her to calm her down. That's when I knew it was time, and this sounds like your situation. I had already made plans to have the vet come to my house and I called first thing in the morning and the vet came, she died in my arms and I wouldn't change that for the world. It was the last thing I could do for her when she had given me almost 10 years. It was so peaceful she just went to sleep. They give them one shot to put them to sleep and then one that stops the heart. It's very peaceful.

Then about 4 years ago my Abigail who was just not on her game but the vet hadn't found anything, went out the dog door and just laid there and was panting. It seemed to get worse and worse and I took her to the vet she was in very much pain and he thought she had cancer on her spleen and it had burst. She was in so much pain I couldn't take it and I was sure there was nothing they could do and she was a few months from being 11 years old and I just had them do it fast. I just can't stand them to be in pain, and when I know they are I can make that decision. She also died in my arms and even though she had to be at the vets office that she hated and he did offer to come to the house when I said that, it would have taken to long and she was hurting to much.

This is never easy but think of the quality of life. Does he have any or is it for you. You will make the right decision my prayers are with you and Shane.


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## RCTRIPLEFRESH5 (Feb 11, 2010)

Herzo said:


> I am so sorry for you and Shane. I have been through this twice with 2 of my bassets. My first was Sweet Pea she got cancer in her mammary glands. My vet gave me the option to give chemo. Not only could I not afford it at the time I could not see putting her through that but driving her at least 4 hours one way wasn't feasible. I have to say I still wouldn't do it. I know some one who did that with her dog because she had insurance on her. The dog still died an she put her through all that extra pain and being sick. So I am just not a fan of it. Maybe it has helped some but not that I know of.
> 
> I knew it was time when it had moved to her lungs and it was getting harder and harder for her to breath. She panicked one night when she woke up and came running to find me and I had to sleep on the floor with her to calm her down. That's when I knew it was time, and this sounds like your situation. I had already made plans to have the vet come to my house and I called first thing in the morning and the vet came, she died in my arms and I wouldn't change that for the world. It was the last thing I could do for her when she had given me almost 10 years. It was so peaceful she just went to sleep. They give them one shot to put them to sleep and then one that stops the heart. It's very peaceful.
> 
> ...


i will call the vet tomorrow and see if he can come here.
im stilld oubting the whole thing. our AC is broken and it is 85-93 in this house..but maybe that's just rationalization


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## SerenityFL (Sep 28, 2010)

I am also very sorry for you and Shane but I agree with others, you were the best owner Shane could have. You did right by him, don't ever doubt it...you did everything you thought was right. We just can't control everything no matter how hard we try or want.

I typically leave it up to the person to interpret but I think it's pretty clear that it's time for Shane to rest now. You will not be murdering him, you will be giving him a huge gift to show him how much gratitude you have for him and his friendship, loyalty and love.

Please be there in the room with him...it's the best thing you can do for him. It will be hard for you, but it's for him.

Again, I'm very sorry you have to go through this....8 years doesn't seem very long at all, does it. Give Shane a big ol' hug and pet from us here at DFC.


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## schtuffy (May 17, 2010)

I'm so sorry for you and Shane, RC. My eyes are tearing up as I'm reading through the posts, so I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. Euthanasia isn't an easy decision...You gave him a great life, and I can tell the love you have for him will never fade. Best wishes~


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## luvMyBRT (Mar 8, 2010)

Letting Shane go is the last kind and loving thing you can do for him right now. It's hard...but it's the right thing to do.

He sounds like he is just like Kodi (bone cancer) was during his last few days. I knew it was time to put Kodi down because I loved him too much to see him suffering in that much pain.

Shane was very lucky to have you....and I know he loves you very much. Let Shane go, let him rest pain free. 

I am so sorry....know your not alone in how you are feeling. RIP sweet Shane.


