# Since I've been gone...



## BGBY (Sep 22, 2009)

As some of you know, I came here for help and info on the RAW diet for my girls, mainly Casey. I was welcomed with open arms and shown the way but only one person stood in my way and it was no one on the forum but the man I married. 

I was in for a long first month of feeding RAW and being harrassed endlessly on how I was going to hurt our dogs and make them sick, day in and day out. My hubby never once read up on RAW feeding. Never once did he read up on kibble and how carbs and the lot in bagged dog food is bad for carnivores i.e. our dogs... 

We went round and round and round, every day at about the time I was to feed the girls. He had a very difficult time with Casey eating RAW chicken/meat and how she would never get used to it, SHE'S TOO OLD! yada, yada, yada... it was constant.

Well, have you ever gotten to the point where you just say fuck it and walk away from it all? I did it and it broke my heart! I cried as I could not take any more crap from him... I did the unthinkable and went to the store and bought a 50 dollar bag of TOTW kibble. *hides in horror* I was just sick of it and beside myself because I had no support here at home once the computer was shut down for the night. It is also the reason why I stopped coming for awhile because I couldn't face you guys and know that my dogs were eating kibble. *discust*

I did everything I could for my girls, I thought and I felt that I had lost the great battle that day I picked the kibble up. Heart sick is an understatement but all the harrassment went away. He was very pleasant to me but pleasant I was not. I did not talk to him. I had spent my 10th yr wedding anniversary alone in the woods with a 20 gauge shot gun on a cold rainy day. I had to swollow my pride and watch my girls eat this kibble. I had to watch as Casey laid on the couch digging at herself more and more and DH would tell her to stop but I kept my mouth shut! I watched as their poop became bigger and messier. I saw Casey's energy level die off. Ava's eye boogers came back and even worse, she got the skittles and they both got gas. The back yard became a mine feild! DH would say that the dogs don't like their food. I shrugged my shoulders. There was nothing I could do about it. My hands were tied. They had pretty much the best of the best in terms of kibble.  I was done with RAW but I ached to continue!!! 

Well, I'm ashamed of giving into DH but something changed and he came to me yesterday afternoon and said, you know, I really hate to say it but I think Ava did better on RAW and I think you should start back up BUT Casey is TOO OLD to be fed RAW. Here we go again! I told him many older dogs are switched to RAW after years of being kibble fed and become accustomed to RAW and gain years back to their lives and vitality! You are doing a HUGE disservice to Casey by not giving her the best! *shuts mouth*

He goes on to say that he wants to do a food challenge and let Casey pick her own food. I said fine. *Me thinks she's had enough RAW for a month, I know she's gotta pick the chicken!!!* :biggrin: So I go to their freezer which hadn't been opened for almost two weeks and I get them a chicken to thaw and pick up the bowls of kibble that they had eaten for breakfast. I am praying to God that Casey will show him where the bear shits in the woods because I know Ava would do cartwheels for RAW. 

So dinner time comes.
Here is the video of Casey chosing her dinner...
YouTube - 11/1/09 Casey Chooses Her Food...

With all that said, I believe DH saw the benefits of RAW in that month that I was feeding it to them but just couldn't get over it and accept that maybe it is what's best for them and that he was wrong. As you can see, he is participating in their feedings which he had never done before other than to harrass me and them while they ate. He was having trouble seeing me give Casey a whole piece of chicken so I have comprimized a bit and chopped it into hunks for her to where she'll still have to chew, chew, chew to get it down but I feel we're on our way even though I have to start all over again, atleast they aren't destined for bags of kibble after bags of kibble. 

I'm not proud of what I did and I hope that I don't get an ear beating from you guys but I sure am happy that DH came to me and said to try again. It makes life easier, especially when he tells Casey to go ahead and eat her chicken. :smile:

And I just want to thank you guys for being here for me and listening to me when I was under such emense pressure from him. When I reversed psychology on him and gave up completely, I had hoped that it would be just a matter of time before he saw it my way and I believe it helped the girls and I in some way even though it set us back a bit. So thank all of you who have been here for the girls and I and supported us since we started. It means alot to me and I'll never forget all the kind words of encouragement you gave us! Hopefully, I will be able to stop posting on how hubby is derailing us in the future!


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## RawFedDogs (Jun 16, 2008)

Great post!!! Love stories like that. :smile: :smile: :smile:


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## BGBY (Sep 22, 2009)

I'm so relieved. I didn't know what you'd say about me giving in. I put up such a huge fight but I think Casey sealed the deal on her own. I'm greatful he gave her a chance!


