# Informing people about dog nutrition- Raw and kibble help needed



## Makovach (Jan 24, 2012)

So yesterday we went to visit with my BF's family. Well, needless to say, his mother just had to open the door. She was telling me how horrible I am to feed my dogs raw bones. How terrible it is to feed meat that is freezer burnt, how they will get diseases and worms from the meats. You you can pull it on raw, she did. My goal of this thread is to try and get information on getting some one to open their eyes and stop fallowing the crap that has been engraved into their minds. I put this in this section, because it is a bit about raw, as well as kibble. 

She has a mini schnauzer. She is about 4 years old I do believe. This dogs coat is dry and brittle. Her skin is dry and scale like. She has dandruff, ear problems, smells like yeast, has yeast spots all over. I could go on and on. I was giving her a scratch on the back and she started digging at herself like crazy. She told me not to scratch her because she will get "schnauzer bumps", and only to lightly rub her from head to tail. I'd never heard of this, so I looked into it. Everything I read said that it is from black heads that get puss infected and bump up. They usually result from poor nutrition, poor hygiene, and flea allergies. 

She eats Purine kibbles. 

I tried to talk to her about nutrition, but she is just so bull headed and comes up with stuff (my boyfriend said that more than likely, she just makes it up) to counteract what I say. Even though I told her logical, scientific reasons as to why she was incorrect. I talked to her about the problems with corn, byproducts, artificial crap, chemicals, dyes, and every thing else I could remember right off the top of my head about kibble. I really feel like this dog will benefit greatly from better food. My boyfriend and I are debating on buying her a 15lb bag of Acana duck and barlet pear just to show her, as I think a 15lb bag would last her a month or so with her small dog, which should be long enough to see improvement. I even offered to professionally groom her for free. 

Her reasons on why raw is so terrible are all the usual. Which I debunked every one of them and she would just come up with another. The one that got me the most was the freezer burn. I told her all freezer burn is is the formation of ice crystals on meat. And that it does not change the make up of the meat, it only affects the texture. She swore up and down that freezer burn will kill my dogs, but couldn't ever give me a reason why. 

How can I get her to see the light? She is very rude, she tells me I must not love my dogs because the "horrible" things I'm doing to them. Well, in m eyes, she needs to open her eyes and see all the injustice she is doing to her dog unknowingly because she doesn't want to listen or research. 

I'm working on getting a booklet made up. I'm going to get a lot of papers, reports, and scientific evidence on nutrition for dogs. I'm going to point out both raw and kibble. I'm want the stuff to go over the basics of good and bad, as well as a little more in depth. I want to make her see the difference (hence debating on buying her good kibble to try). Anything anyone can help with from the raw of kibble view, I would greatly appreciate. I want everything to be in here. I will even be touching on holistic a bit. She doesn't do vaccines because she doesn't want to pay the money. I don't like that reasoning, so I want her to see why I don't do vaccines for the health reasons. But mostly I want the good and bad the balance of food for kibble as well as raw. I will also be looking through pages on DFC to find more stuff, so you may get messaged asking if I can use it!

Thanks!


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## BearMurphy (Feb 29, 2012)

i know it sucks that it's your boyfriend's mom but try not to let it get to you. as long as she doesn't have to watch your dogs for you, it shouldn't matter. just be proud that you know better for your dogs. maybe you can get her to switch to better kibble since her dog is so miserable, but it seems like she might be the type of person who won't change. i have found that the more you suggest something about someone's pet the more they become deaf to it so sometimes you just have to do nothing unless they come to you with questions


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## Liz (Sep 27, 2010)

This is not one I would fight. She doesn't sound ready or open at all to discussing feeding a dog. It really would just cause more discord and problems than it would solve. I would just let it roll off my back and one day when she is ready be prepared to help her see the light.


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## Makovach (Jan 24, 2012)

BearMurphy said:


> i know it sucks that it's your boyfriend's mom but try not to let it get to you. as long as she doesn't have to watch your dogs for you, it shouldn't matter. just be proud that you know better for your dogs. maybe you can get her to switch to better kibble since her dog is so miserable, but it seems like she might be the type of person who won't change. i have found that the more you suggest something about someone's pet the more they become deaf to it so sometimes you just have to do nothing unless they come to you with questions


I know what you are saying, but EVERY time we see her, she brings it up and wants to debate about it. I don't bring it up, I morely defend myself. I want to be prepared next time with something to show her the answers to every thing she doubts. I feel like she doesn't get it with just words. She will never watch my dogs for me. I only have about two or three people I know that I would trust my dogs with. I would like her to switch kibble, and I know a lot of people are skeptical about buying the expensive kibble because what if it doesn't work. Thats where I thought we could just buy a bad, and offer it to her saying I got it for free from work, and won't use it because I feed raw. I'm sure she would take it if we approached her in that way. And I think it would help to open her up by seeing the difference in her dog. She is the kind of person that loves her dog and would go to the end of the earth for her dog, she just has all the wrong information. 

I've never suggested anything at this point. I only defend what she argues to be wrong on my part. She will ask me questions about nutrition or training or anything, just to bash on my answers and tell me I'm wrong.




Liz said:


> This is not one I would fight. She doesn't sound ready or open at all to discussing feeding a dog. It really would just cause more discord and problems than it would solve. I would just let it roll off my back and one day when she is ready be prepared to help her see the light.


She brings up feeding and whats "right and wrong" constantly. She thinks she knows all there is to know and thinks she can educate people. Thats what she is trying to do to me, educate me on proper nutrition because I'm "doing it wrong" in her mind. Do you think offering her the Acana would be a bad idea? Or possibly a good start?