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## RCTRIPLEFRESH5 (Feb 11, 2010)

RCTRIPLEFRESH5 said:


> with cancer there are a lot of regrets...you constantly ask yourself if you are doing the right thing
> do i do chemo? if i dont do chemo, am i doing right?
> 
> shane seems to be doing pretty bad right now. lays down all day, refuses to walk when we try to walk him, throws up, and has a ball shaped internal tumor in his lymph area.
> ...


the dog cancer vet says that computer monitors cause cancer...i live on the computer, and dont have much of a social life...could this have caused it? when i decide to bring a new puppy into my home should i stop with the pc?


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## RawFedDogs (Jun 16, 2008)

I don't think there is any credible evidence that computer monitors cause cancer. If thats so, then tv's cause it too because they are the same thing. Are you going to also give up tv? Don't worry about all these things, RC. For some reason you keep beating yourself up for something you have absoultely no reason to. Shane got cancer. Tens of thousands of dogs get cancer. Millions of people get cancer. It just happens. Don't blame yourself. Nothing you did caused it.


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## Liz (Sep 27, 2010)

I can't see that is an issue unless the pup is doing the typing (LOL). everthing can cause cancer - I think we just do our best to eat healthy and take care of ourselves and our pets. What more could we do? Guilt won't help but it is part of the grieving process.


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## RCTRIPLEFRESH5 (Feb 11, 2010)

RawFedDogs said:


> I don't think there is any credible evidence that computer monitors cause cancer. If thats so, then tv's cause it too because they are the same thing. Are you going to also give up tv? Don't worry about all these things, RC. For some reason you keep beating yourself up for something you have absoultely no reason to. Shane got cancer. Tens of thousands of dogs get cancer. Millions of people get cancer. It just happens. Don't blame yourself. Nothing you did caused it.


thanks bill(and everyone else who posted)...i just feel lie he's the only dog to get cancer at 8 =(..i know that;s not true, but it;s jsut what ifeel.
hopefully the vet will come to the house tomorrow.

also am i wrong for asking in my OP what to look for in another puppy? i dont remember who said it, but someone in this thread, said i wasnt respecting the grieving process. As much as I love Shane, I think getting a new puppy i think the next 1-2 months to keep me occupied would be good, but maybe im incorrect.

thanks everyone once again...it's hard to second guess decisions. i know this isn't my fault..heck i fed canidae, taste of the wild, and nutro all of shane's life, all decent foods.(nutro could be better but could be worse lol and i fed that years ago)
i have nothing to feel guilty about...it's jsut with cancer protocols you never know.
i'll update you guys tomorrow.


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## SerenityFL (Sep 28, 2010)

RCTRIPLEFRESH5 said:


> thanks bill(and everyone else who posted)...i just feel lie he's the only dog to get cancer at 8 =(..i know that;s not true, but it;s jsut what ifeel.
> hopefully the vet will come to the house tomorrow.
> 
> also am i wrong for asking in my OP what to look for in another puppy? i dont remember who said it, but someone in this thread, said i wasnt respecting the grieving process. As much as I love Shane, I think getting a new puppy i think the next 1-2 months to keep me occupied would be good, but maybe im incorrect.
> ...


First of all, as was said to you, don't you dare beat yourself up over Shane's cancer. I think it's absolute horse puckey about the monitors...otherwise we'd have dogs and cats dropping like flies. You did everything you knew how to do, you gave him everything you could, you did right by this dog...some things just cannot be controlled.

As for what you said in your OP, don't you dare worry about what someone else says about your grieving process. It is YOUR grieving process and how you handle it is your way and it is not wrong. People handle grief in various ways and what everyone needs to do is respect how you go through it, not the other way around. This is YOUR situation, YOUR dog, YOUR future without Shane and you grieve how you want...and if part of that is getting a new dog, then so be it. 

Edit: I now see what was written and who wrote it and I think it's not as harsh as saying you weren't respecting the grieving process. That's not what that person meant. Basically just saying be sure you are ready for another dog when you get another dog, that's all. If that time is next week or 1-2 months, if you know you are ready, then you're ready.


