So, just my official announcement...

[xxshaelxx]

I'll soon be on the market once more! XD

So, Adam and I are getting a divorce. It's really for the best, but my greatest disappointment is that he's going to learn NOTHING from this. I don't believe in karma, for the simple fact that he's going to walk away from this like nothing happened, and I'm stuck in a bad position.

Anyways, so yeah, I tried everything in my power to work on our relationship, to get him to realize that I really DID (did being the keyword, because now I don't at all) love him, and that I wanted us to work out. I mean, I am TERRIFIED of guns, I HATE them with a passion, I am MORALLY against them. Yet my dad suggested going out with him to shoot, just so it'd be something I could do with Adam, so I DID it. Despite being completely terrified and totally against it, I went out and shot guns. So the next day, we took Adam out, and he SECLUDED himself. The next day, he sat there and told me that he felt like the third wheel. WAKE UP CALL! You can't say you felt like the third wheel when YOU secluded YOURSELF from something we were doing for YOU. So anyways, I'm talking to my dad about this, and he drops a bomb on me that I never even realized, because I was so terrified, shooting my first handgun and all that jazz, he goes "Yeah, I was surprised. He handed you his hand gun and...WALKED AWAY!" REALLY?! YOU HAND A TERRIFIED NOVICE A HANDGUN AND WALK AWAY?! "Here, wifey, here's a semi-automatic handgun more powerful than the other guns you've shot so far. Try not to blow your head off with it."

So anyways, the second he thought he was free of me, he went and bought two new handguns priced by a very kind friend of mine between $1200-1500. He also went and ate at Taco Bell, KNOWING I hate the place and boycott them because of their absolutely ridiculous commercials that advocate the stealing of money from children and the not tipping of people because you can get $.89 beef tacos or some bull crud. He shaved his head (and let me tell you, it makes him look HORRIBLE!), because I wouldn't let him, because I knew it'd make him look HORRIBLE (he's got a mole on the back of his head that I never knew was there, but is SO obvious because he's got about an eighth of an inch of hair, and it just looks SO wrong). He also went and got himself a second job. For MONTHS I was trying to get him to get a second job. I held up my end of the bargain for him, which was never going home early from work so I could make a couple extra bucks, and he NEVER even really LOOKED for a job. But of course, the second it's not something he NEEDS to do because I WANT him to do it, he goes and does it. All of this proves that he just wants to do whatever he wants to! He's BEYOND immature. And he's not going to learn a SINGLE lesson.

So anyways, I'm going to call and get a free consult from a lawyer and see if I can't take him for a huge alimony payment every month. That would teach him the lesson I want him to learn, that you can't just do whatever it is you feel like doing, such as going out and spending $1200-1500 on guns when you know you're going to be out on your butt soon. I've already got a pretty good case against him. I mean, the buying of the guns thing is just creepy in itself, he's cheated on me before, he hasn't lifted a single finger trying to work on this relationship, and he's the one breaking it off. So I'm hoping I can get what I want. Then I won't have to get some creepy roommate to help cover the costs of the house, because there's just way too many seriously wrong people out in this world, and it would be hard to find someone who I could A) trust not to murder me while I sleep, B) not steal my money while my back is turned, and C) actually get along with.

On the plus side, though, he doesn't want any of the animals (we're actually at three dogs and three cats now. I gave away the ferrets because I couldn't give them what they needed), I managed to get the house, and I managed to get the $10,000 savings account. He's getting the $10,000 piece of junk car, though, so I can also use that against him. haha. But yeah, I'm getting the house because he can't just kick me out with three dogs and three cats and expect me to have a place to go with them, and I'm getting the savings account because it's technically money from our wedding from pretty much MY relatives to start our new lives together, which he's ending without lifting a finger. We got a total of $16,000 from the wedding, of which MAYBE $1,000 was from his side of the family. I had one grandparent give us $5,000, one give us $3,000, I had an aunt give us $3,000, another aunt gave us $1,000, then a bunch of my other relatives gave us between $100-$500 each. And that was for us to start our lives with. We used it to buy the house (the down payment at least), and then got the $8000 tax credit back, which most of it went back into the savings account. So either way you look at it, it's either wedding money or house money, and since I'm getting the house, it should come with it.

