# just wanted to air my frustrations



## xchairity_casex (Oct 8, 2011)

So my sister who is 27 years old thru a fit to get a poodle 2 years ago refused my advice about looking for a good breeder as she wanted one "NOW" so she spent 500 dollars on a mini poodle puppy named kira who by the age of only 4 months had bad knees (pop out whenever she would run around)
well i tried to do most of her training i was the one who took her for walks and i was the one who would take her swimming for her knees. 
i would lay down rules and my sister and her son would break them telling me "its my dog not yours" i even would try teaching Kira cute little tricks only to have my sister step in and say "no i dont like that its dumb"
so kira has always been allowed to mual people who vist,mual dogs she meets,bark and yap at other animals,chase the cats and generally do what she pleases.
shes incredabley smart and i truley belive she was bred to be extra high energy for agility as she could deff be matched to 12 border collies on speed and win in the energy department.
ive always tried my best to excersize her the best i could getting her 4 hours a day off lead running time she was annoying but manageable i would only have to ask her to do somthing 10 times before she would do it.

well my sister moved out and wanted ME to take care of kira alright no problem i decided well it has gotten to be a problem a very BIG problem....
my sister keeps visting becuase i am also takeing care of her 8 year old son. well she comes with her boyfreind and they get Kira all riled up and bouncing off the walls and yelling at cesar for even moving (her bf is terrafied of Cesar) so Kira has now suddenly so insane and some very bad problems have begun popping up this past 2 weeks.
shes chaseing my cats...BAD they cant move without her jumping them
shes begun eatting cesar poop begging to go out as soon as Cesar comes back inside
running off while off lead and chaseing down other dogs and people to bark at
ignoreing all the commands i give her
trash picking HORRABLY shes refusing to eat dog food to raid the trash
guarding toys and ignoreing her own toys to steal Cesars if i give her a treat then Cesar a treat she will ignore hers to try taking his.

im trying everything i can ive tried putting her on the treadmill also but even 6 hours a day is NOT ENOUGH for her! Cesar is perfect for me after 2 hours hes good hes relaxed and chill her i cannot keep up with her! im trying everything i can but after 4 hours of excersize then 3 hours of mental stimulation i try to sit down and relax after ive worked then come home to help with my nephew im exhuasted! 
and that dang dog starts in chaseing the cats,garbage picking,barking incessintly she does too now that my sister has been visting allowing her to dow hatever she wants shes begun to bark at everything shes never been a big barker but now i leave the room and its "BARK BARK BARK BARK BAREK" if you try to stop her she runs and hides ive tried keeping a lead on her doesnt work!

i dont know WHATS going on with her but i cant take it anymore and my sister doesnt want to take her! im at my wits end here! im almost tempted to find her a new home i love her shes a doll and silly as can be but lord almighty i dont have time to entertain a dog for 12 hours a day! though i try im just failing horrably at it
and my sister comes in i say "dontl et her jump up on you" and my sister says "its my dog" and gets her going. i say "then take her with you if its your dog" and she whines at my mom "mom im too busy to take her now please take care of my baby!"

seriously what should i do here?


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## Dude and Bucks Mamma (May 14, 2011)

Personally, I would tell her, "Either you take this dog back and take care of her since she IS your dog or I find a new home for her. She is no longer welcome here because you encourage bad behaviour when you are here."

I wouldn't be able to handle that. For me, if someone's dog is staying with me it's, "My house, my rules." Obviously I would respect someone's rules for their own dog such as not being allowed to have something or not being allowed to do something but my rules would apply everywhere else. I would not tolerate her coming over and yelling at MY dog. Cesar should honestly come before your sister and her bf. Cesar lives there. Your sister's bf doesn't. If he is afraid of your dog he shouldn't be coming over to your house. 

Get rid of the dog if she refuses to take him back. What does she think the rest of the world does when they are busy? We don't get rid of OUR dogs.