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## schtuffy (May 17, 2010)

Please don't blame yourself for Shane's cancer. He lived 8 wonderful years. A lot of dogs lose the battle to cancer way before that. Everything causes cancer, and there's really just no way of knowing the exact cause. There probably isn't one exact cause. 

As for getting another puppy, you do what you feel is right. I know if I lost Louis, I couldn't survive the grief without having another dog by my side. Some people don't get another dog for years because they haven't gotten over the pain and aren't ready to handle a dog in their life again. I know I would chose to have a canine companion there to help me heal from the process. It sounds to me that you are the same way, so I say go for it. Get another puppy and channel all that love you had for Shane into it. Give another dog a chance to live an awesome life with you. Take care.


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## Herzo (Feb 5, 2011)

After I lost Sweet Pea I only lasted 3 months before I had to have another basset. That was my Abigail and I never regretted it for one minute. Even though she was nothing like Sweet Pea, I loved her just as much. Now my husband then my boy friend didn't so much. But he did in the end.

Hag in there the pain will ease with time. It will never end sadly.


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## werecatrising (Oct 15, 2010)

I haven't had time to read through this whole thread, but skimmed it. It is reminding me so much of what I went through.

I lost my boy, Angel, to cancer when he was 8. I was pretty much certain for awhile that I was at fault. It was like I was looking for a way to place the blame on myself. People are going to tell you not to feel guilty. Of course, you have no reason to feel guilty, but you feel what you feel. It took awhile before I stopped looking for ways I caused my dogs early passing. 

I started looking for another dog right away. For one, I feel the best way to honor the memory of a loved one is to share your love with another in need. I also knew I was going to need another dog to heal. You know what you need to feel whole.

You are in my thoughts. Like I said, so much of what you wrote reminds me of myself. Hugs to you and Shane.


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## Mollygirl (May 14, 2011)

When I lost Johonna, I said I didn't want another dog. My mind would wonder and the daily things I did was the hardest, like feeding and her jumping on my lap, always being right beside me. I would catch myself looking down at my feet for her and of course she wasn't there, it was a habit. It made me miss her more and I guess my husband knew me better than myself because I kept saying I didn't want any more dogs. He worked nights and I'm usually asleep when he gets home, maybe something was telling me to get up, so I got up and waited for him to get home. I was sitting in here in the dark on the computer when he walked in. He asked why I was up, and before I answered I saw him holding something in his coat. I asked what are you hiding and out came this beautiful red dachshund puppy, just like Johonna. A friend at work had puppies and he gave my husband one for me. Was it fate? That night I took her to bed with me and she has been my constant companion. She isn't Johonna, she has a different personality, but she gives me what I need, love. She has helped be say goodbye to Johonna and not feel so empty. I still get all teary eye when I think about her, but Johonna had a long life and she gave up her spot so another could fill it.

So I say getting another dog so soon is just the right medicine, just remember that they will be 2 individual different dogs with different personalities.


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## SilverBeat (Jan 16, 2011)

RCTRIPLEFRESH5 said:


> also am i wrong for asking in my OP what to look for in another puppy? i dont remember who said it, but someone in this thread, said i wasnt respecting the grieving process. As much as I love Shane, I think getting a new puppy i think the next 1-2 months to keep me occupied would be good, but maybe im incorrect.


Everyone grieves differently. If my only dog was dying I'd probably be thinking about getting another one too.

No one can criticize the way you grieve because there is no right or wrong way to do it.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

RCTRIPLEFRESH5 said:


> thanks bill(and everyone else who posted)...i just feel lie he's the only dog to get cancer at 8 =(..i know that;s not true, but it;s jsut what ifeel.
> hopefully the vet will come to the house tomorrow.
> 
> also am i wrong for asking in my OP what to look for in another puppy? i dont remember who said it, but someone in this thread, said i wasnt respecting the grieving process. As much as I love Shane, I think getting a new puppy i think the next 1-2 months to keep me occupied would be good, but maybe im incorrect.
> ...


i'm not looking at my post, but i believe what i said -- and i am paraphrasing --- was deal with shane and then think about getting another puppy....you might want time to grieve....it's always up to you, of course...it just seems as if you're upset enough, as you should be....that doing one thing at a time might be the best course to take....i do not think i said you weren't respecting the grieving process...everyone grieves differently.

this is what i said in my post:



> maybe get through this before thinking about another dog? there is a grieving process...


