Ever had to make the decision to give up a pet? Sorry...long...

[SerenityFL]

Actually, schtuffy, I think you are being the opposite of selfish. You realize that you are not giving them the adequate time, care and play that they need. If you were truly selfish, you wouldn't consider them at all and would keep them around simply to say, "I have birds. I've had them since I was a kid, therefore, they stay". You're not doing that. You are realizing that when it comes to them, you fall short and you know it's not fair to them.

And you aren't really giving them away. They are going back to another family member that they have known much of their life. And this family member is able to give them the time, care and play that those birds need. These are intelligent creatures and they have to have that. They need it. They thrive on it.

You're not dumping them off somewhere or releasing them in to the "wild", (meaning, out in the woods or the Glades to fend for themselves like too many idiots do), you're not handing them off to someone you don't even know, they are going to your dad's. The birds will get what they need, from someone you know, trust and who knows these birds and the birds know.

If you don't have the time, I can't think of a better solution. It's actually perfect for them.

You're not doing anything wrong here, you're doing everything right.

I suspect the guilt is because you DO love these birds and feel you didn't love them enough. The reality is, you do love them enough to do right by them. So no more guilt, ok?

[magicre]

i don't know if this will help...

we had four shih tzus. my eldest girl, yoshi, the one who convinced my honey that he really did like dogs, and my youngest, nichi...decided they liked her better.

whenever she would come over, they'd go to her and mourn when she left.

she moved in with us shortly thereafter and we rarely saw 'our' two dogs again.

when she moved out to go rock with friends her own age, she asked if they could come with her.

no one can tell an animal or bird whom to love.....the dogs went with my MIL and your birds can go home to your dad and i bet they will be happier because he can give to them what you want them to have.

win win. no guilt. sad, yes...but no guilt.

[schtuffy]

Thanks everyone...I've come to terms with it better since I cemented the decision this past weekend. You're right Re, maybe now what I'm feeling is the sadness. And Serenity, you're right too...a lot of my guilt was from realizing I don't let them out of their cage enough and give them enough attention. I was watching them nibble on zucchinis yesterday when I was prepping dinner and thinking about how I will miss that. I will miss their little chirps and chatters in the background. The screaming at 5 AM, definitely not... But I will miss being greeted by a "hello" when I come home. They will still be my birds, just living somewhere else where they will be happier.

My dad basically lives off of TV dinners and frozen foods after him and my mom separated So I'm going to have to figure out how to get fresh foods to the birds...might have to prep fruits and veggies in batches and drop them off during the week. Victor says I'm just worrying too much. Maybe once it happens I will stop stressing. Anyways, my dad is leaving for Taiwan for a week this Friday to see my grandma. He comes back next weekend, but I will be in NYC with some friends, and then there's the marathon the weekend after that. So the move will probably happen sometime in mid October. I'll let you guys know how it goes.

[schtuffy]

Just wanted to update all of you...I've had a busy past couple of weeks so I ended up going through with this later than expected. But this past Saturday I moved Hermes to my dad's house, and she took to it right away...no screaming, no visible distress, nothing. If anything it was the car ride that stressed her out. Once we got her cage set up and everything, she climbed in and went right to sleep! I went and checked on her this afternoon and she seemed like she was doing great. I will have to fine tune some care instructions with my dad and such, so that is still a work in progress...but as long as she's adjusting okay, everything else should be a breeze.

I wanted to thank you all for supporting my decision...because I was doubting myself up until the moment we moved her. I did end up keeping Bibi, my sun conure though. He is less maintenance and I think the house would have been too silent without his chirps and chatters. Anyway, it's only been 2 days and I am already feeling a lot less stressed. My dad's house looks more homey now with her there, and he said he will build her lots of toys. On the flip side, my house is now more spacious and a lot cleaner, yay! Hopefully this works out in the long run too!

[minnieme]

Glad to hear it all worked out. Don't you feel so much better now? That means you did the right thing.

[magicre]

Just wanted to update all of you...I've had a busy past couple of weeks so I ended up going through with this later than expected. But this past Saturday I moved Hermes to my dad's house, and she took to it right away...no screaming, no visible distress, nothing. If anything it was the car ride that stressed her out. Once we got her cage set up and everything, she climbed in and went right to sleep! I went and checked on her this afternoon and she seemed like she was doing great. I will have to fine tune some care instructions with my dad and such, so that is still a work in progress...but as long as she's adjusting okay, everything else should be a breeze.

I wanted to thank you all for supporting my decision...because I was doubting myself up until the moment we moved her. I did end up keeping Bibi, my sun conure though. He is less maintenance and I think the house would have been too silent without his chirps and chatters. Anyway, it's only been 2 days and I am already feeling a lot less stressed. My dad's house looks more homey now with her there, and he said he will build her lots of toys. On the flip side, my house is now more spacious and a lot cleaner, yay! Hopefully this works out in the long run too!

you've just done a wonderful thing.....you put your pet first and foremost above your own desires.....it doesn't get any better than that....

you've done a kindness to both your bird and your father.....he now has purpose.

as i said...win. win. i'm smiling and you will be too. soon.