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## xchairity_casex (Oct 8, 2011)

shes alawys done this sh*t to me she begs and screams for a pet my mom gets it for her 3 days in "i dont want it i want this instead here you take it" iveended up taking care of 12 dogs,2 cats, countless hamsters,birds,fish and 14 rats,2 rabbits,a ferret,and a guinea pig that way.
i just hate the thought of poor kira having to find a new home becuase of this but i really do not have the time or energy for this dog not if i want to keep working.

i worked very hard on this little dog the past two years trying trying to turn her into a well mannerd dog unlike my sisters other dogs i tried to teach Kira to walk on a loose lead but then my sister would let her son take her for a walk and i would try insturcting him how to make her walk on a loose lead by simply shortening the slack my sister thru a fit i tried teaching Kira not to bolt out open doors when she was a puppy becuase she would run out to greet people then go crazy running all over the yard till we had to catch her my sister found out and would pick Kira up or call her to her everytiem she would see my working with her and yell at me "its my dog thats stupid"


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## Liz (Sep 27, 2010)

I have three younger sisters. They did a lot of this growing up. I don't play anymore. As hard as it sounds until she has consequences she will remain a spoiled child. I would give her back the dog asap and let her deal with her problem. You will be helping her although she and your momeill probably give you a hard time. I know the dog pays but unless you plan to rescue her forever I would stop it now. Jmho


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## xchairity_casex (Oct 8, 2011)

it saddens me to say the past 5 or 6 years i have tried not dealing with it ive let several hamsters,fish and birds die for her to see it was her own fault from neglect. the last pet before kira was a guinea pig she kept his cage in her bathroom all summer near the window with no screen his cage was filthy and he had maggots in his fur due to all the flys i took him and gave him to a rescue where i told the women who ran it the whole story right in front of my sister who was to embarressed to say a word the women also was embarressed and didnt know what to say since my sister was right there and she was a nice lady to nice to say anything mean. i had hoped my sister had learned her lesson...guess not


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## Liz (Sep 27, 2010)

I really, really understand. My sisters seem stuck at about 16 years old in some areas of their lives. It is really hard but she has to be held accountable. If you are truly worried for a pup I would personally place her or give her to a rescue if your sister is not going to take responsibility. At least you will know you tried your best, but I would definately stay out of the middle in the future. I am sorry you have to go through this. You always feel like the bad one even though you are just being responsible and it is hard to see an animal suffer. hwell:


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## SpooOwner (Oct 1, 2010)

I have a family member who adopts a new dog every year or so, does nothing to train or socialize the dog, confines it to a small space (a bathroom, the yard), and after a few months turns the dog over to a shelter. It upsets everyone else in my family (even her husband), but there is nothing we can do to change her behavior. She just doesn't care. It hurts so much. We've tried buying obedience lessons as birthday/holiday gifts, toys for the dog, etc., but the fundamental problem is that she doesn't value the dog. We can't change that.

As a poodle lover, it also pains me that so many poodles come out of puppy mills - puppy mills are, of course, inherently terrible, but I also hate that the image of the breed is so distorted by these breeding practices. Small poodles (minis and toys) are especially subject to puppy mills, but standard poodles suffer the consequences of the images these puppy mill dogs create. I'm always surprised to hear someone say they don't like Poodles, but they like other hunting breeds - Viszlas, Weims, Spaniels, Pointers, etc. - because these are the breeds most similar to Poodles. Poodles - large or small - should not be yappy, ill-tempered, or high-strung. These _are not_ traits of poodles. These _are_ traits of puppy mill dogs of _any_ breed. OK, off my soap box. Back to regularly scheduled programming ....


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## brandypup (Jan 23, 2012)

Ok first lots of hugs. Family can be some of the worse culprates! But they are still family. 