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## wags (Jan 31, 2009)

OMG I am so late at seeing this ! RC my heart goes out to you. I am so saddened and god crying here as I write this . There are times you feel you need to ask yourself if this is the right thing to do and yes it is, if Shane is suffering so badly and from what you say he is, you are yes doing the right thing. Although, it is one of hardest decisions and yet the decision is to ask yourself what is the quality of Shane's life right now. I am so, so, so ,sorry to read this. My blessings to you and of course the most to Shane.


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## Ania's Mommy (Feb 8, 2009)

I'm so so sorry.... This is by far the worst part about pet ownership. My heart goes out to you and Shane. I don't know what else I can say... Prayin' for ya, Dave.


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## RCTRIPLEFRESH5 (Feb 11, 2010)

wags said:


> OMG I am so late at seeing this ! RC my heart goes out to you. I am so saddened and god crying here as I write this . There are times you feel you need to ask yourself if this is the right thing to do and yes it is, if Shane is suffering so badly and from what you say he is, you are yes doing the right thing. Although, it is one of hardest decisions and yet the decision is to ask yourself what is the quality of Shane's life right now. I am so, so, so ,sorry to read this. My blessings to you and of course the most to Shane.


well shane missed his euthanasia appt today. he had an appt at 5:15 but we couldnt get him out of the house. he laid down on the floor and refused to get up, and we couldn't lift him off the ground in this condition.

we called the vet and told them we were running to mcdonalds so that we can buy something to lure him out, but the vet said some BS about him having a family emergency and he would have to leave, and not be back until tuesday. iread online that the garbage collectors come to pick up dead dogs tuesday and friday so maybe he's full of ****?

i had a blow out with my dad, and he ran out of the house, and isnt picking up his phone, so it looks like shane won't be euthanizsed today.

also our vet said he won't come to the house....idk what to do. i raced to mcdonalds and he still wouldnt leave the house .


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## cast71 (Sep 16, 2010)

start looking in the yellow pages for a vet that will come to your house. Otherwise your going to have to take him to a 24 hour emergency vet. Do you have a friend that can help you pick him up and into a car. Be prepared to be bit. Dogs in pain can't help biting. If I was close I would help out. Sorry it's not working out well man. Keep us posted and maybe we can help. Whats your zip code? I'll help you find a vet.


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## RCTRIPLEFRESH5 (Feb 11, 2010)

cast71 said:


> start looking in the yellow pages for a vet that will come to your house. Otherwise your going to have to take him to a 24 hour emergency vet. Do you have a friend that can help you pick him up and into a car. Be prepared to be bit. Dogs in pain can't help biting. If I was close I would help out. Sorry it's not working out well man. Keep us posted and maybe we can help. Whats your zip code? I'll help you find a vet.



well i cant do anyything without my dog...it;s his dog too, and he's the one with the money..and he'd be traumatized if i euthanised shane w/o him here.
i'll pm u my zip


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## cast71 (Sep 16, 2010)

That definitely wouldn't be a good idea to act without your family being involved.


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## DoglovingSenior (Jun 26, 2011)

Your vet Charges to put an animal down?


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

DoglovingSenior said:


> Your vet Charges to put an animal down?


no disrespect intended...yours doesn't?


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## luvMyBRT (Mar 8, 2010)

DoglovingSenior said:


> Your vet Charges to put an animal down?


Mine charged to put Kodi down....as well as a home visit fee to come out to my house. It was a small price to pay to see my sweet boy put to rest.

Dave- I lost Kodi at 9. Don't for one minute think that Shane's cancer is you fault....because it's not.


