Had the talk...

[hmbutler]

I'm in the process of trying to figure out exactly how to go about this. The housing market SUCKS here as it does everywhere. I contacted the real estate agent we bought our house from and told her we wanted it back on the market. She gave us some really horrible news saying it would probably only go up for about $120,000 and we paid $154,000 for it before it was even finished inside. We put over $40,000 into it ourselves. Just a kick to the stomach.

Wow that really is a kick in the guts... compare that to my house I just built - nothing that flash, standard 4 bedroom 2 bathroom, in a standard housing estate... cost us about 380k, and even in our decreasing housing market it'll be valued at about 420k once we finish the back yard... how's that for a difference!! I'd kill to buy a house for 200k!!

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time, and the house just makes it especially bad. Is there no way you could both agree to continue paying your halves of the mortgage and rent it out? Is the rental market any better? I can understand you'd want to cut all ties and get time to yourself, but with the dogs keeping you's in contact, keeping the house too might not be too much of a stretch (assuming you can afford it that is). I dunno, just something to think about.

Thinking of you through this tough time xx

[Northwoods10]

Well that is an option....for one of us to stay there. But I don't know how long one of us could afford it....and honestly how one of us would buy the other out. Its just a mess.

He brought it up tonight- that I could stay there and have my own space. But I don't see how I can move on living with him. Sure...I could have the basement and my own personal space but it would just be weird....I am not sure what to think. It would be nice to be with the dogs all the time....but I don't know.

I think if we're done, we need to be done.

[xellil]

Wow that really is a kick in the guts... compare that to my house I just built - nothing that flash, standard 4 bedroom 2 bathroom, in a standard housing estate... cost us about 380k, and even in our decreasing housing market it'll be valued at about 420k once we finish the back yard... how's that for a difference!! I'd kill to buy a house for 200k!!

It depends on where you live here. Some areas are still really expensive. Here in Indiana, houses are very cheap so I suspect Wisconsin is similar. East or West Coast, Florida - different story.

My realtor's best advice was to turn my house over to a property manager and rent it.

But, I will be out of state. If I were going to be closer so I could make sure walkthoughs are being done, I could drive by and make my own repairs without paying a ton of money for others to do it, I would sure consider it. If you could get rent high enough to make the mortgage payments and the financial death is not due to a slow bleedout rather than a stab in the heart by selling.

[MollyWoppy]

I know in the NW suburbs of Chicago and down here, the residential rentals are doing quite well. Not huge rent, but enough. Its the business rentals that are hurting.
I'm sorry to hear this has happened, but on the other hand I'm glad its you in the driving seat so to speak. Be prepared and cover yourself though, once the shock has worn off, he could turn right nasty. Seen that happen more than once or twice. I'd also see a lawyer sooner rather than later.
Good luck, I hope you find some peace now you've made a decision.

[KittyKat]

Well that is an option....for one of us to stay there. But I don't know how long one of us could afford it....and honestly how one of us would buy the other out. Its just a mess.

He brought it up tonight- that I could stay there and have my own space. But I don't see how I can move on living with him. Sure...I could have the basement and my own personal space but it would just be weird....I am not sure what to think. It would be nice to be with the dogs all the time....but I don't know.

I think if we're done, we need to be done.

If money's an issue... is it possible to turn the basement into a separate apartment?

[Northwoods10]

If money's an issue... is it possible to turn the basement into a separate apartment?

Thats what he wants. I just don't know if I can live there...and move on. Same for him. I have stayed there twice since this all ended and he won't leave me alone while I am there. Wants to talk and wants answers, and I told him if I'm going to be living there I need my space.

Its so confusing and frustrating...I'm not sure what to do.

[MissusMac]

I've been away from DFC for a while and I hate to come back to this news. I'm sorry you're going through this, but I really wish you the best of luck and hope that counseling helps you both. Good luck!

[SubMariner]

Thats what he wants. I just don't know if I can live there...and move on. Same for him. I have stayed there twice since this all ended and he won't leave me alone while I am there. Wants to talk and wants answers, and I told him if I'm going to be living there I need my space.

Its so confusing and frustrating...I'm not sure what to do.

This is a painful process and no one, no matter how amicable the break up, comes out unscathed.

IMHO the best course of action is you to live apart & work out the details of the split. Being under the same roof while going through this is really not the best scenario for either of you.

Keep on truckin',