In any case I think you are still the perfect home for her. you understand her needs and you can help her be the dog she is supposed to be. What *I* would do honestly is ban your sister from seeing her. Ban anyone who isn't on your page now to see her. You can tell them she is in trianing and not allowed to interact with people who do not support her trianing and well being. I woudl also chip her in my name so if she demanded her back I would also make her pay for your time holding and trianing her. (if giving back to her is something to do it sounds awful no offense) 

If you honeslty can not take any more then find a rescue to help place her in a home that can. 

But them I am outside looking on and can be a hard arse. I am not in yoru shoes. Good luck in your descions.


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## nupe (Apr 26, 2011)

I am also just looking from the outside in....but with that said ...People only do what you allow them to do!!....I say if you are really at your wits in, find another home for the dog. What can your sister really do if she is not caring for the dog?? NOTHING BUT WHINE ABOUT IT!!


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## Noodlesmadison (Sep 18, 2011)

xchairity_casex said:


> it saddens me to say the past 5 or 6 years i have tried not dealing with it ive let several hamsters,fish and birds die for her to see it was her own fault from neglect.


Wow... I don't even know what to say to this.
You don't punish animals by letting them suffer and die just to teach somebody a lesson.


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## xchairity_casex (Oct 8, 2011)

Noodlesmadison said:


> Wow... I don't even know what to say to this.
> You don't punish animals by letting them suffer and die just to teach somebody a lesson.


i agree with you whole heartedly and i hated every second of it but at the time i was working full time babysitting 2 of the worst kids youd ever meet plus i had a dog who was suffering from aggression issues i was trying to work with i would go to work at 8 am and not be home untill 1 am becuase there mom hated dealing wtih her kids also when i came home i had to take my dog for a walk and do some training with him get some sleep and get up to take the dog for another long walk at 6:30am and be to work by 8am. i didnt have the energy to stay awake all night and clean her birds or hamster cages or feed and water them i tried when i could but it wasnt enough and when they died i told her it was becuase she neglected them nothing else not to mention i didnt have the money to buy there food and needs. sure i was working alot of hours babysitting 2 kids but i was working thru a program from teh state called todays child they pay BUT they ONLY pay 1 dollar per child so i was making 2 dollars an hour.

and your right i have let her get away with this by always taking care of her pets or finding them new homes for her then she goes and gets somthing else and im left to either A-deal with its care which i usually do becuase i dont want it to suffer or B- re-home it which i have done on numrous occassions becuase i cant deal with it anymore. so now its expected of me.

i would like to keep her but i just keep wondering how im going to be able to work and still get her enough excersize? shes so high strung and hyper its insane people who come in ask whats wrong with her becuase she acts like she has ADHD or OCD she will run as fast as she can in circles bouncing off the couch the chairs and sometimes even the walls,peoples legs you couldnt even pet her if you wanted to and thats AFTER 4 hours of off lead running time
she would be absolutly great in a household with older kids who would play with her all the time she just loves kids she loves little kids too but shes too hyper for little kids.
im not sure yet my sister is coming to vist in 2 weeks and when she does im going to tell her either take the dog or else.

or else what im still not sure if i want to keep her or find her a new home i hate the thought of up rooting her from the only home shes known but if i dont have the time she needs becuase i already have other pets i have 3 cats who need daily care,i have 3 rats who need some attention to everyday i have an 80 gallon fish tank that needs daily maintanece and i have all my birds.

perhapes ill start a new thread asking for some ideas on keeping Kira entertained and her energy in check and if i can find things that really work well for her ill probably keep her.


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## lucky (Jan 8, 2011)

I agree with the other posts, just give the dog back to her, the more you help her out the more animals she will get and thus the more animals will suffer. Its a very vicious circle I know.