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## Janet At Nutro (Mar 11, 2011)

All of this must be so hard for you.
I feel so bad for you.
Please know that you and Shane will be in my thoughts and prayers.


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## meggels (May 30, 2010)

I'm very sorry you are having to go through this  I had to put our boxer down when he was 10 years old from cancer and it was very very upsetting.

Sending you lots of hugs.


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## Ania's Mommy (Feb 8, 2009)

I'm probably overstepping my boundaries here, but I'm just going to say it anyway. Because I'm a worrier, and I'm worried about you, your dad, and Shane. SO it's coming from a good place, but really none of my business.

Dave, PLEASE try to make Shane's last remaining time peaceful. I TOTALLY understand why your dad and you would be on edge and tense. Totally. Who wouldn't be? But please don't subject Shane to it right now. Do whatever you can to keep things all butterflies and rainbows whenever you're at home. Please.

As far as getting him out of the house (if you can't find a vet to come to you), is it possible to put Shane on a sheet or something? That might make it easier for you and your dad to pick him up and carry him out to the car because you could just pick up the sheet edges instead of Shane himself. Like a sling. I know you have the muscles for it. :wink:

Please keep us posted. :smile:


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## Herzo (Feb 5, 2011)

I'm so sorry your dad is having such a hard time. You and Shane need him right now. I am so happy I live in a small community. The vets here are use to going to peoples places as it's in the country allot of there calls. Yes they charge for it but as was said before it's a small price to pay. I hope you can find another vet and also that you dad will come around. Good luck am thinking about you.


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## DoglovingSenior (Jun 26, 2011)

magicre said:


> no disrespect intended...yours doesn't?


 The no disrespect wasn't necessary magicre. I already know that  I truly did not know that vets charged for this service when they were your regular vet. My vet did not - whether she and a tech came to my home or I had one put down in her office. I recently sent her a card & a personal note thanking her for ALL that she has done through the years (14) She passed it around for the staff & has it hanging in her office - I will definitely do something more. I am truly fortunate to have her.
Had I known this, I would not have posted-I certainly did not intend to add to Shane's mommys burden. (


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

DoglovingSenior said:


> The no disrespect wasn't necessary magicre. I already know that  I truly did not know that vets charged for this service when they were your regular vet. My vet did not - whether she and a tech came to my home or I had one put down in her office. I recently sent her a card & a personal note thanking her for ALL that she has done through the years (14) She passed it around for the staff & has it hanging in her office - I will definitely do something more. I am truly fortunate to have her.
> Had I known this, I would not have posted-I certainly did not intend to add to Shane's mommys burden. (


well, i kind of thought you would not be offended....but my momma raised me with SOME manners 

i've never ever been as lucky as you.....seriously....everyone charged, from the actual euthanasia to the cremation and the cost of the cremation was determined by whether you wanted just your dog cremated or a group with other dogs....


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## wags (Jan 31, 2009)

RC, I hope you and Shane and your Dad have worked everything out. By the way I really hope Shane got McDonald's also. I am grieving right along with you and you are doing what is best I know you know this. I have had to euthanize e two dogs as I am sure many here have also had to do at one time or another. The one thing I regret is I didn't go into the room with my one dog. My hubby took her in and left her there all alone. God I beat myself up every day for this. But I just could not bring myself to be in the room with her. It was hard for me to accept this was actually happening and I did have small children at the time that I just used for an excuse to not go. I still hate myself for this. So we all do grieve different, you do RC, what's best for you at this time. Do what's in your heart and what is right for you and Shane. I do not regret our decision at the time to put our one dog down, what I regret is not being able to be strong enough to be there for her, but in hindsight RC, I think she understands she knows me I am weak with this stuff so weak! I am really thinking about you and Shane a lot, and praying for you both. Your in my heart.


