hard decision, need advice

[Kat]

So here's a short version of my predicament....

I have a black female cat named Kiichi who is a month away from turning 7, and a black and white male cat named Sam who is 3 years old. Kiichi does not like my pug Ruby at all, and since getting Ruby almost 2 years ago Kiichi has not been able to adjust. She has been weird around dogs ever since our chocolate lab died 4 years ago. Kiichi obsessively grooms and pulls out her hair on her stomach, inner legs, and recently began pulling out the hair on her inner arms. She was on clomicalm for a bit to help with the obsessive grooming, but built up a tolerance for it and it no longer works. (vet suggested to up the dose but it still didnt work). At times of higher stress she likes to take it out on my sister by peeing on her bed. It is 100% behavioral issues peeing, not due to urinary tract infections or crystals, I go to the vet with her for a urinalysis when she acts up.

I am at my wits end, I love this cat to death, she was my first pet when I was 16 I adopted her with the money I earned from a summer job. But I can not stand to see her so stressed out and its making my mom and sister hate her from all the peeing she does always on my sisters bed. Its really frustrating. I do everything I can, the cats have 3 very large litter boxes, scooped daily, and thorougly cleaned and fresh litter every 2 weeks, I dont know what else I can possibly do. She is fed high quality food, several times a day.

And thats my other problem, if I rehome Kiichi, I would have to rehome Sam with her. They are attached and Kiichi was there when I first adopted Sam as a kitten so he is used to having her around, and taking her away from him would upset both of them. Even when I take Kiichi to the vet Sam meows and searches for her the entire time.

I feel bad thinking this way but I dont know what else I can do. I CANT get rid of Ruby, I feel there is a much stronger bond with dogs than with cats. It sounds mean and selfish to say but I cant explain it any differently. I want what is best for Kiichi, and I really do think she would be happier in a dog free home.

Another issue I see though is her age and the fact that both the cats are black and black/white. Most people dont want black or white cats so I know giving them up to a shelter is not what I want to do because they may never get adopted.

I dont know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[MollyWoppy]

Ok, let me start off by saying I know absolutely nothing about cats. So, anything I say is probably so far off base it's not funny. However, looking at whats happened, it seems like the kitten lost a friend in your pup that died 4 years ago, and hasn't been able to adjust to life and changes since.
Are you able to spend special one on on time with the kitten? Like, tire her out physically with a Da Bird, or some other toy that she absolutely adores? Or long grooming sessions, or even taking her out for walks? I know with my cat, it is a huge bonding session when I do these things with her, which makes me happy as I want her to be fulfilled as a cat. Just doing these things seems to make her contented, something to occupy and tire her mind and body out.
I have absolutely no idea why the kitten would pee on the bed, unless the litterbox is dirty, but knowing you, that definately is not the case. Maybe your sister should start shutting her bedroom door, that could be a start.
Anyway, the others will probably say these are stupid ideas, but I don't know what else to suggest. I feel horrible for you though, what a heartbreaking situation.

[Kat]

Well as a 7 year old cat, she really only plays in short burts, she mostly likes to lounge around and cuddle with me. I do spend a lot of one on one time with her, and she sleeps in my bed every night on a special pillow I put beside my head. I spend one on one time as equally as I can with both cats and the dog. Right now Im spending time with Sam, he is sleeping on my arm on my computer desk lol. Unfortunatley, I can not lock the cats out of my sisters bedroom. We live in an apartment and my sisters bedroom is where my cats like to hang out lol. Also, I put a litter box in there in hopes of it stopping Kiichi from peeing on her bed, and there was really no other place for the third litter box.

I am very particular about my "pet stuff" and always make sure everyone has clean water, clean litter, and clean sleeping areas. I even vacuum the scratching posts once a week lol. I go annoyingly above and beyond what some people find to be "normal" and my sister always gets annoyed at my daily ritual of what I do for my cats and dog.

Suggesting the idea to my mom to rehome the cats she automatically assumes I am being cruel. When honestly, even thinking about it makes me upset. I am, like most people on this forum I assume, very bonded to animals and usually prefer their company to that of people lol.

Also, I have 7 scratching posts, 2 in my sister room, 2 in the kitchen, and 3 in the living room, ranging from 4 feet to 8 feet tall, so they have a lot of vertical space which should make any cat happy. I have a very large living room so we actually put up baby gates blocking the living room from the rest of the house so Ruby can only stay in the living room when no one is home, but the cats have easy access by jumping from one post to the other located on opposite sides of the gate so Kiichi doesnt have to be near Ruby if she didnt want to be but it still doesnt help.

[MollyWoppy]

See, told you I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. I really do feel for you, you obviously give the kittens everything they need. Honestly, I don't know what to suggest. I'm so sorry it's had to come down to this, you've done the absolute best you can, having to make a decison like this would just totally break my heart too.
And, is that right, cats do slow down a bit by 7 years old? Great, only 4 more years to go and I can have a break! Awesome!
Please let me know how it goes....

[Kat]

Lol, the only time she gets active is when everyone is a sleeping and she will grab her cat nip bean bag and creepily walk to my room while meowing like a zombie kitty. I say zombie kitty because she has the weirdest meow I have ever heard, it sounds so broken lol. And by the morning I have like 4 cat nip beanies in my bed lol.

[MollyWoppy]

Awww, she love you! She sounds like a real sweetheart!

[Kat]

Yeah, she really is. Which is why it is such a hard decision to make.

[NZ Raw]

Adopting out your cat isn't going to change the cats behavior it will probably make it worse and then it would be someone else s problem. The over grooming is probably from stress so a new environment won't help. Have you tried those plug in things FELIWAY - Official Site it would be worth a go. We used it for one of our cats and it seemed to work. Other wise idk know, there is not a lot more worse than cat pee around your home, it may end up you have a harder decision to make.
Hopefully others will have some ideas.

[Kat]

Yes I tried a more natural route before putting her on clomicalm. I tried feliway, herbal drops for anxiety, and a herbal calming plug in aswell, and before doing clomicalm I also tried Anxitane which is a vet prescribed pill that has green tea in it.

I know the over grooming is from stress, it started after we got Ruby two years ago, but it slowly became worse and worse.

This is why it is a hard decision, I want to do what is best for both my cats. Considering I have had her for 6.5 years it is difficult to even think of giving her up. But I dont want to be selfish and keep her somewhere where she is constantly stressed out by my dog.

Im not just going to give up on my cat, this has been an ongoing battle for the past two years. Its not like I just decided over night "oh I no longer want my cat" , I hate people that just decide they can get rid of a pet because they dont feel like having them anymore. This is for the health of my cat. In the end I may not even end up doing it, Im just exploring my options.

[brandypup]

Hi newbie here but I have gone through this before. Can you claify you did a blood and urine work up on the cat? That is the only way to be 100% sure it's not medical with bladder, liver or kidneys. I would also switchoff kibble and feed canned-even friskies canned. A cheap canned food is better then a high grade kibble. It's the moisture. The kidneys and liver need to moisture and the kibble will rob them of it.

If kitty is locked in a small space like a bathroom with a litter box will she use it? This is retrianing a cat to use the box. Ther eis also special litters to attract them to it. Of course a stressed, upset cat will stillmiss unless they feel completly safe in their litter box. This can be achomplished as well as giving her her own space. Another option is higher spaces. Cats feel better the higher up they are. Gives them a way out.

I am currently using the feliway calming collar and it works very well. About to by a bunch more. Also meletonin is a natural calming aid. (sigh) I hope you find some answers.