My sister is similar. She has pets, gets bored of them and takes them to shelters. She has had about 15 dogs total (she let 2 breed and ended up with 6 puppies) some were lucky to get homes but most of them ended up at shelters. Currently she has a staffordshire bull terrier x JRT, he spends his time alone in the garden with his kennel and a bowl of cheap kibble

Needless to say I will not associate myself with my sister any longer


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## xchairity_casex (Oct 8, 2011)

> Needless to say I will not associate myself with my sister any longer


thats exactly what i told my bf i said "once my sister moves out with her bf im not going to deal with her anymore im done with her"
yet somehow im here again for the very LAST time


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## lucky (Jan 8, 2011)

xchairity_casex said:


> thats exactly what i told my bf i said "once my sister moves out with her bf im not going to deal with her anymore im done with her"
> yet somehow im here again for the very LAST time


I just cannot be bothered with her due to her heartless attitude towards her dogs that shes had in the past and the dog she has now. I think its awful that she ignores her dog 99% of the time, he has shelter, food (if you can call the cheapest kibble that) and water so there's not much anyone can do. Truth is she just sees him a an object, not a family member and I just can't get past that with her. 

I completely feel for you, I really do. The difference is that my sister lives 70 miles away from me so I never have to bump into her.


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## Itty bitty Kitty (Dec 26, 2011)

Sorry, your sister is how old? 5?

I agree with everyone else. Put your foot down. Enough. You don't deserve such disrespect that's making you stress out like this. You have been MORE than generous to her. Your sister needs to learn responsibility and that she can't whine her way out of a tight spot. Especially if Kira is presenting potential dangerous behavior, such as chasing your cats. Show that you no longer tolerate her bullsh*t so she stops crying to you as her safety net. It's enraging that she's taking this much advantage over to the point I don't think anyone would blame you if you just dropped all communication with her. That may be cruel, but with all the things happening, I'm wondering if cutting off her resources may be the only option? Your sister is clearly unfit to own a pet. I'm wondering if it's possible to classify it as abuse enough for a possible report? Is there a reason your mom always gives into your banshee sibling's demands?

Sorry if what I'm saying is offensive. I just get upset when I hear about people like that.


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## Makovach (Jan 24, 2012)

I know how you feel!

It sucks. Its hard. My sister has three boxers. Tazer is the oldest. and the mother of the other two. She is actually the mother of my Tucker as well. They are very dumb when it comes to animals. They dont watch their dogs and they let them breed when ever. Tucker is only 6 months to the day younger than his brother and sister that my sister kept from the first litter. I took Tucker at 4 weeks old because he was half dead. He was covered in fleas, full of round, whip and tape worms, severly anemic. I walked in their house and took Tucker and left. They started to yell and complain and I told them to go ahead and call the cops. They will get in trouble for animal cruelty. They droped it.

What ive had to do to my sister is call her out on it. I warned her that if they did not start to properly care for their dogs, i would report them to the ASPCA and the Sheriff. I have reported my sister and her husband on many occasions for neglect. and they have had to pay many fines, the county made them take their animals to the vet and back for fallow ups. It helped a little, but their dogs are still in terrible shape.

I would take the dog. I would tell your sister to take a hike. Let her know that she has no business owning an animal if she can not take care of them. Tell her if your watching her and paying for her care, you wont let her see her if she is not going to respect your wishes. When she comes over keep her on a leash and tell your sister not to touch her untill you allow it. If she wont respect your wishes lock the dog up when your sister is over. As far as her bf. Tell him to get over it and they need to be respectful to Ceaser or get out! They have no right comeing into your house and yelling at your dog. 

If you decide to keep her, i would start her an a new, strick life plan like NILIF (nothing in life is free). My dad got a toy poodle and he was CRAZY. I took everything away from him and he didnt get ANYTHING (Food, toys, treats, attention, go for a walk, or have any freedoms) unless he did what i told him. It didnt take him long to catch on. 
Nothing in Life is Free

This is what i raise all my dogs on. Its my daily life so they know who's incharge and know they have to listen to me, or have nothing. I also use it when i bring in rescues. Its helped me with hyper dogs, agressive dogs and fearful dogs. 

If you do give the dog back to ur sister, keep an eye on her. Report her for ANYTHING she does wrong. When she doesnt have water out for her or isnt exercising her or leaves her penned with no activity. 