But yeah, anyways, my parents always used to advocate for Adam, always used to tell me that I needed to do this for him, do that for him, and that I was in the wrong here, and in the wrong there. After the last couple of weeks, though, I know they've come to realize exactly what I'm dealing with. My dad's exact words were "He's skewed." He literally takes the things that people says and twists them around to use for his own benefit, and sometimes takes things, twists them around, and says them just to hurt me. There have been numerous time he has made me almost pull the plug on my own life.

Anyways, to those that have read my venting and frustrations, thank you. It's actually for the best. I'm no longer in love with him, but thoroughly disgusted. I'm more upset about the fact that I used up four and a half years of my life on this deadbeat, and that I'm walking away hurt and ashamed, and he's walking away with his head held high like it's a great victory. So yes, I'm totally taking him to court just for that, I totally want to bleed him dry, just so he can't hold his head up high and think that he's won over me. He needs to learn a lesson...

[whiteleo]

I'm really sorry things didn't work out for you, you did a good vent! Men in general can be jerks If something were to ever happen to my husband (and he's much older than me) I'd never in a million years get married again and I waited until I was 37 to do it this time. Kick yourself in the a** and and look forward, don't look back, no regrets, just go forward. Life is too short. Good Luck.

[CorgiPaws]

I'm sorry you're going through this, that really sucks... sometimes things just don't work out, and that usually means that something better and more compatible is waiting just around the corner, sometimes you just have to walk a few miles to get to that corner, but it's there!

I've always told myself that I will just let Jon do what he wants to do, and I'll do what I want to do, and if we move forward in the same direction together (on our own accord) then fantastic. If not, then we will discuss if we are truly compatible and work on it from there. So far so good. It sounds like there was a lot of trying to make eachother into the partners you wanted eachother to be. Effort is good, no, effort is great, and it sounds like you put a lot of EFFORT in... you just can't change someone. (though I can think of a few people I would if I could!!!)

At least you have us to vent to! Hang in there, I'm sure it seems like a total mess now, and I'm sure there's a million and a half emotions that change every five seconds, but it will all come together soon, and eventually you'll find something that makes you happier than he ever could.

[xxshaelxx]

haha. Actually, after telling me that there are a few "cute" coworkers at work that he MAY want to f$%&, and the stunt with buying the guns, I'm pretty set up on hating him. I just feel like he's disgusting. Rannmiller said to me the other day that I need someone with determination and goals. I said "No, I need someone with an IQ higher than 40." hahahahahaha. But really, he's not the brightest crayon in the box. O.o

[CorgiPaws]

haha. Actually, after telling me that there are a few "cute" coworkers at work that he MAY want to f$%&

what a pig.

[xxshaelxx]

what a pig.

My sentiments exactly. XP Haven't even signed the paperwork yet.

[harrkim120]

Good luck there girl!!!

I know exactly what you're going through...went through it myself with my previous boyfriend. Stuck in it for 5 1/2 years because I was scared of what would happen if I left, and because there was a child involved. We moved to Florida together with the hope that things would get better...obviously they didn't.

I'm SOOOOOO much happier without him. I was very depressed and constantly beating myself up when I was with him. He was also someone who would turn anything and everything around on me. Very irresponsible with his money (and is even more so now). I don't think that he ever grew anymore mentally after the age of 16.

It was quite rough at first, but thankfully I had the help of an awesome friend, and the support of the rest. I also met the love of my life since then who has helped me find myself again. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Things will be tough at first, but I promise that they will only get better. And at least now you've opened yourself up to find someone that's right for you.

Keep us posted!!!

[luvMyBRT]

So sorry to hear of this! To be honest, he sounds like a total jerk and I know you will be WAY better off without him. Keep your head up and try to stay positive. It's great to know that our dogs will be there and loyal to us no matter what!

[magicre]

divorce is so hard on people...i'm terribly sorry you're going through this.....stay strong...and have a cuddle with your animals.....it'll help the stress levels you'll have in the days to come.....

very sad to hear this news.

[dobesgalore]

Oh I'm so sorry to here that. I've been through a divorce myself and I won't lie, it was terrible. But when it was overI came out on top(the woman usually does) and the relief I felt was wonderful. I felt like I had my life back.