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## rannmiller (Jun 27, 2008)

Yay I'm so happy he finally gave in! I think the switch back to kibble was necessary to get him on board so I don't blame you in the slightest for taking that risk because it paid off in the end, good job! I'm so proud of him for _finally_ getting it! And go Casey for saving herself and proving you right in the process! 

What a great story! Even my bf who is totally on board with raw but thinks I'm a total nerd for being on here enjoyed it :biggrin:


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## BGBY (Sep 22, 2009)

The girls are nudging me and crying for dinner. They're each splitting a whole chicken! :biggrin: 

Gotta go!


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

It really does suck that it took switching back to kibble to make him realize that raw is the better choice, but at least it got his attention as to WHY you wanted to switch in the first place. I bet he's kickin' himself right now for being wrong about it and for being a complete ass about it in the first place. And I bet you are relishing the glory of the win!!! :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:


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## BGBY (Sep 22, 2009)

Don't you know it! 

He said today I better feed them more than chicken and HEY!!! I could be right now if he wasn't such an ass about it but I don't want to mess their systems up by giving them other meats too soon. I have to account for the two weeks that he took off of them ya know... 

Sucks but I just can't throw them a steak right now. I could have but no, not now.


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## t0nnn (Apr 1, 2009)

I'm glad you won the battle..I'm dealing with the same thing right now with my Fiance, although I have never fed raw, but want to.

She's an amazing Spanish girl and I'm Italian, and we but heads on everything lol, we're both very stubborn. I've been getting to her though about feeding raw, from health benefits, cost, etc. 

I'm at a point now where she said if I read Twilight (Keep in mind I'm not a fan of reading) she will sit down with me and let me show her and explain everything about raw feeding. Right now Anytime I mention it, she doesn't want to hear it, so hopefully I'll be on here soon with a similar story :biggrin:

...Just have to buckle down and dive into this book, not cool


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## rannmiller (Jun 27, 2008)

Ordinarily I'd say reading is good for you and I love reading, but Twilight? That's pretty rough, man. She could've at least given you something like Harry Potter or even some Dan Brown (he may not be the best author, but it's hard to put his books down). Ah well, good luck and just keep in mind, it's for the sake of your dog!


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## t0nnn (Apr 1, 2009)

Sorry for Hi-jacking your thread, but yes I have to read that. I'm not looking forward to it. She has all the books, and read them in like 2 weeks. I think she's going to start to read them again? So that will maybe motivate me to start, we'll see.


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## BGBY (Sep 22, 2009)

I saw you say in another thread that she was against you. I was gonna post that your fiance and my hubby should get together some time. :biggrin:

Good Luck. 

Well, I'm part bitch and my Hubby is Italian. Our blood runs HOT, especially towards each other! :biggrin: We both have BIG tempers. Just so happens that I'm right and he's not! :tongue:


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

t0nnn said:


> Sorry for Hi-jacking your thread, but yes I have to read that. I'm not looking forward to it. She has all the books, and read them in like 2 weeks. I think she's going to start to read them again? So that will maybe motivate me to start, we'll see.


Just read em...I did. They are certainly not the best read out there, thats for sure. They are an easy, fun read....yeah, kinda girly but the story is engaging at least. And if you do...then you have no excuse to not feed your dogs raw right? And that is the goal!


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## rannmiller (Jun 27, 2008)

and you can have a fun time picking up the subtle Mormon undertones! who doesn't love that?


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

rannmiller said:


> and you can have a fun time picking up the subtle Mormon undertones! who doesn't love that?


I do because most of my distant family is mormon. I am one of 4 grandchildren on our side and there are 40+ on the other LOL


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## t0nnn (Apr 1, 2009)

danemama08 said:


> Just read em...I did. They are certainly not the best read out there, thats for sure. They are an easy, fun read....yeah, kinda girly but the story is engaging at least. And if you do...then you have no excuse to not feed your dogs raw right? And that is the goal!


See that's where this deal we have is one sided I think. I have to read the book, then she will sit down with me and let me show her the benefits of raw, Meaning i'm going to sit her down and make her read a lot of info on it and try to teach her the best I can. Although i'm very novice on the topic, i'm learning about it more and more on here. She still may refuse to feed raw after I show her everything. 

Honestly, I should do a test like BGBY did if she agrees to try and feed raw. Try it for a month or 2 then put kibble or raw in a bowl and let the pup pick.


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## rannmiller (Jun 27, 2008)

Yeah but only do that if she doesn't already love the results of the raw diet. Maybe the deal should be that if you read that entire, awful series, (because it's kind of a long one) then she not only has to listen to you about raw, but let you feed it for a trial period of two weeks. That way you and Bailey are at least guaranteed some sort of win in the matter.