It seems to me that if you rehome the dog she will just go get something else. 

I really hope you can find something that works! I feel your pain! Good luck and i hope this helps!


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## xchairity_casex (Oct 8, 2011)

Kira and Cesar are both NILF lifestyle (right now)
i have been doing this with her since my sister moved out (about 2 months now?) she still acts like she rules the roost sometiems however
i think (pray) i found a good way of dealing with Kira ive started teaching her to retreive me things and the names of items like pen,sock,glove,slipper,shoe,tennis ball,towel ect (obviously im not teachig her all those at once) but so far in one days she caught on fantastically shes already got what "bring me" means im useing "bring me" as the universal word then going to teach her the names of items so it will be "bring me towel" or "bring me sock" so far shes REALLY great with the word tennis ball she knows what the tennis ball is even with other balls and toys she hesitates a bit but if i say "tennis ball" again she can grab it and bring it too me! im so darned excited for her! im still not able to give her any more physical excersize but hopefully all this mental stimulation will help her becuase once she has a good amount of words learned all i will have to do if she startes getting bothersome is just sit my fat butt on the couch after a long day and just keeping asking her to get me things!
oh i sure hope this works!


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## Dude and Bucks Mamma (May 14, 2011)

Noodlesmadison said:


> Wow... I don't even know what to say to this.
> You don't punish animals by letting them suffer and die just to teach somebody a lesson.


What else could she do? I have watched animals that belonged to my cousins die. These weren't just hamsters, and fish. They were goats, horses, dogs, and cats. The worst was watching them drive past their female mastiff, Tinkerbell, for days, while she slowly died next to the driveway. It wasn't in my authority to do anything. There wasn't anything I could do. I had no authority to take her off the property and I had no car to do it anyway. It isn't always in our power to do something. I have done what I could. I took their thoroughbred mare and did what I could do find a home for their male mastiff. I was also under 18 at the time the female died and I was forbidden by my mother to call the ASPCA on them. It still pains me, to this day, that there was nothing I could do but I don't see how your statement was warranted. She is clearly doing everything she can for this dog and this is not the first animal she has had to care for.


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## Dude and Bucks Mamma (May 14, 2011)

xchairity_casex said:


> thats exactly what i told my bf i said "once my sister moves out with her bf im not going to deal with her anymore im done with her"
> yet somehow im here again for the very LAST time


You just have to do it. My hubby is going through the same thing with his older brother. He causes much unneeded drama in our lives and Nick always gets blamed for it because he married me. I "changed him". He is the same guy I knew in high school (albeit more mature!) but I "ruined him". His brother thinks family should always come first even when married. He thinks that, whenever they need something, Nick should drop everything he is doing and rush to their rescue. He financially supported them for years... Until I came along and showed him that he shouldn't have to be paying for his mother's bills, his older brother's rent, and his younger brother's cell phone. That's when I ruined him, I guess. No matter how many times they "bury the hatchet" as his family calls it, his brother finds something else to call Nick in a rage about. I believe him to be mentally unstable. Both of us are done with him. Nick hasn't talked to him in months and he has admitted to it being a huge relief to not have to deal with Nate anymore. There is much less drama in our lives. I really think that you would be happier without your sister in your life. Ultimately, you know the situation better than any of us but I honestly wouldn't associate with her if she were MY sister. I do wish you the best of luck. I know how you feel. 

I have always been told that family will always be there for you, no matter what, but my experience has been that family will always be there for you... until you do something they don't agree with. Then they will happily turn their backs on you and honestly, sometimes... it's for the best.


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## Puddlypoo (Jan 29, 2012)

Noodlesmadison said:


> Wow... I don't even know what to say to this.
> You don't punish animals by letting them suffer and die just to teach somebody a lesson.


I don't believe it is xchairity_casex who is letting the animals suffer, it's the sister who has neglected her responsibility and if any animal of hers dies, it is because the sister neglected care for them.


