Too funny!!!!!

[xxshaelxx]

So, the *cough* ex-husband came in today to bring me my mother's Scolari's card (local grocery store, because she works there, and it's an employee card, and she can get in big trouble if he has it). As I grab the card from him, this is the conversation that ensued:

"Do me a favor?"
"What?"
"Before you refinance the house, make sure I'm not dead."
*skeptical, annoyed look.* "Why?"
"Because it's part of my new job description."
"Okay?"
"What am I wearing?"
*looks down to find him in a pair of military issued, camouflage cargo pants.*
"Hmph. I don't care!"

I could barely contain my laughter as I walked away, and literally blew up into a fit of laughter before I even reached the kitchen. If he thinks MY nagging is bad, I can't WAIT for him to meet his drill sergeant! And my friend tells me they don't allow porn in the military. Another friend hopes he gets a female drill sergeant (and so do I!!!). I know one thing, though, he just made the biggest mistake of his life. He can't even brush his teeth in the mornings!!! I give him to the end of his first week in boot camp. My friend says two days.

And I'm just back here laughing my little heart out.

[wags]

Ha! Maybe he will straighten his act out being in the military!
The comment make sure I'm not dead ummm I think he said that to the wrong peson! 1. why would you care! 2. I'm sure you've been wishing him this for a while heehee!
Oh well good luck to him and his new military career! Now you can be rid of him and not deal with the loser for while that is!

[MollyWoppy]

Uh huh, this actually could be the making of him, you know. Sounds like some discipline and exercise could be just what he needs. Anyway, even if he hates it he's screwed, he's there for the duration of however long he signed up for, right?

[xxshaelxx]

Ha! Maybe he will straighten his act out being in the military!

My dad thinks it could be a good thing, or it could be a bad thing. Yeah, it could totally straighten out his act, make him mature into a man, rather than the irregularly immature boy that he is now. However, I know him. The only reasons I can think of for him to join the army are 1. to play with big guns, 2. because he's lost all of his jobs because he's a moron, and he's desperate now to make money, and 3. because his pathetic jobs aren't cutting it, and he needs MORE money to support his bad habits (the porn, calling people in other countries, sending them money, eating nothing but fast food or junk, etc). AND I've known someone that the military did the complete opposite to... DX Turned him into a racist, blood-thirsty, killing machine. I talked to him alone once, and was quite terrified by the time I left...

The comment make sure I'm not dead ummm I think he said that to the wrong peson! 1. why would you care! 2. I'm sure you've been wishing him this for a while heehee!

1. I really don't, and I'm really quite sure that I gave him this impression. I was given the impression, by this exact quote from him, that he wanted me to care, though. hahahaha.

2. No, I haven't been wishing death on him. I don't think that would solve anything, but pain...really horrible, excruciating, mind-blowing, money sucking pain. Could get that now, though!

Uh huh, this actually could be the making of him, you know. Sounds like some discipline and exercise could be just what he needs. Anyway, even if he hates it he's screwed, he's there for the duration of however long he signed up for, right?

It could be, but as I said below, it could also be a bad thing. haha. I think that he made the biggest mistake of his life, because he's such a wuss, he's soooooo beyond weak, and he's a crybaby. He can't even brush his teeth in the morning, got sooooo depressed once when someone told him to go kill himself...I can't IMAGINE how he'll act when a drill sergeant drills into him. hahahaha.

[cprcheetah]

Sounds like he'll need all the luck in the world. I know I've had a few cousins join the army/navy etc, some it's straightened out, others it messed up even more.

[CorgiPaws]

This is by no means in his defense, as I know what an idiot he's been to you. BUT...

I've seen the military turn some pretty good-for-nothing smart a** boys into real, respectable men.

Could be exactly what he needs, only time will tell.

[xxshaelxx]

This is by no means in his defense, as I know what an idiot he's been to you. BUT...

I've seen the military turn some pretty good-for-nothing smart a** boys into real, respectable men.

Could be exactly what he needs, only time will tell.

Yeah, exactly. It really could be what he needs. Personally, though, I think he'll fail miserably. If he doesn't, I certainly hope, for the sake of any other women he might meet in the future, that it does straighten him out, because I really don't want anyone else to have to go through what I went through with him.

Either way, as I've said before, could be a good thing, could be a bad thing.

[MollyWoppy]

How long did he sign up for?

[ann g]

I don't know your situation but your ex sounds like a real loser. My husband is in the army and we live in military housing and I can tell you that the majority of people I live by haven't had any positive changes from the military. The military likes to accept the worst of our population. My neighbors dont even know how to roll their trash can back from the street. Either way, sounds like you were smart for getting out of that marriage.

[xxshaelxx]

How long did he sign up for?

I don't know. I didn't stick around to ask. Didn't even stick around to ask whether it really was the army he signed up for, but it's not hard to put two and two together. The clothes and him saying that it's in his job description that he might die. haha.

I don't know your situation but your ex sounds like a real loser. My husband is in the army and we live in military housing and I can tell you that the majority of people I live by haven't had any positive changes from the military. The military likes to accept the worst of our population. My neighbors dont even know how to roll their trash can back from the street. Either way, sounds like you were smart for getting out of that marriage.

Awwah. That makes me sad, because I really did hope that he would learn a lesson, because what I want more than anything is for him to not go out into the world and do the same damn thing that he did to me to some other poor, helpless, clueless girl...

And trust me, he's beyond just a loser. He can't even brush his own teeth. Says he'll never own another pet as long as he lives because he doesn't want the responsibility (yet he wants children...dog help us!)...