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## t0nnn (Apr 1, 2009)

That's an option, but the WHOLE series?! lol I'll see what I can work out from one book and go from there


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

Why don't you just put your foot down and make an executive decision? Who is more in charge of the dogs in the first place?


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## t0nnn (Apr 1, 2009)

I'd say I am, But I don't want to disrespect her like that. I had to convince her that grain free was GOOD after I bought a bag of Horizon and switched Bailey to that from Innova...and that was a battle lol

I would just put my foot down, but I don't feel like fighting. We both bought her, I can't just decide like that. It's not fair to her, even though raw is 100% better for our dog.


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## BGBY (Sep 22, 2009)

I think she's being a lil rediculous making you read a book you have no intrest in that will certainly not benefit your dogs and certainly take time away from the research you could be doing for the dogs.

DH would not read anything that had to do with RAW! I went on with it with out him! 

Ask her what people back in the day, more than 50 years ago feed their dogs? Dog kibble is relatively new verses RAW MEAT that's been around for hundreds and hundreds of years! 

Personally, I think she's stroking you. I think she's trying her ways to see how she can manipulate you and let me tell ya, if you fall for it and read the book, I think you'd be setting yourself up for more of the same in the future. Let's say you want to go on a hunting trip in 5 years with your buddies... is she going to make you read the whole edition of Betty Crocker just so you can go? She might if you give in and read Twilight!!! 

I don't think reading TWILIGHT will do you or your dogs any good in getting the them on RAW. I think she's being immature at best with this stupid deal she thinks she has going on between the two of you. I'm with you though in thinking you're getting a bum deal because she may not agree with you in the end. I can't help it! I just wanna yell GROW UP! 

Just feed the dogs RAW already! If she has a problem with it, tell her to do the research but make sure you get rid of all the bagged kibble so she can't feed it to them. That's what I had to do.


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## BGBY (Sep 22, 2009)

And going round and round? I know all about it! DH and I were fighting at 5 am in the moring at times over RAW Feeding! Did I like it? NO! But it was well worth the time and energy spent doing so. People say, pick your battles... I picked one and the girls won because I knew it was what was best for them! 

As someone here once said to me... if he can't do the research, he can't have a say! It goes both ways...


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

I 100% agree with BGBY here.

Tell her she can have a say in the matter of the dogs diet, only if she does her own research.

What exactly is her arguement against raw?


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## rannmiller (Jun 27, 2008)

Yeah, I kind of agree, she needs to research raw before deciding against it and she needs to let you try it before she decides against it. It is extremely immature for her to make you do something completely unrelated in order to manipulate you and keep you from focusing on the real issue. 

However, I completely agree with you that you need to respect her and not just go completely against her wishes. You can bet if my bf one day decided that Pedigree was the best food for my dogs and was gonna feed it to them whether I liked it or not, he would not survive the day :biggrin:

So first off, you need to educate her that raw is the best thing for your dog and tell her that you won't be distracted by her manipulations. 

But you really should get into reading, it's good for you and will make you seem more intelligent when you argue against her :smile:


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## t0nnn (Apr 1, 2009)

Her argument against it is nothing really. She think Bailey will get salmonella poisoning and what not. People are scared of what they don't know...

Everyone has good points here, I'm gonna talk to her tonight and see what happens


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## BGBY (Sep 22, 2009)

That was one of my hubby's biggest fear... making them sick with samonella that yeah, could possibly kill us but dogs are different! Their saliva can break down and kill the samonella and as RFD would say, these dogs lick their butts!!! They also pass the meat out relatively quickly by deficating verses how long they process and deficate kibble food.

We can't lick our butts for a reason. If we could, it'd make us very sick, not to mention other people sick too! :biggrin:


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## rannmiller (Jun 27, 2008)

Actually, just as a point of clarification so if she does get the motivation to do the research, dogs actually have no digestive enzymes in their saliva. That's why they designed to rip off big chunks of meat and swallow them whole, cuz all the digestive enzymes are in their stomachs. Their stomachs are also about 10 times more acidic than ours, and their body temperature is higher so it essentially kills the bacteria by burning it, much like what we do to our meat in order to kill the bacteria. So its like their stomach is cooking the meat for them. Their bodies are designed to do this, which is why dogs rarely, if ever, get salmonella or e. coli poisoning. 

And if that weren't enough to kill the bacteria, their digestive tracts are also about 1/3 the size of ours which means the food goes through them much faster. This gives any potentially surviving bacteria in the system no time to ferment and manifest itself, because it's not in their long enough. 