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## Noodlesmadison (Sep 18, 2011)

Dude and Bucks Mamma said:


> What else could she do? I have watched animals that belonged to my cousins die. These weren't just hamsters, and fish. They were goats, horses, dogs, and cats. The worst was watching them drive past their female mastiff, Tinkerbell, for days, while she slowly died next to the driveway. It wasn't in my authority to do anything. There wasn't anything I could do. I had no authority to take her off the property and I had no car to do it anyway. It isn't always in our power to do something. I have done what I could. I took their thoroughbred mare and did what I could do find a home for their male mastiff. I was also under 18 at the time the female died and I was forbidden by my mother to call the ASPCA on them. It still pains me, to this day, that there was nothing I could do but I don't see how your statement was warranted. She is clearly doing everything she can for this dog and this is not the first animal she has had to care for.


And its your job as a human to look out for animals that we are responsible for. We domesticated them. This is animal cruelty. You havethe responsibility to call the aspca. as a caring human. You disturb me


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## Noodlesmadison (Sep 18, 2011)

Animal cruelty and neglect is a CRIME and morally inhumane. To watch and let somebody neglect/abuse their animal and not do anything about it, makes you just as guilty of animal cruelty. You have the obligation to call the authorities on someone who neglects/abuses an animal. Family or not!
To watch a dog die in a driveway and not do anything about it is extremely cruel and should be punished.

If my MOTHER/FATHER/SIBLINGS abused an animal - I'd send them to jail. You do not neglect an animal or just stand there and watch someone else do it!


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## Rodeo (Sep 11, 2011)

Noodlesmadison said:


> And its your job as a human to look out for animals that we are responsible for. We domesticated them. This is animal cruelty. You havethe responsibility to call the aspca. as a caring human. You disturb me


Your harsh judgement disturbs me. It is not her responsibility to baby sit her sister and take on every animal her sister dumps. It's just unrealistic. If she saves every animal her sister gets tired of it will just keep happening.


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## Noodlesmadison (Sep 18, 2011)

Rodeo said:


> Your harsh judgement disturbs me. It is not her responsibility to baby sit her sister and take on every animal her sister dumps. It's just unrealistic. If she saves every animal her sister gets tired of it will just keep happening.


This is why the authorities need to get involved. ASAP


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## xchairity_casex (Oct 8, 2011)

if i may
like i said before at the tie i was babysitting and also at the time i was not making enough money to move out on my own i was making a dollar an hour per child thats 2 dollars an hour.
i have no other family who would take me in and at the time my living at home with my own pets (my cats and my puppy) if someone had come into the household and seen her animals neglected more then likley they would have removed my animals too. i dont know how it works in other states but here if they go into a home and deem a person neglecting there animals they never allow ANY animals to go into the residence with that person again.
so even though my cats and my puppy were up to date on shots,being fed good food (thats when i started my cats on felidae and my puppy was on a homemade diet) and never englected i feared they would also have to remove them with my sister living there.
i have already told my mom that if my sister brings a pet into this place shes in now im going to wait exactly one month (to give her time to neglect it enough so it looks bad) and im calling someone on her untill she canth ave anymore animals ever. becuase the last time my sister visted she was looking to get a "teacup" pig for her 1 bedroom apartment.
and i know what will happen if she does get one too it wont be fed,waterd or trained and will be crapping all over the place and shes so nasty she wont clean it up. but i cant find out shes got one then call becuase when she first brings them ni she puts down a bowl or water and food i need to wait long enough for ehr to actally neglect it otherwise they will go in be like "oh everything is fine" and ignore me from then on.

but as of Kira im keeping her myself. this past week she has been doing very very good with her training she knows the words tennis ball and pen i can now drop a pen on the floor and ask her to "bring me pen" and she will walk over and pick it up and bring it too me
i swear this is the quickest learning dog i ever met!


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