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## RCTRIPLEFRESH5 (Feb 11, 2010)

RCTRIPLEFRESH5 said:


> well i cant do anything without my dog...it;s his dog too, and he's the one with the money..and he'd be traumatized if i euthanised shane w/o him here.
> i'll pm u my zip


well i feel lie an absolutely terrible selfish person. we just put shane down, which was the right thing to do, but we waited too long..he should have been put down long ago.

we took him to the vets to be put down on thursday. The vet said his ultrasounds were clear, and he was walking ok, and told us we should give him another chance and try the pred and some other meds.

my dad and i knew deep down it was long overdue even thursday. he was crying at home and not getting up, and not eating..even treats...even maxdonalds he barelyw ould eat...and not get up for it..only eay it if we handed it to him.

well anyway, because we didnt put him down on thursday..he had a stroke. because we were selfish he had a stroke. the doctor told us that when she ust put him down. i caused my dog to have a stroke.

and what's worse is i didnt want to put him down today. my dad insisted.

i'm a horrible person. he looked terrible today. keeping him alive for my own sake. i make myself sick


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## Catahoula (Jul 13, 2011)

RCTRIPLEFRESH5 said:


> well i feel lie an absolutely terrible selfish person. we just put shane down, which was the right thing to do, but we waited too long..he should have been put down long ago.
> 
> we took him to the vets to be put down on thursday. The vet said his ultrasounds were clear, and he was walking ok, and told us we should give him another chance and try the pred and some other meds.
> 
> ...


I'm so very sorry you had to put your baby down at such an early age. I've been watching this thread and it's been breaking my heart, but I felt it necessary to reach out to you and say something.

Please please please don't blame yourself for anything and don't beat yourself up for not doing it sooner. There is NO way to know if you were the direct cause of Shane's stroke, which i'm SURE you weren't. It was the cancers fault, deteriorating his systems.

Please give yourself the peace of mind that you did EVERYTHING you could for your baby and made the best decisions that YOU could. Time will heal this wound and the experience will shape you into a new person.


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## Herzo (Feb 5, 2011)

Your not a horrible person you love your dog. Maybe you waited a little to long I think Shane will forgive you. I usually learn things the hard way and maybe you do to. Like Catahoula said this will shape you and we all have to learn some how. I'm guessing you have learned allot from this whole ordeal some that I'm sure you wish you had not but that's what they call life.

Now go cry but don't kick yourself. It will get better with time even though it will never quite go away, you did the best you could.


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## schtuffy (May 17, 2010)

No one here is going to fault you for being selfish in wanting Shane around for a little longer. There was no way you could have known he was going to have a stroke. Your vet even told you to give him another chance, so which dog-loving person in their right mind would not want to cling on to that sliver of hope? I know I would have wanted to believe it too. Hindsight is 20/20, so looking back it's so easy to pick at what you could have done differently. 

Shane may have suffered a little more than you wanted him to, but that's the beauty of owning dogs...they will always forgive us, no matter how selfish, stupid, and full of mistakes we are. They love us unconditionally until the end..and beyond. He forgives you...now with time, you just have to learn to forgive yourself. *Hugs*


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## wags (Jan 31, 2009)

You did the right thing. Your little Shane is in the right place now. He will always be with you in your heart. Dogs are our love, our treasure, our special treat in life, we do what is best for them and we are correct in our beliefs in them. No one can take your heartache away, but just know we are all standing by your side thinking of you at this tough time. Blessings to you and to Shane who is now roaming free, pain free and until you both meet again, He will always be with you in your heart. Remember RC, dogs are forgiving creatures. Shane will never blame you, he will always just Love you no matter what. Your a wonderful person you loved your dog to the fullest. What more can an animal ask for but unconditional love and you did just that gave Shane unconditional love, which Shane takes with him to the next realm. Blessings to you and to Shane.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

I'm crying for you Dave. You are going through all of us on here, our absolute worst nightmare.
You didn't do anything wrong at all, he would not have known. I mean, the vet backed you up by telling you to wait, and they know a lot more than you do. Be in peace Dave, you gave your pup the best home he could possibly have had, he couldn't have done any better than to have you as a Dad. Imagine if he was with another owner who didn't care about his illness, what would have have gone through then? You did right by him and thats all any dog could ask for.
Peace and hugs to you and your family. I'm thinking of you.