And for further proof, feeding raw like this is the easiest to digest so the pancreas no longer has to rob other organs in the body of their enzymes in order to digest the unnatural food we put into our pets. So since the pancreas is no longer working in overtime and their other organs are no longer being raped for their enzymes, the dog will now have a stronger immune system because their body can focus on keeping itself healthy rather than trying to digest whatever garbage we choose to put into them. Yay raw food! :biggrin:


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## t0nnn (Apr 1, 2009)

Thank you Dr. Rannmiller :biggrin: I'll show her that as well


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## t0nnn (Apr 1, 2009)

So, When she got home last night I sat her down and explained that this is about our dog, not us and it wasn’t right that she was making me do something totally oblivious to what I was trying to teach her about. She agreed, but she still wants me to read, not for the reason of just letting me explain raw, but for the almost 3-1/2 years we’ve been together, she’s always been nagging me to read and I’ve always said no. So I told her since she’s being fair about this now, I will sit down and start reading something. 

Anyway, I was telling her how we would feed, what we would feed, and how we’d bag it up in the freezer, defrost the night before, etc. She actually seemed to like the idea, and the idea that it would be cheaper as well as 100% better for Bailey. She asked some questions, I showed her Rawfeddog’s site and some of the one’s linked on his site. 

So all in all, a lot of progress was made last night, the seed was planted and we’ll go from here. I’m gonna push to get her to agree to start feeding raw and hopefully by the end of this month when the Horizon is gone, we’ll have a freezer full of raw.


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## rannmiller (Jun 27, 2008)

Yay, that's awesome and a very mature way to handle the problem! You should take her to WalMart and show her the cheap bags of chicken leg quarters, that should get her excited to start even more! 

Bur I agree, wait til your current food runs out, then start on the raw. 

Oh and also, you really should read more. I once dated a guy who hated reading and it drove me crazy because there are a lot of amazing books out there and a lot to learn from reading. Trust me, it's not nearly as painful as it seems! Find something you're interested in reading and commit to finishing the whole book. Chances are, you'll probably love it!


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## t0nnn (Apr 1, 2009)

Yeah i'm sure I will. In school when we were forced to read a book and do a report or take a test on it, I always thought I was going to hate it and ended up liking the book ...so I just need to stop procrastinating and start


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

I suggest starting with any of Dan Brown's books, can't go wrong there....I'm currently working on "The Lost Symbol" gotta say I love it so far :biggrin:


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## Goldilocks (Aug 4, 2009)

Great story but so sorry you had to go through so much heartbreak and frustration to get to where you are today.

I have been back and forth between raw and kibble a couple times myself but the results seen on RAW are all the proof I need to continue. The last time I went back to kibble the difference in my dog was sad. Within 3 weeks we had ear goop, eye goop immediately, and a great lack of energy/zest for life. I know that I need to continue to feed RAW for the rest of her life as she just does not thrive on kibble. I have proven that to myself. You have proven it to your husband too so having to switch back to kibble for a couple weeks was worth it.


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## DaneMama (Jun 27, 2008)

Goldilocks said:


> Great story but so sorry you had to go through so much heartbreak and frustration to get to where you are today.
> 
> I have been back and forth between raw and kibble a couple times myself but the results seen on RAW are all the proof I need to continue. The last time I went back to kibble the difference in my dog was sad. Within 3 weeks we had ear goop, eye goop immediately, and a great lack of energy/zest for life. I know that I need to continue to feed RAW for the rest of her life as she just does not thrive on kibble. I have proven that to myself. You have proven it to your husband too so having to switch back to kibble for a couple weeks was worth it.


Well its always good to know that one more person out there really gets it and why its so important to feed a species appropriate diet!!! Welcome to the boards :wink:


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## BGBY (Sep 22, 2009)

Goldilocks said:


> Great story but so sorry you had to go through so much heartbreak and frustration to get to where you are today.
> 
> I have been back and forth between raw and kibble a couple times myself but the results seen on RAW are all the proof I need to continue. The last time I went back to kibble the difference in my dog was sad. Within 3 weeks we had ear goop, eye goop immediately, and a great lack of energy/zest for life. I know that I need to continue to feed RAW for the rest of her life as she just does not thrive on kibble. I have proven that to myself. You have proven it to your husband too so having to switch back to kibble for a couple weeks was worth it.


It was a very difficult decision but I did it. It was like setting one of my kid's up for failure and watching them fall flat on their face, knowing all the while it was going to happen. <sometimes kids need tough love but the dogs didn't need set back like that but DH gave me no choice> 

We are well on our way again and DH has not given me any negative feed back since we started back up! :biggrin:


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