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## 7766 (Sep 20, 2011)

My BF's mom and I have had similar conversations. Not about raw, but about good kibble. She complains her dog won't eat the Kibble N Bits she buys. But she gets a McDonalds biscuit every other day. I don't know little dog breeds very well, but she is about the size of a Shi Tzu , or at least she should be. She now looks like a barrel. I have told her, she needs to stop feeding her fast food, and not to free feed her and she will eat. I have offered to buy her some grain fee kibble to try. She just tells me all this stuff I am reading is wrong, and that vets have proven it.

For sake of family peace I just don't argue. I know you just want to help the dog, but sometimes it's better not to.


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## Liz (Sep 27, 2010)

All I am saying is this may not be a hill to die on. From reading my posts you know I don't let much slide but I won't argue with family members as that makes life too difficult. I have some who routinely go on the attack and generally I just smile and gently tell them I will not be discussing these issues with them and move onto something else. Remember one person cannot argue effectively all alone. They can try but tend to look a bit psychotic. LOL


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## Makovach (Jan 24, 2012)

Liz said:


> All I am saying is this may not be a hill to die on. From reading my posts you know I don't let much slide but I won't argue with family members as that makes life too difficult. I have some who routinely go on the attack and generally I just smile and gently tell them I will not be discussing these issues with them and move onto something else. Remember one person cannot argue effectively all alone. They can try but tend to look a bit psychotic. LOL


I guess I'll let it go for now. Next time she brings it up, I will tell her it is probably best to not discuss it. 

I would still like to get stuff together to help others though. I was just thinking about all the things that are basic and even a little more in depth that some people I know are willing to research, but don't have the time/internet to look for it. Maybe someday she will want it, but for now, I'll just let a dead dog lie- until he starts running again (aka she asks for information/proof with an open mind).


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## xellil (Apr 4, 2011)

I think your idea of getting her to try a better dry food is a good one. 

And you can practice saying "we've discussed this. I don't want to argue with you or talk about it any more."


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## KittyKat (Feb 11, 2011)

It's obvious that she thinks corn and by-products and other things are great for dogs - you are not likely to change her mind. People are gullible and stubborn, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. 

I agree with xellil - practice your "i don't want to discuss this"

agree to disagree i suppose


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## Makovach (Jan 24, 2012)

KittyKat said:


> It's obvious that she thinks corn and by-products and other things are great for dogs - you are not likely to change her mind. People are gullible and stubborn, even in the face of overwhelming evidence.
> 
> I agree with xellil - practice your "i don't want to discuss this"
> 
> agree to disagree i suppose


Thats what I've decided to do. 

Though I may still get a bag of Acana....


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## magicre (Apr 7, 2010)

the only thing you can do when she brings it up is to stop responding. if only one person engages, there can be no discord.

excuse yourself and go to the bathroom....find something to eat.....tell her to talk to the hand....LOL

but don't engage.


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## NewYorkDogue (Sep 27, 2011)

magicre said:


> the only thing you can do when she brings it up is to stop responding. if only one person engages, there can be no discord.
> 
> excuse yourself and go to the bathroom....find something to eat.....tell her to talk to the hand....LOL
> 
> but don't engage.


This^^^ is something I am really learning to do... that, in fact, I have the choice to do.

Recently, I was on a phone call from an angry, and out-of-control relative. He was being hurtful and so destructive in his tirade...and I felt like a trapped animal, trying to reason with him, while I continued to glue the phone to my ear, taking in all this damaging energy...

Actually, all I had to do was simply take the phone and put down on the table. And walk away. Dis-engage. 

When someone said this to me later... I was dumbfounded. It was like, "wow-- I don't need to stand there and be abused..." 

Something revolutionary that I needed to hear.


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## Yorkie967 (Mar 13, 2012)

You know what is the most strangest thing in the world is that our very own family members, the ones closest to us are the ones that never listen to our advise but yet will do just about any ridiculous thing that their co-workers or someone they met somewhere told them about it. It's almost like they do it to piss you off or in spite of. You can give them back up proof or supporting documents from the FBI or show them something legitimate from 20/20 tv show and it will mean nothing and fall on deaf ears and they turn around and do something a stranger at church told them to do.

That's just the nature of the beast and something I know happens to every household in every ethnic background it doesn't matter...our mom & dads or our sons & daughters will not listen to us.


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## sozzle (May 18, 2011)

I can relate to this with my mum. She has for years suffered from a feeling of bloatedness/gas after meals and I suggested she ditch the gluten products like bread and pasta for a month just to see if she improves (when she was visiting last year). She is also overweight and does have other health issues.
She was very impressed with my own weight loss from giving up those things and sugar two years ago, but so far hasn't herself tried it. I have no idea why. She does of course continue to do everything her doctor tells her and won't do her own research. Doctors visits in UK are free under the National Health so she can go as often as she likes and is old school in always doing what her doctor tells her to even if sometimes it is detrimental to her health.
I've since decided as I live on the other side of the world, there is no point, it's her life, she can do what she wants but if she requests more information I will willingly give it to her.
Of course it might not be wheat products at all causing her to fart all day long but I know with me it stopped when I gave up or at least strictly limited my intake of those things.

It sounds like you in a losing battle with your BFs mother and she sounds like she will never believe you...............but stranger things have happened and as you say you may be surprised one day for her to do a complete turn around, especially if she can see the health benefits to your own dogs.
I do feel sorry for her little dog though, but ultimately it is her responsibility.


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