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## SerenityFL (Sep 28, 2010)

RCTRIPLEFRESH5 said:


> well i feel lie an absolutely terrible selfish person. we just put shane down, which was the right thing to do, but we waited too long..he should have been put down long ago.
> 
> we took him to the vets to be put down on thursday. The vet said his ultrasounds were clear, and he was walking ok, and told us we should give him another chance and try the pred and some other meds.
> 
> ...


Jeez, RC, you're breaking my heart here, you really are. I don't typically cry for people but you're bringing the water works because I can imagine myself saying these exact words at some point. You're NOT a bad person! You are NOT! You're just someone who wasn't ready to let go and 8 years old is NOT old for a dog, I don't care what anyone says, it doesn't feel like enough time.

I can only imagine that even though you saw how Shane was doing, there was still that tiny piece in you wishing for a miracle or bit of good news, that maybe things would get better...maybe, must maybe. And then the vet said, "Hey, ya know, this isn't so bad and he is walking so maybe just try this and wait a little longer" and that tiny piece of you that was hoping for something nabbed on to that and didn't let go.

You know what that makes you, RC? HUMAN! With real feelings, real emotions and real love. You LOVED your dog and you didn't want to let go yet...you're not all knowing, you can't predict the future and you were grasping for any tiny bit of hope...that is NORMAL!

You would have felt incredibly guilty anyway, you've already looked for reasons why it's your fault that your dog got cancer...it's NOT your fault and now, you're looking for reasons to charge yourself with more wrongs when Shane had a stroke...you're going to feel guilt, I think it's natural for anyone to look back and wonder what they could have done, should have done differently, what maybe they did that caused the illness and/or death of their pet, why didn't they do this, that or the other...and it's EASIER by far, to sit here and say, "It is NOT your fault, you are not guilty of anything but loving that dog", than to be the one in the situation. I know, I've been on your side of it, I've questioned myself, I've beat myself up, I've cursed myself and I have made myself sick telling myself that I failed my pets. I have gone so far as to say things to myself like, "You don't deserve animals. You don't deserve to have pets. You should have to live alone in agony for the rest of your life because you FAILED!"

Don't do that to yourself. You loved that dog. Shane knows you loved him. Shane was ready, you weren't quite ready but Shane is now at peace and waiting for you. He forgives you, he understands. Please forgive yourself, Dave.


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## KC23 (Nov 17, 2010)

I'm very sorry for your loss, RC. I agree w/the other posters--you just wanted a little more time and hoped things would improve. Please don't blame yourself--your dog loved you very much.


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## RCTRIPLEFRESH5 (Feb 11, 2010)

KC23 said:


> I'm very sorry for your loss, RC. I agree w/the other posters--you just wanted a little more time and hoped things would improve. Please don't blame yourself--your dog loved you very much.


he was in bad enough hpe on thursday that he should have been put down, however he got drastically worse today. on thursday he was still in a small way shane. he walked once we lfited him off the ground and he was alert and happy to see us.

today he was so dreadful to watch. his tongue was sticking out of his mouth an odd way, and he ws drooling, and he was lifeless, didnt move at all, didnt acknowledge us. when we put him in the car he kept falling off the seat..and on the table he was whimpering in the vet's.
i have to feel guilty. this stroke caused him so much paun, that would hav been avoided if i wsn;t selfish.

im also having guilt about neglecting him at times when he was well. i would spend time on the computer instead of playing with him...and also in these later stages.. i would get mad at him for whimpering because i couldn;t sleep.

i wasn;t a good dog owner. i even sometimes would get mad at him for wanting to go to the bathroom when i was sleeping.

i have a lot of regrets...i loved him, and did a lot of right but also wrong as well...and im devastated he had the stroke and was in this condition.


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

Don't you feel bad about anything. You gave Shane a good long life and a fighting chance. 

My deepest condolences and sympathies during this difficult time of Shane's passing. He was a lucky dog to have such a wonderful and devoted family to care and love for him. Find peace and comfort in the memories and knowing that he is without pain now.


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## SerenityFL (Sep 28, 2010)

RCTRIPLEFRESH5 said:


> he was in bad enough hpe on thursday that he should have been put down, however he got drastically worse today. on thursday he was still in a small way shane. he walked once we lfited him off the ground and he was alert and happy to see us.
> 
> today he was so dreadful to watch. his tongue was sticking out of his mouth an odd way, and he ws drooling, and he was lifeless, didnt move at all, didnt acknowledge us. when we put him in the car he kept falling off the seat..and on the table he was whimpering in the vet's.
> i have to feel guilty. this stroke caused him so much paun, that would hav been avoided if i wsn;t selfish.
> ...


I'm really sorry for you, RC. I really am. I don't think you're the first person who gets upset with their pet when the pet is asking for their attention or needing to use the bathroom at 3am...

You will probably have guilt the rest of your life. There's nothing you can do to change anything. In time, when and if you are ready, remember Shane and your regrets and use that to better the life of another pet. And really, Shane, like all dogs, is very forgiving.


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## luvMyBRT (Mar 8, 2010)

I'm so sorry Dave. RIP sweet Shane.


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

i'm sorry this turned into an ordeal and didn't happen the way you wanted.....but you did right by shane....rip.


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## RachelsaurusRexU (Sep 4, 2010)

Please don't beat yourself up about anything. It's so obvious that you loved (and still love) him. You gave him a great life and you helped him to leave this world when it was his time. Remember that. Instead of the nitpicking and the what ifs, just remember all that you have given him. He knew it and hopefully you can come to realize it too. Big hugs. 

RIP Shane.


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## MollyWoppy (Mar 19, 2010)

And, don't forget Dave, I truly believe dogs are put in our lives so we can learn from them. What you went through with Shane throughout his life can only make you a better parent for your next pup. 
I cringe when I look back at some of my dogs and what I did and didn't do, but with each pup I learnt and every dog I had after that benefited from those lessons.
Also, you don't know for sure that Shane was whimpering with pain, he was probably disorientated and probably not even conscious of what was going on around him. 
You were a great Dad to Shane, you'll come to realise that in time to come. Things are still very raw and you have the horrible grieving process to go through yet. I hate to say it because it seems so blase and cold, but it's only time that will bring you peace and acceptance.
RIP poor little Shane, you were a great pup. Hugs.


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## schtuffy (May 17, 2010)

RCTRIPLEFRESH5 said:


> he was in bad enough hpe on thursday that he should have been put down, however he got drastically worse today. on thursday he was still in a small way shane. he walked once we lfited him off the ground and he was alert and happy to see us.
> 
> today he was so dreadful to watch. his tongue was sticking out of his mouth an odd way, and he ws drooling, and he was lifeless, didnt move at all, didnt acknowledge us. when we put him in the car he kept falling off the seat..and on the table he was whimpering in the vet's.
> i have to feel guilty. this stroke caused him so much paun, that would hav been avoided if i wsn;t selfish.
> ...


I know how hard this must all be on you, and that no matter how many of us are telling you it's not your fault, you can't see it from our point of view and all you feel is overwhelming guilt. So I just want you to know that when you lose someone you love, it's natural to feel the way you are feeling...and to look back and think about all the things you should have done. But when some time has passed and you are feeling a little better, come back and think about what everyone is telling you. We all get exasperated with our dogs at some time or another, even though we love them. 

We all neglect our dogs to some point...when we go out shopping, go out to dinner, and all the other things that we humans like to do. That does not make you a bad person or bad dog owner. I can tell by the way you talk about him how much you loved him, and the fact that you are here grieving proves that to me as well. It will hurt less with time, I promise....and as your pain eases a bit, it will become easier to remember all the wonderful times you had with Shane.


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